SATC season 2 episode 12: caste system
steve, the bartender, breaks up with miranda, the successful lawyer, due to very basic economic differences. charlotte talks about dating within your caste. cross-caste relationships rarely work. does this work for PLU's?
i would think that PLU's were more egalitarian. or horniness transcends such barriers.
a lawyer girlfriend of mine was telling me of an ex-boyfriend of hers. she eventually found out that he is PLU. but they have remained friends, very good friends. anyway, during one of their chikahan, ex-bf was telling her of the ultra-hot tricycle driver he met and eventually hooked up with. girlfriend tried to be blase about it. but she was freaking out to her other girlfriends. she couldnt believe that her ex-bf, a lawyer, too, could get attracted to a mere tricycle driver.
hmm. are women, or straights in general, more likely to limit dating or relationships to their caste/class?
i asked a straight guyfriend. he sort of confirmed that he and his buddies would probably, but unconsciously, follow the 'rule'. he remembered one of them who, sort of broke the rule and dated a shapely, pretty clerk. somehow, the barkada, as non-judgemental as they tried to be, just didnt take a liking to her. that was a pretty short relationship.
but i have gayfriends who dont mind at all. heck, i dont mind. at first glance, perhaps. i see a cute guy, blue collar, white collar, no collar - guy's cute PERIOD. could i have sex? SURE. could i have a relationship? i'd go for it even if we have wide income disparities. but would it last? i really dont know. my longest relationships were with guys in my bracket, my background.
yet again, i know of some long-lasting PLU relationships with very different backgrounds.
so, are PLU's really more egalitarian? what do you think?
29 comments:
We are sexitarians. lolz.
When I was growing up I was going out with a lot of people from all sorts of socio-economic backgrounds. Dates would consists of drinking beer in the garage to 8-course meals.
Did it matter much to me? Not really...they were just dates, it is not like I was going to breed with them. That is where the difference lies.
Straight couples breed *eeew* and they need to consider everything about their partner.
To be fair, when I was dating, although people that were of different backgrounds interested me, I did last longer with those of the same upbringing.
IMHO, gay men are less likely to discriminate because most of us grew up discriminated.
Egalitarianism is a belief that I think cannot be based solely on gender preference. it's a question of class. it's a question of culture. It's political. However, I do think that PLUs tend to be more tolerant than others. Maybe because we know how to feel shunned and "different". We tend to be more liberal in our thinking.
i know a lot of PLUs who rarely follow this rule for one reason: they don't freaking care what other people say. I have a friend who had a short-lived relationship with a taxi driver. I know someone who travels to the farthest ends of laguna just to hook up with the hot farmers on that side of town.
i think we're more open to a cross-caste relationship UNLESS the PLU is in the strict corporate world, trying to impress people and say 'I'm an accountant and my partner's a lawyer.' you know what I mean?
Cross-caste relationships do happen pero mostly underground. it's innate i think for all people to impress and not disappoint people around them.
I think there's so very few of us (as far as I know) that we look beyond petty differences. But certainly money does play a big issue down the road.
I for one believe that women are attracted more to power and money than looks. Power is such a powerful aphrodisiac for women. I don't think the same holds true with PLU's.
Hormones are really something. It's really sad (and it sounds like I'm putting us in a box), but I think it's true. Unfortunately, discrimination is not just a term, it's a trend.
great, great POVs, people! A shared sense of being an outcast in a Hetero world makes us see less of the differences.
I for one agree that caste system does happen even with us PLU's but not so often, I for one can't date someone below or above my social strata, I know most of you would disagree with but for me I want my partner to be on equal footing. I want us to be equal on almost every term Ü
just my 2 cents
ang pinag iisipan ko na episode ng sex and the city... what's sex got to do with it? - season 4 ep 4
can you have the sex and the relationship too?
anyway for me a common factor would be a play, which is basically caste system pre-requisute which are obviously skin deep, yung usual background, level, work etc etc
kung sex lang kung sex eh di season 1 episode 6 na yun - secret sex
:)
i suppose dating within the caste is best - there's shared experience that can form a deep bond.
onai! thanks for dropping by - secret sex: someone you dont want to be seen with as a date but enjoy f**kng! hehe
i think one must first clarify the intentions for the hook up. if the intention is just pure sex---tnen really---i know of straights who fuck outside their caste. but these are just purely sexual encounters--booty calls.
now if the intention is a relationship---i think caste really is just an incidental factor. remember that relationships are supposed to be more substantial---and should involve more factors beyond booty call. theres personalities---conversations---spending powers---level of sophistication---things that are usually attedant to castes. people who tend to have more things in common will tend to stick together. doesnt have to be a matter of caste ghowever. i know of some plu's whove managed to make it work---because despite differences in castes---there are other things that keep couples together.
When it comes to serious relationships, I believe this is a matter of emotions, what exactly you feel toward the person! Languages, economic status, academic backgrounds or any sort of classifications become less important. It is no longer an issue. However, if it’s purely carnal I would admit, what sort of class he is, as long as he makes me drools. Why not?! In this case, I could say PLUs are egalitarian. You are right! Our sexual appetite transcends that barrier.
But it is true, for those PLU’s who has achieved so much, it’s really difficult to find that elusive someone. It’s just like saying the more you have to offer, the more difficult it seems to find the person who is right for you. I think so, or I don’t think so. It’s a social norm, that we should settle with our equal.
In my case, hormonal tendencies certainly beat out the cross-caste stigma. When I was a young boy, I was in lust for: our macho houseboy, my father's caddies, macho construction workmen and so on. During HS, I even sucked off a guy who works in our cafeteria...
However, I believe that in the long term, we do look for people who we can communicate with in a different level. It may be a construction worker who listens to you and takes care of you or it could be a dashing young yuppie who has the same likes as you.
In my case, I prefer having LTRs with people in my own "caste" mostly because I find it hard to communicate (beyond sex) with the laboring classes (fine, I'm a bit of an elitist, but I really don't have anything to say to them!)However, that's for me. As is common with PLU's, hidden cross-caste relationships usually exist: Driver - Boss, Janitor - Boss, you name it, it probably happens... and over time, these relationships may metamorphose to something else entirely.
Cross-caste relationship rarely works. There's the answer, it works though rarely. That should be true for PLU as well, not because of egalitarianism.
Straight or gay, PLUs or not, our choices transend beyond status quo, beyond economic, and social background... if love strikes hard (putek and corny ko).
Seriously put, I have a doctor friend who married someone who wasn't even able to finish highschool, a former driver of some sort. But this can only happen if one party can willingly support the other void of any doubt and trusts that both can be strong for eachother amidst the persecution and endless gossips. And for the better half, to compliment what is lacking on his part. Do his share on the realtionship, even if it entails being the domesticated husband.
But generally, PLUs and straight alike, the most important facet that both side must agree on regardless of economic and social background are their moral values. What they belive on... in life, with relationships, etc. If you have this kind of understanding, things may well still work out for the best.
(But reality bites, nakakapagod din naman na ikaw nalang lagi ang nagbabayad, you can't sometimes stop the feeling of being used...)
Me and my hubby do not have much in common. Yet we stay together because we are complimentary. Nothing to do with social standing.
thanks, anonymous, whoever you are, i value your two cents worth of thoughts!
conquering q: your father's caddies? oooh. must have been a joy to go to the golf course everytime. thanks!
hey fratboy! been hearing about you! thanks for dropping by! question: could your moral values be formed or at least influenced by your social class? food for thought?
quent, does your complimentary relationship including some inequality in financial resources (one provides more than the other?)
@CC: Formed, influenced, but not necessarily dictate. Its kinda like assuming that all rich boys are brats and poor ones are the mature ones. What you've gone through in life, experiences, plays much in the equation, not how much you have in the bank.
on another note, been hearing about me? Just to disclose, I'm also heaven/ li'l heaven here in your blog. Just decided to stay with this name. Hope what you've been hearing are good stuffs... hehehe
Actually, although SATC was created by Candace Bushnell where she losely based the character of Carrie on herself, its regular episodes were largely, if not entirely written by gay guys perhaps based from experiences and what they learned from friends, homo and hetero, then they just transposed the genders to female to apply to Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha.
