Zemana Zanta za Zambales

 It’s my first time to experience Holy Week in the beach house. I arrived yesterday and will be here till Black Saturday. 

I truly deserve this break, exactly a month after I took on the new role officially. it’s been a toxic one month, something I failed to anticipate when I ‘accepted’ this new challenge in Nov last year. (Not that I really had a choice. Lol)

I struggled with making sense of the work schedule. For someone who got used to a 9pm to 5am sleep schedule, the late-night meetings and activities just threw me off. I oscillated between accepting my fate and wanting to challenge the status quo.  Thankfully, I was able to get some respite from the schedule partly after having an expectations-alignment with my bosses. But best of all, they listened to me, even as they gave me clear rationale for the kind of work I was expected to do. 

I really believe that was Divine Intervention at work. As I was struggling on a day-to-day basis, I kept on praying for guidance, for strength and for wisdom. The Lord truly intervened for me, His way of telling me that this is part of His plan. 

Going into Holy Week, I am blessed with a clearer purpose and a lighter load, only because I ‘came to Him whose load is easy and whose burden is light.’

I’m taking the time to finish up on Maria Ressa’s book, maybe stream a movie or two, write some posts and just relax and chill in the summer weather of Zambales.

A meaningful Holy Week to you all!

Another New Year’s Day

 Truth is that today is just like any other day. 

Truth is…

… that there will be many surprises to come, a lot you didn’t anticipate or plan for

… that there will still be failures

… that there will still be broken hearts, or angry, unforgiving hearts

Just like any other day

The only thing that can change is you, how you view all that will come your way, despite your best plans and intentions

If for every New Year’s Day, you become just a bit less of your old self in however you react. And more of a new one - a bit calmer, a bit steadier, a bit more open, a bit more accepting, a bit more loving. 

Then every New Year’s Day becomes a special day like no other.

2022: Another Shemitah Year

 I lost Nanay and became an ulilang lubos. My prex/vp candidates lost in the elections, a first for me to be all out in support and campaigning. 

I will be leaving this role for a new one next year. After only 3 years with my crew, I will bid them adieu and take on a new challenge in the company.

I was diagnosed with this esophageal condition at risk of becoming a neoplasm. I have to severely change my eating habits, including minimizing caffeine and alcohol. This is on top of hypertension, and a heart condition that may lead to a stroke. Of course, the plethora of maintenance medicines I have started to take to manage all my conditions. Sakit-sakitan portion as my friend would put it. I am having difficulty limiting alcohol (a bit more successful with limiting caffeine). So I dread the outcome of 2023’s executive check-up.

And that led to my struggle to lose weight. I can’t do intermittent fasting anymore.  But toward Q4, I was able to muster the discipline to stick to a diet and exercise regimen. I shed off unwanted weight and fat going into the holiday season.  I have finally signed up personal trainer for home gym. Of course I am putting some back due to Holiday Eating. But I feel more confident that I know how to lose this again.

I have begun serving at Mass again, extending my support to elderly women and the community that cares for them. I heard confession again after more than a decade. But I quickly slipped back. Old habits die hard. I give myself a pat on the back for being to hear confession again.

Aside from that, no major personal project accomplished. Just some improvements like installing solar panels at the beach property. I am still thinking what would  projects for 2023. Daddy Love Season 2? Maybe.  Or maybe finally work on the residence here in the metro, repairs and improvements.

I’m ending the year with a good starting point for savings. The condo is being rented out now. The beach property is also open and has been receiving guests. These are still far from target revenue levels post-employment. But I am pleased.

This really was a reset kind of year for me. I am excited and anxious for what lies ahead.  A blessed 2023 to all.

More random thoughts over a long weekend

Taking a breather from a toxic work schedule. Glad to have filed leaves for a long 4-day weekend. Back in the tiny beach house. Also to supervise some ongoing improvements. 

Weight Reduction achieved

Just a few posts back I was getting despondent. I couldn’t seem to find the will to get back on track. And I was 13lbs over my ideal weight. But with God’s help, I managed to achieve that again. It was a challenge as my health has changed much, with that esophagus problem. But I had to go back to basics - calorie counting for starters, and trying to balance out the little calories to include breakfast (no more IF for me). And working out, walk-jogging. Happy that in 2 months and a half, I did it. But it’s not for everybody. The sacrifice will not be worth it for many. The goal now is to build some mass, just to tone the body better. So I have hired a personal trainer to help me work out at home.

New work challenge coming

Last week, my boss brought me the news. I am being transferred to another group within the organization. Another move barely 3 yrs into this current role. I wanted to retire in this current role, with just 3 yrs to go. I told my boss to ‘resist’ any attempts to move me. LOL. And he did. He did argue to keep me where I am. But the prex had other plans for me. 

It’s not a promotion. It’s a lateral move that provides better opportunities for upward mobility. But with just 3yrs left, I am not holding my breath. It is back to my first love, marketing. So I am looking forward to the new challenges. Not as eager to do adjustments again as that group has a totally different culture from where I was. 

But one thing I did that made me proud. I came out to my future bosses. I had to make sure that they know whom they’re taking in. No surprises. Their response: no issue at all.

