Thursday, June 27, 2013

Malate memories Parts 2 & 3

And just to wrap things up, here are the rest of the fabcasts talking about Malate and what it meant to us.

Malate Fabcast 2







Music credits:
“We Are Young” by Fun. (feat. Janelle MonĂ¡e)
“Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix)” by Los del Rio
“Aikea-Guinea” by Cocteau Twins
“God Moving Over The Face Of The Waters” by Moby
“Oops I Did It Again” by Britney Spears
“Home” by David Byrne and Brian Eno
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Malate Fabcast 3








Music credits:
“Let’s Have A Kiki” by Scissor Sisters
“Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad” by Moby
“Old Souls” & “Time” (from the Inception OST) by Hans Zimmer
“Starships” by Nicki Minaj
“Last Dance” by Donna Summer
“Love Tonight” by Kid Wolf

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Lucas Chronicles: Joey at Dante 1



“How is the project with Dante going?” tanong sa kanya ni Claude.  







“We are like halfway through, Boss.  Inapprove na ni Sir Dante yung basic layout at themes.  Yung functionalities na hinahanap niya ang ginagawa ng team ngayon.” sagot ni Lucas.  





“Great.  Make him happy.” 





“Yes, Sir.”





Napangiti si Lucas sa utos ni Boss Claude.  ‘Make him happy.’  Matagal na niyang nagawa yun.  Bata pa siya.  Natawa na siya.  Hanggang ngayon, wala pa siyang sinasabihan tungkol sa pangyayari yun.  Kahit na si Joey.  Alam niyang hindi maiintindihan ni Joey.  At pagseselosan na naman.  





Pinuntahan niya ang web design team upang tignan ang progreso ng proyekto.  Mukhang nahihirapan sila at kailangan humingi ng extension.  Kinabahan siya.  Pinangakuan pa naman niya si Sir Dante.  Naglakas-loob siya at tumawag.  Bigla niyang naalala ang kabilin-bilinan ni Claude.  “Make him happy.”  Mukhang fail ata ngayon.





“Sir Dante?  Eto po si Lucas.”





“Oh Lucas.  What’s up?”





“Sir, nahiya ako pero I need to update you on the project.”





“What about it?”





“Sir, we hit a snag.  Baka hindi namin maabot ang commitment ko next week.”





Tumahimik sa kabilang linya.





“What happened?”





“I’m not sure.  Hindi ko po ma-explain ng mabuti.  Technical kasi.”





“Lucas, what’s your use if you can’t explain it to me.” Napahiya si Lucas.  Parang sinampal.  Galit si Sir Dante.





“It has something to do with the connection with your banks, Sir.  Dun sa online payment.”





“Diyos ko!  Kay rami-rami ng mga website ang online.  Hindi niyo pa makaya!”





“Sir, sorry po.  I think their server is having a problem accepting the protocols.”





“Look, Lucas.  The merchandise is ready for sale.  I’ve ramped up production for this.”





“Yes, Sir.  I understand po.  We are trying our best.”





“I don’t need your best.  I need that website up and running as scheduled.”





“Yes, Sir.”








Inapura niya ang design team.  Kailangan maayos ang problema sa connection bago matapos ang linggo.  Walang atrasan.  Lahat ng trabaho nila malilintikan.  Magdamagan ang OT.  Kahit hindi siya technical guy ay nakisama siya sa kanila.  Hanggang gabi. 





“Luc!  Ilang gabi pa ba yan na diyan ka na uumagahin?” pasigaw na tanong ni Joey sa kanya.





“Babe, I can’t leave the team.  Sama-sama kami.”





“Babe, I’m IT, too, you know.  Wala ka namang alam diyan.  Hindi ko naman maintindihan kung bakit ka nakikisali sa kanila!”





“I just want to support them.  I know they appreciate it.  Kaya nga bumibilis ang trabaho nila.”


“Bullshit.  Pag nalaman kong kataranduhan pala yan, malalagot ka sa akin.”





“Do you want to talk to Edwin?  to Rocky?  Ha?  Gusto mong sila magsabi sa iyo?” uminit na rin ang ulo niya.  Walang suportang nakukuha mula kay Joey.  Puro na lang away at selos.  





