Sunday, August 21, 2016

AQAG#10



Eh di kung sino ang unang nagkagusto.

In the old-fashioned world, straights would struggle to force-fit LGBT relationships into the neat and tidy dichotomies of Male, the hunter, and Female, the hunted. A lot of them fail to realize that the norms of dating have changed since the 60's.

A question like this would probably come from the Titas and Titos of Manila. They don't even realize that perhaps, their own sons and daughters, nephews and nieces have not been following those norms either.

But let me reply to this at a personal level.

I've always been the pursuer rather than the pursuee (?). I am predator not by choice but by circumstance.

In the gay world I grew up in, the beautiful ones, the gods of our age, were almost always the one being pursued. If you were such a beauty, all you had to do was show up in the dance club or the bar and the lesser mortals would be gravitating towards you.

I wanted to be one of them. I craved for the attention they got. But alas, my physical circumstances were not at that level. I have a buddy who was one: handsome, fair, tall.  We'd go to the clubs then and he'd get the stares and even the flirty chitchat. I realized then that my role was 'manliligaw' more than 'nililigawan'.

With that acceptance, I grew more confident and went after people I liked. It has worked for me immensely. I like that I have more 'control'. I also didn't take the situation as an excuse not to work on being a bit more attractive. On the contrary, I really worked on maximizing whatever potential I had. Even as the 'hunter', I had to make sure that the 'hunted' would willingly fall.

Looking back, it all seems so juvenile and immature. But those things got me started on my path towards physical fitness.

So yeah, ako ang nanliligaw. Pero kasi ako yung may gusto at ayokong maghintay lang.

Friday, August 19, 2016

MMJ3

The year and a half of being single about 6 years ago had me indulging in my masahe past time, both spas and home service. I would frequent this "legit" spa along Quezon Ave. usually after a Sunday afternoon run in UP. I call it 'legit' because that establishment explicitly bars their therapists from providing ES. And for the most part, the therapists do comply.

But still, their style of massage would always include a sensual groin or anal 'pass' or lingering touch. That would always excite me but leave me high and dry. Eventually, I encountered one who was 'creative' and courageous enough to provide an almost hand job. Sorry, I cannot describe it in words. Though still wanting, he was good looking enough for me to come back for seconds.

There was this spa near the airport, South Bay City Spa, which was also 'legit'. But their boys were a lot more 'non-compliant'. Even in common rooms, they manage to give their guests hand jobs. But if you get the exclusive treatment rooms, it becomes free-for-all.

I recall Jobert specifically. He was quite 'malambing' with a nice smile. There were even light kisses on your lips as he massaged your head. He was quite participatory, giving and receiving head to clients he likes. I liked that I felt he was attracted to me. That feeling always adds to the pleasure. And those kisses still linger in my mind.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, August 15, 2016

The Many-faced God

I'm a Game of Thrones fan. One of the side stories in the wildly popular series involves a mysterious cult led by this figure imbued with power to assume different faces. It seems that his followers eventually exhibit this power, too.

I am reminded of how Jesus himself seems to have this power to be unrecognizable. I get a glimpse of this from the Transfiguration. But after the Resurrection, it seems that this has become a 'regular' feature, starting with the way Mary of Magdala did not recognize him at first. Then there was the story of the Road to Emmaus, with two disciples chatting with him the entire time and not knowing till the last minute. Even Peter and the other disciples did not recognize him while at the shore. His 'identity' had to be 'revealed'. I wonder why this power to assume 'many faces'.

At a very superficial level, perhaps this was to keep him from being discovered by the Jews and taken into custody again. But that speaks of cowardice, and that is not how I know Jesus. Googling this, I encounter this thought: Perhaps Jesus “veiled” His identity so the two disciples would truly think through the things Jesus was saying, rather than accepting the teaching blindly, as they likely would have if they had known it was Jesus.

This explanation appeals to me. And it is consistent with the way Jesus also delivers his messages, i.e. in parables. I have come to believe that our Christian life is meant to be lived in constant reflection of His Word. Just like having many faces that have to be 'peeled off' to reveal the true identity, His Words need to be read and re-read, reviewed and reflected to discover the rich layers of meaning and interpretation. I believe that is how He has designed it to be.

Unfortunately, the many possible interpretations of His Words and His Life would lead to conflicting translations even among the learned. We know of the way some devout Christians interpret His Words to sow even more divisiveness and even hatred. Did He intend this to happen, too?

Reflecting on yesterday's Gospel, it may seem so:

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth?
No, I tell you, but rather division. "

Our differing interpretations can, and will, lead to conflict if we become stuck in just one interpretation and label everything else as false or illogical. Part of my learning here now is that my interpretation can never be the ONLY interpretation of His Words. His Words have many layers, as he can assume many faces. I become argumentative and combative if I hold on to my interpretation and assume it as law. And I use it to justify hate and divisiveness. All of us are students of His Word and His Life. Yes, some may have spent more of their lives in deep study. But even they will not have the monopoly of interpretation. It is in humbly recognizing that 'The Life' of a Christian, is a Journey or 'The Way' of learning the 'The Truth' do I stop myself from being 'holier than thou' and imposing my interpretation on others. We will remain divided, as Jesus predicts, if we choose to hold on too tightly to our interpretations rather than allow ourselves to listen and learn from each other.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad