a dear friend's dilemma:
she's advanced in age has shied away from regular check-ups, hospital-phobic. a fervent catholic. cheerful, sweet and just beautiful.
she discovered lumps in her breasts. tried to ignore but felt them anyway. she was finally convinced to have it checked. medical advice was surgical removal soonest.
with more people finding out about her condition, opinions start pouring in. both for and against the surgery. of course, the pro-camp is clearly medical and traditional (early detection, lower risks, etc). the anti-camp talks about alternative ways of healing, of faith intervening, of surgery complications.
she is leaning towards not having the operation. the costs, the anxiety, the depression after, the dread of knowing that it will be cancer. and the plethora of alternative ways of healing. ultimately, she sees it as a test of her faith. that Jesus will heal her.
what would you tell her?
26 comments:
For you who is currently suffering from this dilemma,
Just continue praying. However, if just in case things turned not your way do not think of the few things you did not get after praying, think of the countless beautiful things "HE" gave without you asking for it.
i think she should see the experts and if she has faith in Jesus everything will be okay
I'd tell her may God give her not just strength and courage to face the hurdles of her situation, but also more light to iluminate her in her days of suffering. I wouldn't convince her to take the practical route of saving her health through medicine, for it's her choice to invest her reliance on God. I'd respect whatever her decision is.
my sister was in the same situation last year...i didnt tell her anything how or what i felt that time...i thought it was not important...i just stood by her, accompanied her to the hospital, prayed with her, made myself strong for her...
"nasa diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa.."
I'd tell her "Nasa tao ang gawa, nasa Diyos ang awa."
I'd tell her to have a (Fine Needle Core/ FNAB) biopsy (not incisional). See an oncologist NOT an ONCO Surgeon.
Surgeons would (immediately) opt to have it incised/ excised, the best Onco specialists would determine first it's malignancy and see it's stage if it is. Medications are available whether neoadjuvant (pre op) or adjuvant (post op) or even purely meds.
If the biopsy turns out benign, I'd go for alternative meds. If it is malignant, let's hope it hasn't metastisized.
just my two cents.
ang ever lurking pakialamero:
- FBITC
several people have this dilemma but one thing they fail to do is to get all the facts first before they give INFORMED CONSENT
Is there an actual diagnosis already - is it malignant? - mean hard on paper diagnosis, usually after a biopsy. what stage? What are the success odds if she undergoes surgery? what are her odds if she doesn't?
... oh, she doesn't even know if it's cancer already... so if she doesn't have it diagnosed and goes the alternative route, would she stop worrying if she doesn't know what she has?
get all the facts first, then decide or then ask others to decide for her. but without even a diagnosis, worry might be what will cause all the trouble
Action speaks louder than words. Knock her cold with ativan then haul her ass off to the hospital. When she wakes up, she wouldn't even know what hit her.
Don't mind me, I'm overworked and needed a distraction. =)
My 0.02 (2 cents worth). She needs to get a second opinion from someone who is a professional. I know that it is comforting to talk to your family and friends about it - but just listening to their opinion without an actual professional prognosis is irresponsible.
i suggest her to resort to herbal medications... there are some cases that alternative medications are better compared to western medicine. i heard about some horror stories before with tumors and cancers removed surgically and eventually died. much better to take herbal medicines... check this site. www.greenbodytalk.com for more health details. maraming testimonials dyan..
It makes me mad when people use God as an excuse not to have surgical or medical treatment. I'm sure God work miracles through doctors too.
Pray and get the best oncologist she can find or afford. With the big C, she will need to be fast and aggresive. Make sure that the cancer is typed. The typing of cancer cells will determine the best Chemo that will kill the cancer cells. I pray and wish her all the best.
I would tell her that God tests us in so many ways but God also gives us the grace to over come the obstacles in our life.
She needs to discern first what God wants her to do. For all we know, God might be using the doctors and medical science to bless her with good health.
Pray. Discern. Look at the God's revelation in her surroundings and her friends.
I will include her in my prayers.
sometimes they dont need words. they tend to crave for physical presence, the feeling of being not alone.
Hi CC. It has been a week since I discovered your blog. Thumbs up to your blog. It's honest, well-written and something I can relate too. Regarding your friend's dilemma, I believe God is always ready to help her provided she is willing to help herself. Probably, she is still in the denial stage multiplied by the fact that she is hospital-phobic. I just hope she gets to accepts her condition and have the surgery as soon as possible before it advances and gets out of hand.
dear raider-friends. thank you so much for taking time out to express your thoughts about this dilemma. truly enlightening and thought-provoking. very heart-warming are the prayers you send.
Too many words from you people! I will tell her:
Get it out! That things is not supposed to be there!
God helps those who help themselves.
I may not be all that religious but I do know that fear isn't God's domain. Pray for courage to do what needs to be done.
The fact that she felt and found the lump early is providence. Does she want to waste God's gift of knowledge?
Oh diba? This coming from me....
If all else fails I would go with Joel's advice :P
A prayer for her. Simple but effective. =)
First have a fine needle biopsy to determine malignancy if it is then surgery is necessary to remove the cancer and to assess for the stage of the cancer and the kind of treatment post surgery. Time is of the essence here, the earlier the cancer is removed and treated the higher the five year survival rate is. I'm not speaking onlyfrom the standpoint of a healthcare professional
but also as someone who's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer twice over. Along with this is the deep and fervent prayer of healing and strenght. At this time she needs a very solid support group and a very strong desire to live longer and lead a meaningful and comfortable life with the family member rallying support for her.
the docs know best. i hope she gets well soon. i really do...
Faith alone will not heal her.
Advise her to do the surgery.
cc, maiba ako..
sino kavalentines mo?
:D
Hold her hand.
Tell her to have those removed by the doctor and for her post-surgery healing, try the natural way.
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