“No.” tumahimik ng sandali. “Babe, hindi na tayo nagkikita.”





“I know.  Don’t you think I know that?  Pucha, kung pwede ko lang iwan to! “  





Hindi na umimik si Joey.  “I’ll be home by 1130pm.  Don’t wait up.” at binaba niya ang telepono.





Ka-simple-simpleng bagay, hindi maintindihan.  Puro kasi selos at insecurity.  Wala naman dapat pagselosan.  Kahit si Boss Claude, pinagsuspetyahan na.  Puro away na lang sila.  








Nung Biyernes, mukha namang napagana na nila.  Ngunit kailang pa rin ng sign-off mula sa kliyente. Kaso 7pm na.  Papayag pa kaya si Sir Dante na puntahan siya?





“Hello, Sir Dante?  This is Lucas po.”





“Hello Lucas.  It’s almost dinner.”





“Yes, Sir.  Sorry to disturb you po.  I just need you to sign off on the agreements with the bank.  Para umaandar na.  Pwede ba kayong puntahan?”





“Ok.  I’m on my way home.  Sa condo mo na lang ako puntahan.”





“Yes, Sir.”





“Alam mo ba kung saan?”





“Yes, Sir.  Legaspi Village po.  I’ll be bringing the documents para maibigay ko po bukas sa team.”





“Ok.  I’ll see you.”





Nagmamadali si Lucas.  Ang balak niya ay mai-drop off lang ang documento, mapirmahan at papunta na siya sa lakad nila ni Joey sa Pasig.  May blow-out ang isang barkada ni Joey at isinama siya.  





Natagalan siyang kumuha ng taxi.  Palibhasa, Biyernes ng gabi.  Nagtext siya kay Joey.





“Babe, wil b l8. Sumting came up.”





Biglang nag-ring na ang cellphone.  Si Joey ang tumatawag.





“Tang-ina!  Something na naman?” bulyaw ni Joey sa telepono.





“Calm down, Babe!  Look, I just need to run one more errand.”





“Pucha naman, Babe.  Biyernes na ng gabi!”





“Babe, binibilisan ko na nga.  Kaso hindi pa ako makakuha ng taxi.”





“Kung 830pm wala ka pa sa gimmick, wag ka ng magpunta!” sabay pagsara ng telepono.





‘Shit.  Fucking shit.‘  Nanggigil siya kay Joey.  ‘Kahit kailan hindi naging supportive.   Fuck him.’  At sa kamalas-malasan ay umulan pa habang naghinhintay siya.  ‘Fuck talaga!’  Basang-basa na siya dahil ni jacket, hindi siya nakapagdala.  Tinago na lang niya ang papeles sa loob ng shirt niya upang hindi mabasa.





Nakaraan ang trenta minutos bago siya nakakuha ng taxi.  At dahil sa traffic, alas-9 na siya nakarating sa condo ni Sir Dante.  Ngunit sinisigurado naman niyang updated si Dante sa lagay niya.  Salamat na lang sa Diyos at walang lakad si Sir.





Nagtatakbo siya papunta sa condo.  At hinihingal pa siya ng pinagbuksan siya ni Dante.





“Oh, cool down.  Pasok ka na muna.  Basang-basa ka.”





“Sorry, Sir.  Sorry talaga.  The traffic was so bad.”





“I know.  Look, no need to apologize.  Tanggalin mo muna yung shirt mo.  Magkakasakit ka diyan.”





“Ok lang, Sir.  Sandali lang po ako.  I just need you to sign on this.”





“Are you crazy?  Ang lakas pa ng ulan.  Wait lang, I’ll get a towel and a dry shirt.”





Nawala si Sir Dante.  Nilapag na niya ang dokumento sa mesa sa may hapag-kainan.  





“Here.  Nandun ang CR.”  Nagpalit siya ng shirt.  Tiniis na lang niya kahit basa pa rin ang pants niya.  Dumiretso siya sa mesa upang buksan ang dokumento.





Dun pa lang niya napansin ang magandang condo ni Sir Dante.  Minimalist rin tulad ng office niya.  At napansin niyang nakapambahay na rin siya.  Nakashorts at sando lang.  May hubog pa talaga ang katawan niya.  





Inalok siya ng wine na iniinum rin ni Dante.  “Here, have some.”