Resort is Open

Last October, this resort was officially opened for rentals. I was able to find a booking/reservations firm to manage just that, and list the property in their own site as well as AirBnB, Agoda, etc.  The deal covers the two kubo cottages that can accommodate 3 to 4 people each. Container tiny house is not included. But guests have exclusive use of the entire place (including the pool). 

It has been doing well. I have guests most weekends. And I have to block off those dates I want to use it for myself (like this weekend). 

I have to admit that I had some sepanx at the start. Haha. It was like letting go of a prized possession. Feeling that suddenly, it is no longer mine. But the feeling passed, especially when the revenues started coming in. LOL

Friendships

At this age you realize you don’t like certain people. Some of them are even ‘friends’. You hang out with them as part of a barkada. You have made connections through school, office, common interests or what-have-you. Moments together could be hilarious, fun. 

At first, it would seem that this should be your attitude towards the entire barkada. After all, you do have a lot in common. So you automatically like them all and include them as your friends. 

But as years pass, you realize that you don’t feel the same way for each of them. Some of them you still genuinely like. For you, they are really nice people. They mean well. They are fun to be with. There is mutual respect. You like spending time with them.

Some others you are just ambivalent. Your paths don’t really cross that often. And there is nothing in their demeanor that would make you want to be closer to them. Though nothing in them annoys you. So that relationship is status quo.

But some you end up admitting that you don’t really like them. You find them annoying. They bring negative vibes to you. But they continue to be part of the group. And it becomes a take-it-all or leave entirely. Leaving is not entirely attractive either. Exit barriers. LOL. The nice ones are worth keeping as friends. 

It’s a lazy, cloudy Saturday afternoon at the beach. 

Here We Go Again

 

Ugh. Na-covid ulit. Swerte nga naman. That’s not me on the pic. That’s household help in full PPE as she cleans my bed and bath area. 

It is Day 4, since symptoms appeared. Mild sore throat. Some nasal congestion. Maybe that ‘lalagnatin’ feeling but no actual fever, based on temp reading. But because another household member came down with it 2 days earlier, I sort of felt that I was in for Round 2 of Covid. But this time, with symptoms.

Day 2 when symptoms blossomed! Sore, itchy throat. Runny nose. Coughing in an attempt to get that sticky phlegm out. Body aches. Still no fever but that feverish feeling, on and off. I used the rapid antigen test. And it came out positive. Don’t want to play the blame game anymore, like the first time. If I’m gonna get, I’m gonna get it. Just deal with it. 

Consulted the doctor. Got the meds prescribed. But still did work from home. Couldn’t cancel the meetings. Until Day 3, I was still ‘reporting for work’ with more meetings. Sigh. That’s what this pandemic uncovered. That you can actually do work from home even if you’re just a bit sick. Day 3 was slightly better though nose was still clogged. No more sore throat but the occasional cough became dry and painful. Still no fever.

I finally filed for Sick Leave today. I knew I had to fully rest this to heal faster. And besides, the only meeting today was a face-to-face one, which I couldn’t attend anyway. I took it really easy today. Even got some early morning sunning to help fight the virus. I’m feeling much, much better. Nasal congestion a lot less. Less coughing fits. No feverish feeling.

It feels like trankaso. I didn’t even have fever. Is this what they mean when they were downgrading this to ‘endemic’ levels? Lol

In many ways, I should be thankful. I got my 2nd booster early part of this month. I don’t have much activities this week till next. So this is a good time to actually slow down a bit. I still have a few days of isolation to go. Let’s hope it doesn’t get worse and only improves from here on. 

Random lang. These could have been tweets.

 I haven’t posted in a while. In this gloomy 1st Saturday of September, suddenly the urge to write random stuff. 

Been feeling shitty lately. I’m overweight, probably gained 2 inches of fat around the waistline. I look horrible. Can’t seem to get back on track. My self discipline disappeared for months. I rationalize that all the events of the past months: my mom’s death, the findings related to my esophagus, even my heart, have conspired to keep me from sticking to a diet and exercise plan. I used to be able to muster the will to begin a diet that works. I am finding it so hard now. There is always an excuse to eat sweets, more red meat (which, for me, are the main items to avoid). 

Typhoon Henry spared us but it brought the gloom. I am still happy it didn’t happen last weekend. Though there were still rainy afternoons over the long weekend, there was enough sun in the morning to enjoy the beach at the rest house with my siblings and our partners. I felt really great being able to host that and bond with them. And I managed to do some writing last weekend.

I was doing revisions on the season 2 of Daddy Love. Yes, I do have a season 2 planned. But still on  the fence of  getting it produced. It will cost much more than season 1, with all the elements I included. Hahaha Couldn’t help myself! I wanted to layer in some more themes. So it is still up in the air how that project will come to life.

Projects. I realized I like having personal projects despite the load at work. I become energized just planning and implementing, albeit slowly. And I continue to be very grateful for having enough resources to accomplish them. 

Libido is at an ebb lately. That is a good thing.  A few weeks back, my hormones were crazy. And sluttiness overdrive as well. I relate that to my low self-esteem and the need for affirmation. Glad that is over. G app put to sleep for now.

That’s all, as Miranda Priestly would put it. Yun lang. (doesn’t translate well? LOL)