Ghost Month 2026 Starts

It’s been more than a week of almost non-stop rains.  Is this Nature’s way of ushering in Ghost Month 2026? That officially starts today as the lunar cycle begins. 

I wasn’t always as superstitious. Come to think of it, we had no idea of Ghost month growing up.  It started showing up in our collective consciousness probably only around 15 years back. 

Eventually, it became a ‘thing’ to be aware of it. Don’t start big projects. No major purchases. Don't travel! I became acutely aware of this especially around 2019, when I traveled to Zambales during Ghost Month. And one of the tires blew out. I started to believe since.

I even light up incense sticks every day for the whole month. And yes, I avoid signing contracts and purchasing big-ticket items, and even major travel. Better safe than sorry as they say. 

But as a Catholic, I am not sure I should be 'observing' Ghost Month.

I recently organized a 'prayer huddle', actually an online prayer meet with a couple of other gay Catholic men. It is the first 'meet-up' of an FB group I started years back: Pray Like Us (PLU for short, gets? hehe)  The vision is that this group becomes a safe space for gay Catholic men seeking to deepen their faith and spirituality. Now that I have the time, I decided to pursue setting this up, especially after meeting a Catholic Priest who was willing to be our Spiritual director. 

The first meeting was last August 10. For discussion, I suggested the topic Superstition and Catholic faith, also borne out of the August 9 Gospel reading (the disciples thought they were seeing a ghost when they saw Jesus walking on water towards them). 

My key take-away after the one-hour huddle: I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss 'superstition' as anti-faith. Superstition is deeply rooted in culture. And perhaps, Catholic faith interweaves itself into culture, including superstition, if only to make it more accessible to people. The better question would be: whether these beliefs, these traditions allow me to be closer to people, and to God. The greater 'sin' would be blindly following these at the expense of my relationship with God and His people. 

Hence, I don't think it would be any mortal sin to continue to be aware of 'Ghost Month', and to be cautious and careful. If any, I pray harder knowing that Jesus is greater than any ghost or misfortune. I can even pay (pray?) it forward by doing acts of charity.  So maybe it's not so bad.  

And the Lord won't mind. :-)

Chronicles of Retired CC: Happy Pride 2026

 It has been 3 months since official retirement.  And I am now enjoying owning my time! I make my schedules for the week. And I can also change my plans. I can afford to be spontaneous!

I still sleep and wake up early. I have been able to do my workout routines almost religiously. So I have shed some of that flabby weight. Still far from the goal but getting there. And happy about the journey.

I lay out tasks to accomplish, errands to run. A lot of these are retirement-related: SSS, Pag-ibig claims. Some are related to income streams:  conducting training, coming up with training proposals, managing the properties for rent. Some are plain creative pursuits: creating content (like this blogpost hehe). And finally, entertainment: catching up on social media, videos streaming, massage! HAHA

My initial anxieties have melted away, mainly as these have been addressed. I am so grateful for that.  Retirement may really be the best part. Or should I actually say “papunta pa lang tayo sa exciting part”?

And since it is Pride Week, I also can’t help but feel nostalgic about being gay for the past decades. 

I have been through a lot when it comes to being gay: the bullying in elementary and high school, the hiding during the first year in college, then ‘blossoming’ ala Maxie in the years after. Then going back in the closet as I started my corporate life, a closet that became transparent towards the end of my career. 

And that ran in parallel to my dating life: the romance and the relationships, and the sex, of course! Some regrettable, charged to experience. But there would be the highs: the mind-blowing sex, the furtive but fulfilling chance encounters, the transcendent intimacy with those you truly love.  Hahaha so much has happened…

I look back and tell myself that I didn’t do so bad. I guess I played my cards right? But I really still feel Divine providence saving me a lot of the time. So it’s not just my pure effort. 

I am proud to be gay. I wouldn’t be where I am now if I wasn’t. 

But beyond being proud, I am happy being gay. It certainly is gay to be gay.

Last Sunday’s Doubting Tomas

Late post. I didn’t get around to posting this last week. 

Last Sunday was Divine Mercy Sunday. And the Gospel was about the Doubting Didymus, or Thomas. Those two themes resonated deeply in my retired heart.

I had anxieties going into retirement (which I posted previously).  A lot of it stemmed from financial security issues, aware that a regular inflow of resources would suddenly be halted. Though I have saved some, invested some for some future cashflows, I still felt that these weren’t going to be nearly enough. I had lots and lots of doubt.

But hearing what Jesus said to Thomas (incidentally my namesake) “Blessed are those who have not seen, yet believed,” I felt that He was telling me that as well. He was assuring me that even if I have not seen the evidence of financial security, I should believe that He will provide.

Then I thought of the Divine Mercy, and realized that the prayer ends with “Jesus, I trust in You.”

I really doubted Jesus. I really felt I was going to be all alone to handle all this uncertainty. And last Sunday reminded me to believe, to have faith… to trust Him, as I should have at the start.

I felt this great weight lifted from my sagging shoulders. And I continued to pray for more faith, more trust and not be the Doubting Tomas any longer.