Hindi na rin siya nagprotesta.  Lumampas na siya sa 830pm deadline ni Joey.  Wala na siyang hinahabol na oras.  At galit pa rin siya.  Sa inis niya, in-off niya ang cellphone niya.





“Maupo ka na nga muna.  Wait, have you had dinner?”





“Wag na po, Sir.  May lakad pa naman ako.”





“Jesus!  Past 9pm na hindi ka pa nagdidinner.  Wait.”





“Sir, wag na.”





“Tumahimik ka.  Sandali lang eto.  Painit ko lang.  Lasagna lang.”





Ininum niya ang red wine.  Hindi man siya gaanong mahilig sa wine ngunit nagustuhan niya ang lasa at konting init na dulot nito sa kanyang katawan.  Ilang sandali lang ay lumabas na uli si Dante, may dalang paglalagyan na mukhang mainit sa pagkakahawak.  Pinaupo siya sa mesa at hinandaan ng plato at kubyertos.  





“Wag ka ng mahiya.  I cook a lot kaya I always have spare.”





Kahit gutom na gutom na siya, dahan-dahan pa rin ang pagnguya niya.  Ayaw naman niyang magmukhang patay-gutom.  Baka isumbong pa siya kay Boss Claude.  





Sinabayan siya ni Dante na kumakain naman ng mani.  





“Mag-isa ba kayo dito, Sir?” tanong niya.





“Minsan nandito ang mga pamangkin.  At yung yaya ko, bumibisita para maglinis.”





“Masarap ang lasagna.” kasabay ng isang mahiyaing ngiti.





“Gutom ka lang. Hahaha”





“Do you want more wine?”





“Ok po.”





“Stop the po. And the Sir.  It’s just Dante.”





“Haha.  Thanks, Dante... po.”





“Ano ba? Haha.” At nilagyan pa ng wine ang baso ni Lucas. 





“Oh, you’re done?”





“Yes, po.  ay... I mean, yup, Dante.  Salamat.  It’s really great.”





“Ok.  Let me just clean up. STay put.”





Hindi na kumilos si Lucas.  Naalala niya ang sabi ni boss.  “Make him happy.”





Lumipat sila ng pwesto.  Sa may sofa.  Nagpatugtog si Dante at naupo sa tabi niya sa sofa.  





“Basa pala ang pants mo!  Alisin mo muna yan.”





Nagulat si Lucas.  Natawang nangliliit.  “Uhmm.  Wala akong shorts.”





“Fine.  I’ll get you a pair of boxers.”  At umalis si Dante.





“Oh eto.  Magpalit ka para matuyo kahit konti ang pants.”





Nagpunta siya sa CR at nagpalit.  Lumabas at nandun pa rin sa sofa si Dante.  





Mauubos na nila ang wine.  Masarap na ang kuwentuhan tungkol sa negosyo ni Dante.  At sa mga pribadong paksa na rin.  Tulad ng relationships.





“Claude tells me you have a partner.” sabi ni Dante.





“Yeah.  More than a year pa lang.”





“Live-in kayo?”





“Yup. We started out as roommates.  At nauwi dun.”





“Romantic naman niyo.” 





Habang lumalim ang gabi, at nakaubos na sila ng dalawang bote ng wine.





“Sir Dante, I mean, Dante, I want to confirm with you something.”





“Confirm?  What?”





“I think I’ve met you before.”





“Saan?  When?”





“It’s a long time ago.  I think 17 pa lang ako.”





“Oh God!  Seriously?”





“I can never forget what happened.”





“Naku, what did I do?”





“Nakilala kita sa isang bus.”





Napahalakhak si Dante ng malakas.  “Oh shit.  Did I molest you? Nakakahiya!”





Si Lucas ang nahiya. Hindi man siya naalala ni Dante.





“No.  Nag-usap lang tayo.” biglang nagsinungaling na lang si Lucas.





“Are you sure nag-usap lang tayo?  I was pretty wild in my younger years.”





“Yup.  Usap lang.  Na-intrigue lang ako sa iyo.”


“I don’t think I would pass up the chance to do it with you.”





Nagulat si Lucas sa sagot.  Natameme siya.  Slight lang.





