Tuesday, October 11, 2016


I have a few friends who share this masahe plus predilection with me. We usually prefer home service. We rely on referrals. We like the way a masahista would subtly 'put us in the mood' without being pushy or transactional. I love the term one uses: hina-harass. LOL We would refer masahistas from time to time.

One particular guy I recall was Lloyd.

He was lean and quite plain (hmm too plain actually). He gave a good massage, which was a base qualifier. But the best thing about him was the way he would get you aroused. As you lay on your belly, he would 'reach' over to caress your dick while he worked on your thighs. I really liked the way it made me feel like he truly wanted my cock. With something like that, no negotiations. You know you are gonna end up happy.

He would then flip you over and go down on that cock. I was curious if he would ever allow me to bottom him. He seemed the type. But I never asked nor attempted. I was pretty content with really good head.

The funny side story to this is that I referred him to another friend, a friend who is exceptionally well-endowed. As in huge. He booked Lloyd once. He was amazed at the way Lloyd devoured his huge member. On their second booking, Lloyd actually sat on that pole, without any prompting. Well, with the proper protection according to my friend.

I find it funny because I never heard from Lloyd after that. It was as if he found the 'ultimate client' in my friend (or specifically his cock) so much that any other client would just pale in comparison.

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Sunday, October 9, 2016


I tried different masseurs from Clique. One who lasted, well till last year, was Erwin. But before I talk about him, I briefly recall his cousin Joey. I remember him only because he was actually gwapo, tall and sexy. But unfortunately, he was very typical of a straight masahista. He would give you a massage but would try to hurry it up to the ES offer. And though I found him really hot, especially when he would strip to his undies before the massage, I just get totally turned off. So I never got to experience what his ES was. However, from a friend I referred him to, the feedback was not good. It wasn't such an endowment, and he was Laila Dee. (He just laid on the bed expecting the client to work on him.)

In contrast, Erwin was much more discrete. He was also obviously straight. He was attractive, too, though not at the same level as his cousin. He was shorter and leaner. But I liked his massage. And his 'Accidental' brushes against my member. Yet, despite seeing an erection, he didn't offer ES. That arrangement worked well for me especially when I started exclusively dating an ex. He became a regular that would extend for years. But I eventually grew tired of it. It also coincided with my new relationship that allowed for these 'transactional adventures'. Since I wasn't getting any from him, I quickly lost interest and ventured into other referrals.

Yet, he would still text and offer his services. After about a year of not availing, I decided to engage him in text Conversation to tell him why. I told him that my 'wish list' for masseurs now included es. Since he never offered, I dropped him. Obviously, I was really trying to find out if he would.

He quickly replied that he was always willing to offer it. But he read my body language as one of disinterest. And he respected that. But he insisted that I try him again so I would know what he had to offer.

Curious, I booked him again. Just like last time, his brushes against my penis got me excited. Then he started to finally stroke my cock. But he stopped to 'finish the massage first'. After the massage, he stripped to his undies and laid beside me. Then he got on top of me and started kissing me passionately. That got me excited. Soon, we were at it. But he didn't get down on me (which was a bummer). But the whole situation - waiting years for this to finally happen - still got me aroused, and the deed was consummated.

I would contact him from time to time. There would be times of 'no es', just straight massage (pun-intended). His es had ceased to excite me because he didn't give me head. But he gave good massage anyway so it continued.

Early this year, I was a wedding reception. I remembered that his day job was as waiter for this catering service. The was the catering service of this reception. I texted him whether he was there. Unfortunately, he was off-duty. It would have been nice to see him all dressed up. We were exchanging messages during the night. He texted a waiter who was there and told him to 'take good care of me'. And the waiter did. But what he texted after just infuriated me. It turned out that the message he sent actually said 'take good care of him for he will give you a huge tip.' It just pissed me off that this waiter would eventually be expecting a big tip. I was meaning to tip him anyway but I didn't like that Erwin had to 'prime' him.

I stopped booking him since that time. I just felt that I could get more from other masseurs out there.

Before we leave the Clique spa boys, I have to mention this one therapist who was briefly a regular. I just can't remember his name. He looked like a handsome college kid, probably one of the handsomest therapists I have encountered. He didn't offer ES to me but that was fine. He was just such eye candy. I heard his stint as a therapist was very brief. Sayang.

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Sunday, September 4, 2016


Ram was a referral from a friend for home service. He was quite plain-looking but he had a nice muscular build. He became a regular for a while because of the way we would lead into ES (which was really just a hand job).

I normally do not get an erection anymore from just stimulation of the erogenous zones (navel, top of the legs, etc.) I respond only to direct stimulation of the penis, head or shaft. Ram does that very discretely that it could be interpreted as accidental. But surely enough, if he sees a response, it proceeds to be hand job eventually.

I like that unpredictability, the excitement of not knowing what happens next. I like that he didn't even stop short to whisper "would you want extra service?" That question leads to negotiation. I just hate that. It just takes out all the excitement.

He lets me feel him up, too. But it wasn't very 'substantial' so that did not lead to him also getting off.

Soon enough, I grew tired of it, or of him. I stopped texting him for service. I was looking for someone more attractive and/or something more reciprocal. That led to a referral to Clique spa based in Marikina (Yes. Marikina!) with therapists who do home service. The first they sent was this twink, who was quite soft. I can't even remember his name.

But what I do remember about his technique was the way you he would reach over to play with your cock even as you were still on your belly. He would massage the inner thighs up to the anal area. Then his fingers would brush your manhood very erotically. The erection would get uncomfortable if you happen to have your penis in a different orientation.