Is it no wonder a lot of the episodes apply to PLU's?
As far as the caste system is concerned, IMHO it doesn't matter if it's a quick lay. It does matter to a certain extent for relationships.
My one and only relationship with a guy mattered because we belonged to different social strata albeit only ever-so-slightly.(him being nouveau riche) That "ever-so-slightly" matters a lot when you're fighting with each other because he simply can not get your POV and doesn't even want to try because it is totally alien to him and can't relate at all.
Not to sound elitist here but I think it is easier for a down to earth person from the upper echelons to mingle with the lowers than for a refined lower echelon to mingle on top.
How can you relate to something you have no idea about?
Upper echelons who are down to earth can relate because they are surrounded by the lower in their household, that is, househelp, drivers, seamstresses, messengers, etc. and have an idea how their personal lives are.
On the lower strata, except of course if they are employed by someone wealthy and refined, they seldom interact with the upper social strata on a day to day basis.
Just my humble opinion of course, not meaninng to be judgmental. Peace. No bashing ok?
Egalitarian.. I was curious about the word so I decided to look into the Encarta Deictionary - maintaining, relating to, or based on a belief that all people are, in principle, equal and should enjoy equal social, political, and economic rights and opportunities. Very Interesting but do we PLU's really enjoy that? AS for my perofessional expereinces, As an Accountant, I have been descriminated but I always face the challenge and fortunately, I always win. for Mr! I guess when u believe on something and and u can reach nobody will stop u. Im here in kabul, Afghanistan - War Zone country fighting and earning and yet still experience descrimination. What I do, I just excel in my profession because I know that there are people who believe on PLU's.
I aggree with QuentinX's comment, I don't want to discriminate others because I know what it felt like to be discriminated.=(
just as u are enjoying each other company be true to your self, but if you are getting it as a relationship between you and him?then tell him to be a one way relationship.
im enjoying ALL YOUR COMMENTS, people!!! i dont think i could react to each and everyone! very valid points. some quite surprising (Mr Big) but entertaining nonetheless! fratboy, all good, all good. yes, someone told me you are lil heaven in previous comments! thanks people, thanks...
closet case:
lol! May I know which part was surprising to you?
mr big: surprised at your candor ("him being nouveau riche" &"can relate because they are surrounded by the lower...") lol. actually so true but it just feels so un-pc...hehe.
closet case:
lol.so sorry. yeah it does sound un-pc but there really is no pc way to put it.
since I was a child, the barrage and variety of househelp going in and out has been staggering. Some of them are children of my grandparents' help.
Occasionally, there are really the diligent hard-working ones but the norm are the lazy good for nothing's who haunt you every year, "namamasko" lang sir complete with their parasitical relatives you never met before.
I remember as a child, during a huge typhoon, we took in two entire families(6 or 7 children each,) for like it seemed like months. And they weren't helping out! I even played with these kids and they don't play by the rules but expect to win.
I have nothing against nouveau. I do have something against people talking about money (in great amounts) in public, using loud voices, and even grabbing these wads of money and slamming it on the table as a joke. That has happened not a few times in my presence in a public place such as a resto or hotel.
To them it's funny and secretly nagyayabang. But so nuvo!
Bottom line: I don't think anyone should be bragging about money whether they are old-riche or nouveau in a country like this when most people are in the poverty line. It just isn't right.
Changing the subject, that's why that joint in GB2 so offends me. Not only is the place pretentious, it has a pretentious name! Nuvo lol.
No bashing, k?
no bashing, mr big! promise! totally appreciate your POV. ive had better experiences with the household help. just lucky, i guess. some of them became a friend to me.
i agree: flaunting wealth is so tacky. speaks volumes about character.
thanks, mr big
hmnn, here we r talking about class, does it follow also about Straight acting PLUs not wanting to date effems??? just a QUEERy or perhaps a naive after thought...
that's cute, josh - QUEERy! hahaha. you might have something there. sometimes i get this feeling that straight acting PLU's feel they are in a more superior CASTE than the effems. and there are limited intercaste associations!
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