“You’re very attractive, Lucas.  Hindi kita palalampasin.  Lalo na nung bata ka pa.  Hahaha”





Natawa na rin si Lucas.  “Siguro nga may nangyari.”





Lumapit pa si Dante sa kanya.  “Parang naalala ko ata.”  At tinitigan siya ni Dante.  Sa liwanag ng lamp sa tabi nakita niya uli ang nunal at ang mga mata ni Dante.  At naramdaman niyang palapit na ang kanyang mga labi.  





Hinalikan ni Dante si Lucas sa labi.  Bahagya lang.  Pinakiramdaman kung ano ang gagawin ni Lucas.  Lumayo at tinitigan uli si Lucas.





“Para ngang naalala ko yun.”





“Binobola mo ako.”





“Konti.”  At nilapit uli ang mga labi at dinampian ng halik si Lucas.  At tinuloy na hanggang maging torrid kissing na.  





Habang sila’y naghahalikan, bumalik sa ala-ala ni Lucas lahat ng mga nakaraan.  Ang tagal niyang hinintay na makita uli si Dante.  At ngayong hinahagkan na niya muli ay hindi siya makabitaw.  Nahihilo siya sa saya at sa sarap.





Tumigil sila ng sandali.  Tumayo si Dante.  “I’m getting water.  Do you want?”


“Sure.  Salamat.”





Nang bumalik siya, hinaplos niya ang mukha, ang bisig at kamay ni Lucas.  “I wish I can say I can remember that.  But I can’t.  But that doesn’t mean I am liking you less.”





Hindi umiimik si Lucas at nakatingin lang.  “Do you want to spend the night?”





“May partner ako.”





Napailing si Dante.  At napabuntong-hininga.  “Oo nga pala.  He’s waiting for you.”





“I really don’t know.  Naka-off ang cellphone ko.  Pero I think I have to go.”





“Sure.  Naintindihan ko.  Uhmm.  Where are the papers I need to sign?”





Parang natauhan sila pareho.  At bumalik muna sa negosyo ang usapan.  At ng napirmahan na ni Dante, nagpaaalam na magbihis muna uli si Lucas.





“Wag mo ng tanggalin ang shirt mo.  Keep it.  Basa pa ang suot mo kanina.  Maski yung shorts.  Iloob mo na lang.  Para hindi basa.”





Tumungo lang si Lucas.  May mabigat sa puso niya habang nagbibihis.  At nang matapos siya, bigla siyang lumapit kay Dante at hinalikan na naman siya, matagal at matindi.





At ng matapos, ibinulong niya “Ok lang na hindi mo maalala.  Pero ako, hindi ko makalimutan yun.  Kung alam mo lang ano ang naramdaman ko ng makita kita muli.”
“Stay with me.”





“Hindi puwede.  I need to go.  And masama sa negosyo, di ba?  Magagalit si Boss.”





“Hay.  Kilala ko Boss mo.  Hindi siya magagalit.”





“Magagalit si Joey.”





“Ahhh the partner. Yeah. “ at bumitaw sa pagkayakap si Dante.  





“Sige, go now.  Do you want me to ask the lobby guard to get you a cab?”





“Hindi na.  Ok lang.  Malapit naman ang Greenbelt.  At tumigil na rin ang ulan.”





“Ok.  Sige, ingat ka, Lucas.”  






“Bye, Sir.



Friday, June 21, 2013

Of Bullies and Victims


I watched two 'old' movies recently, Carrie and Mean Girls. The 1970's Brian de Palma classic I have wanted to watch if only to see the prom night scene. I never watched it before. But I have some recollection of my sister telling me about the frightening prom scene and even the way the mother dies. But when I finally wanted to watch it then, it was hard to come by.

Mean Girls didn't interest me until c3 mentioned this to me. And he would include references to the movie which he found hilarious or memorable. So I became curious. Watching both of them in sequence made me see a common theme around adolescent bullying. And I recounted my own experience with being bullied.

In a typical all-boys school from elementary to high school, I felt the repercussions of growing up "not like the normal boys." I had asthma, which prevented me from being into basketball and football. I tried but I ended up wheezing. I was wearing glasses by 3rd grade so that was another reason not to be in "rough activities." So I went the geeky, sissy route. And that made me fodder for taunts and teasings. "Bakla! Shoke! Bading!" some of the boys would regularly shout. Or worse "Huy, chupain mo ako!" This would be followed by a chorus of laughter. Humiliating.