Once you are on your back, it is one major blow job. The turn-off for me was when he would lead my hand to his cock. I had no interest in touching it all. So I would keep brushing his hand away. Bitin siguro.

But from Clique I got to hire some ok therapists. Coming up

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Sunday, August 21, 2016


Eh di kung sino ang unang nagkagusto.

In the old-fashioned world, straights would struggle to force-fit LGBT relationships into the neat and tidy dichotomies of Male, the hunter, and Female, the hunted. A lot of them fail to realize that the norms of dating have changed since the 60's.

A question like this would probably come from the Titas and Titos of Manila. They don't even realize that perhaps, their own sons and daughters, nephews and nieces have not been following those norms either.

But let me reply to this at a personal level.

I've always been the pursuer rather than the pursuee (?). I am predator not by choice but by circumstance.

In the gay world I grew up in, the beautiful ones, the gods of our age, were almost always the one being pursued. If you were such a beauty, all you had to do was show up in the dance club or the bar and the lesser mortals would be gravitating towards you.

I wanted to be one of them. I craved for the attention they got. But alas, my physical circumstances were not at that level. I have a buddy who was one: handsome, fair, tall.  We'd go to the clubs then and he'd get the stares and even the flirty chitchat. I realized then that my role was 'manliligaw' more than 'nililigawan'.

With that acceptance, I grew more confident and went after people I liked. It has worked for me immensely. I like that I have more 'control'. I also didn't take the situation as an excuse not to work on being a bit more attractive. On the contrary, I really worked on maximizing whatever potential I had. Even as the 'hunter', I had to make sure that the 'hunted' would willingly fall.

Looking back, it all seems so juvenile and immature. But those things got me started on my path towards physical fitness.

So yeah, ako ang nanliligaw. Pero kasi ako yung may gusto at ayokong maghintay lang.

Friday, August 19, 2016


The year and a half of being single about 6 years ago had me indulging in my masahe past time, both spas and home service. I would frequent this "legit" spa along Quezon Ave. usually after a Sunday afternoon run in UP. I call it 'legit' because that establishment explicitly bars their therapists from providing ES. And for the most part, the therapists do comply.

But still, their style of massage would always include a sensual groin or anal 'pass' or lingering touch. That would always excite me but leave me high and dry. Eventually, I encountered one who was 'creative' and courageous enough to provide an almost hand job. Sorry, I cannot describe it in words. Though still wanting, he was good looking enough for me to come back for seconds.

There was this spa near the airport, South Bay City Spa, which was also 'legit'. But their boys were a lot more 'non-compliant'. Even in common rooms, they manage to give their guests hand jobs. But if you get the exclusive treatment rooms, it becomes free-for-all.

I recall Jobert specifically. He was quite 'malambing' with a nice smile. There were even light kisses on your lips as he massaged your head. He was quite participatory, giving and receiving head to clients he likes. I liked that I felt he was attracted to me. That feeling always adds to the pleasure. And those kisses still linger in my mind.

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Monday, August 15, 2016

The Many-faced God

I'm a Game of Thrones fan. One of the side stories in the wildly popular series involves a mysterious cult led by this figure imbued with power to assume different faces. It seems that his followers eventually exhibit this power, too.

I am reminded of how Jesus himself seems to have this power to be unrecognizable. I get a glimpse of this from the Transfiguration. But after the Resurrection, it seems that this has become a 'regular' feature, starting with the way Mary of Magdala did not recognize him at first. Then there was the story of the Road to Emmaus, with two disciples chatting with him the entire time and not knowing till the last minute. Even Peter and the other disciples did not recognize him while at the shore. His 'identity' had to be 'revealed'. I wonder why this power to assume 'many faces'.

At a very superficial level, perhaps this was to keep him from being discovered by the Jews and taken into custody again. But that speaks of cowardice, and that is not how I know Jesus. Googling this, I encounter this thought: Perhaps Jesus “veiled” His identity so the two disciples would truly think through the things Jesus was saying, rather than accepting the teaching blindly, as they likely would have if they had known it was Jesus.

This explanation appeals to me. And it is consistent with the way Jesus also delivers his messages, i.e. in parables. I have come to believe that our Christian life is meant to be lived in constant reflection of His Word. Just like having many faces that have to be 'peeled off' to reveal the true identity, His Words need to be read and re-read, reviewed and reflected to discover the rich layers of meaning and interpretation. I believe that is how He has designed it to be.

Unfortunately, the many possible interpretations of His Words and His Life would lead to conflicting translations even among the learned. We know of the way some devout Christians interpret His Words to sow even more divisiveness and even hatred. Did He intend this to happen, too?

Reflecting on yesterday's Gospel, it may seem so:

"Do you think that I have come to establish peace on the earth?
No, I tell you, but rather division. "

Our differing interpretations can, and will, lead to conflict if we become stuck in just one interpretation and label everything else as false or illogical. Part of my learning here now is that my interpretation can never be the ONLY interpretation of His Words. His Words have many layers, as he can assume many faces. I become argumentative and combative if I hold on to my interpretation and assume it as law. And I use it to justify hate and divisiveness. All of us are students of His Word and His Life. Yes, some may have spent more of their lives in deep study. But even they will not have the monopoly of interpretation. It is in humbly recognizing that 'The Life' of a Christian, is a Journey or 'The Way' of learning the 'The Truth' do I stop myself from being 'holier than thou' and imposing my interpretation on others. We will remain divided, as Jesus predicts, if we choose to hold on too tightly to our interpretations rather than allow ourselves to listen and learn from each other.

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