Officially Senior and Retired

I just realized this is my first post for 2026! I got caught up in the winding down of my work and planning for my big 6-0 bash last February.  But all that came to pass now. And I am officially a Senior Citizen, Retired corporate slave as well!

It’s April 5, Easter Sunday, Pasko ng Muling Pagkabuhay! 

And that’s exactly how I feel - newly resurrected! Alive again, beginning a new chapter of my life. I turned 60 end-Feb and threw this big party! Just because… HAHAHA All that in another post. But truly my corporate life ended last March 26, Thursday, as I said goodbye to the office of 9.5 years. I flew to Taipei the day after, and stayed there till March 31, alone! So I don’t really consider that as start of my retirement.

Then it was Holy Week in Manila until today. And I decided that I was going to travel to the beach house this afternoon (against the tide of the travelers returning to Manila!). And true enough, there was this huge traffic on the opposite side of the road, especially going into SBMA. It took me just 3hrs and 20mins to get here, a new record! 

I got here in time to enjoy the perfect sunset, the fitting “Welcome to Retirement, CC!” Banner.

I’ll have more time to write about this new chapter of my life. I am excited as I still feel young. And there is still so much more to do and experience! 

Pride 2025

Parang ang daming ganap sa bayan, sa mundo. Impeachment. Middle East war. Pero syempre, react tayo sa mga latest achuchuchu nila Mama Renee and Mother Ricky Reyes. They are vehemently opposed to same-sex marriage (though dapat civil unions). Pagdating sa pag-aari, pag-usapan na lang daw. (Sa palagay mo, ganon kadali pag-usapang ang ganyan??) Para sa straight naman raw talaga ang kasal.

I grew up with them as prominent gay celebrities, out in the open, practicing their crafts so stereotypically labeled as gay. I didn’t look up to them. They were not role models for me. But somehow, they managed to give visibility to being gay, both positively and negatively. I must say that they are survivors, and even thrivers, for like it or not, they have the financial capability and stability most everyone wants. So I have to give that to them. Considering how harsh the environment was when they were just starting, they made it. 

I am disheartened by their stand but not surprised. A large part of surviving in a very homophobic Metro Manila in those times was to be compliant to the ‘acceptable norms’ of being a deviation, a "deviant". That meant sticking to those careers and all the stereotypes (the comic relief, the clown), not rocking the boat or challenging the powers that be (including the Catholic Church). Just stay in your little corner and you’ll be allowed to survive and even thrive. Decades and decades of these and you internalize those values very strongly. Yes, internalized homophobia. 

I wish they weren't given a platform. But in this day of clickbaiting and content, that kind of POV was exactly what those who produced wanted. Maybe it serves the purpose of bringing internalized homophobia out in the open. Calling it out. Discussing the counter-arguments. Yeah, the "benefits" of democracy. 

 

I hope their statements become irrelevant (though I know this will be fodder for anti-LGBT activitists). But I do know that in ADHD world, another one will serve as "tea" very soon. 

 

I am proud to be gay. I am no longer in the corporate closet. And like them, I have reached a certain level of stability and comfort. Coming out is no longer an issue for me. But I do know that it still is an issue to many, many people out there. And my heart goes out to each and every soul, struggling with this, looking for safe spaces. 

We just watch "Delia D", the musical starring Phi Palmos yesterday. I had loads of fun! Just made me think that even if it was a story of a drag queen who enters a reality talent show, it touched on "coming out", of being authentic when you realized how much of you is actually a farce. I still have that "impostor syndrome", even at work. And you catch yourself thinking exactly that as you go through the motions. I am glad to be retiring soon. I'll have less of those. 

 

The call to be authentic is a sound you will hear lifelong. Like an onion, every layer you peel off reveals another. Maybe your SOGIE is just the first part. But it won't be the last. Don't beat yourself up for it. Everytime your 'aware' self sounds a bell to be more real and true, you have just grown up again. And that is a reason to celebrate. 

Happy Pride!

Body Dysmorphia 2025 edition

At the close of 2024, I was loathing how my body remains as undesirable as when I started the year.  And to think, the work circumstance that I have blamed as the sole reason for this figure changed around early July. All the reasons for stress eating disappeared with the new role. 

I did make some progress from that time till October. I lost 4 pounds. But November personal activities and the December Holiday bingeing put brakes on all that. And I quickly gained back what I lost. 

So I am back where I started, back to making resolutions for 2025. 

But I am putting my money where my mouth is. I am investing in fitness with this elliptical machine purchase. And maybe, just maybe, I can sustain the caloric deficit needed to get rid of the belly and other unwanted fat. Why an elliptical machine? My knees and other joints can't take the impact of running anymore. As much as I enjoyed running outdoors previously, I couldn't do this anymore without hurting myself (and suffering for days). I just do walking nowadays. But I can't sustain the brisk walking needed to bring my heart rate up.  

Oh and did I mention that I have osteoporosis? A little slip from running can lead to a bone fracture. 

I just want to feel good about myself again by fitting into my old clothes… or by not seeing and feeling this Buddha belly.  Here is my nth attempt. Sigh.