I always had that fantasy of getting back at them. And that calls to mind now the mega-horrific way Carrie got back at all of them who bullied her. With just her mind. Carrie is the poster girl of victims that struck back!




But how could I? I was small and weak. So I just had to be smarter than them. So I could shame them in their ignorance and stupidity. (Of course I resented the straight guys who were also smart. Thank God there were few of them in my batch. LOL)

All that changed in 3rd year high, when the teasings lessened considerably. And we sissies started sticking together. As a group, we were a lot. And we could counter-intimidate! "Magpapachupa ka ang liit-liit ng titi mo!" Wahaha. But that rarely happened as we started to peacefully coexist.

Then the unthinkable happened. They started courting us to have relationships with them. Suddenly, it was "ok" to have a thing with one of us girls. And this caught on. The jocks, the officers, the cool dudes were after us. Though there were still a few naughty ones left who teased us. But they didn't matter anymore. We moved up the hierarchy.

We didn't become Mean Girls. But for one time in the life of our little boys school, we were the It crowd.




That is how things ended for us in high school. We have had our share of suitors and boyfriends. And straight or gay, we were all friends as we parted ways.

But the scars of having been bullied are still here. They may not be from physical violence. But they still hurt like hell. And when I read or hear of stories of being bullied, or even just made fun of, I react. And I reacted even more when a friend told me that he overheard another friend, a mother, saying that being bullied is part of school life. And kids grow up to be tougher because of it. Hello?!? How can one just 'accept' bullying as a 'rite of passage'? I wouldn't want to be her son! I couldn't ever wish being bullied for any one.

When I go to comedy bars, I laugh at the way those comics make fun of the audience. But I laugh not without guilt. For I feel for those out there being humiliated, the common person just like me being teased in front of an audience. Which is why I never became a regular in any one of them, I guess. But when those comedians make fun of celebrities, I laugh and laugh loud. No guilt. Hey, it's all fair game. You are a celebrity. It comes with the territory. It's like thinking that you can't bully a celebrity. He or she is already so much more than you and me. They have it all. So yes, they are all fair game. So I laughed as I watched the YouTube of Vice Ganda make fun of Jessica Soho's weight. And of Kris Aquino's accent. Etc. Etc. Etc.

But the celebrities themselves are crying out, especially with online bullying. Suddenly, they are exposing themselves as human. And it is unfair for them to be victims. Hmmmm.

Allow me to digress. I also laughed at the rape part of the joke. And I have laughed at other similar jokes or skits. I felt no guilt. Until someone told me how disturbed he was by my attitude. He reminded me of the horror of rape as a criminal act. We tried to discuss this. I traced my attitude to the "macho" (for lack of a better term) viewpoints where (1) Hey, it's just sex. Everybody enjoys sex. (2) Being a rape victim is confirmation of extreme sexual attractiveness. Guys couldn't restrain themselves. So I thought rape is acceptable as a comedy theme.

But he insisted that it is not. Rape is a violent crime, utterly degrading and dehumanizing. Some victims would even wish death rather than that experience. A rape joke is at least tasteless. At worse, it is almost complicity.

Finally, I read an editorial recently on the Inquirer, reprinting the statement of CComedia. And that chastised me further. I consider this learning as part of my growing gender sensitivity.

So back to bullying. I have been bullied. And I hated it. And it is not something I would wish for on anyone.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Malate Fabcast 1

The closure of Bed signalled the end of the reign of Malate as Pinoy gay mecca. Pr is there really such a thing? Your dear FabC's, with the Peanut Gallery composed mainly of their better halves, look back at the Malate and the evolution of the Pink In Place.

A disclaimer: I speak with some authority here, having lived a gay life longer than the others. But my recollections may be woefully inaccurate. Raiders, feel free to correct me or us as we all stroll down memory lane!





Music credits:

“Champagne Supernova” by Oasis

“September” by Earth, Wind, & Fire

“Just Got Lucky” by The JoBoxers

“Rico Mambo” by The Breakfast Club

“Unbelievable” by EMF

“Get Ready For This” by 2Unlimited