Sunday, March 25, 2018

MJM10: Repost - American Massage Story

cc: This was first posted Oct 27, 2015

I resolved to experience my first American M2M massage. A friend referred me to for a listing and for reviews. I chose this guy over the others because (a) his body was just right (b) I like his facial hair (c) he has 20+ reviews, all raving about him. I sent him SMS (yeah, international roaming). But up to that time I sent the message, I had to admit that I was unsure and apprehensive. What if he turns out to be a serial killer? Or at the very least, a thief? Or he doesn't even look half as good as his pics? A part of me was wishing he wouldn't reply.

But he did, after about an hour. He asked me to come over to his place. This wasn't unusual, based on that website. A lot of these masseurs use their private residences for "work". That explains the differential "in-calls" and "out-calls" rates for each of them. But for this guy, his "place" was actually the Hilton downtown. (mas soshal pa sa akin!) He is based in NY and just traveling, it turns out. We quickly finalized the day and time. In my head, a movie massacre scene was playing out.

I arrived 5 minutes late at the hotel lobby. Without asking how I looked, he simply messaged me to meet him at the elevator lobby. A few moments, the elevator opened and he peeped out to look for me.

He looked exactly as the photos on the site. One anxiety addressed. He looked like he came from the hotel gym in workout clothes. He was pleasant but not warm. He tried some chitchat. But methinks he was thrown off by this puny Asian client. The reviews mentioned how 'friendly and accommodating' he was. He was quite straightforward with me. "You can take off your clothes and put them on that chair. Then you can lie, facedown on the bed." I did as I was told.

As I was on my belly, I sensed that he took off all his clothes and knelt beside me. He quickly rubbed cold lotion on my back and began the massage. I asked for deep tissue massage but I didn't get it. His hands were light, his fingers doing most of the work (and that couldn't put too much pressure). I would get turned on feeling his thighs brush against mine. And from time to time, the limp cock would dangle over my butt. But it wasn't intentionally erotic.

After about 30 minutes, I was made to lie on my back as he worked my chest and arms. Again, even with my cock already facing him, there was no incidental brush against it. I would open my eyes to look at him. Yeah, he is hot, almost A&F-like. And he was within reach now. But I wasn't feeling intense desire.

He popped the question "Would you like a happy ending?"

"How much?"

"It's part of the package."

"Oh. Sure."

"Why? Do others charge extra for it?"

Initially, I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to give him ideas. "I don't know."

It turned out to be a straightforward kind of hand job. No frills, no nothing. When I was done, he pointed the way to the shower for me to 'clean up'.

This was release for the sake of it.

I gave him the payment and rushed out of there. We were done in under an hour. I may have lucked out in choosing the therapist. I am not about to generalize the ho-hum experience to all those masseurs on the site. This was a super-mediocre experience but will remain immortalized in the cc archives for being the first American masseur story. No, the second will not follow anytime soon.

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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

AQAG #10

Question: Sino ang Nanliligaw?
Answer: Eh di kung sino ang unang nagkagusto.

In the old-fashioned world, straights would struggle to force-fit LGBT relationships into the neat and tidy dichotomies of Male, the hunter, and Female, the hunted. A lot of them fail to realize that the norms of dating have changed since the 60's.

A question like this would probably come from the Titas and Titos of Manila. They don't even realize that perhaps, their own sons and daughters, nephews and nieces have not been following those norms either.

But let me reply to this at a personal level.

I've always been the pursuer rather than the pursuee (?). I am predator not by choice but by circumstance.

In the gay world I grew up in, the beautiful ones, the gods of our age, were almost always the one being pursued. If you were such a beauty, all you had to do was show up in the dance club or the bar and the lesser mortals would be gravitating towards you.

I wanted to be one of them. I craved for the attention they got. But alas, my physical circumstances were not at that level. I have a buddy who was one: handsome, fair, tall. We'd go to the clubs then and he'd get the stares and even the flirty chitchat. I realized then that my role was 'manliligaw' more than 'nililigawan'.

With that acceptance, I grew more confident and went after people I liked. It has worked for me immensely. I like that I have more 'control'. I also didn't take the situation as an excuse not to work on being a bit more attractive. On the contrary, I really worked on maximizing whatever potential I had. Even as the 'hunter', I had to make sure that the 'hunted' would willingly fall.

Looking back, it all seems so juvenile and immature. But those things got me started on my path towards physical fitness.

So yeah, Ako ang nanliligaw. Pero kasi ako yung may gusto at ayokong maghintay lang.

cc: I am having problems posting this with photos.

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MMJ9: Back to the Grind

The search for my masahista has led me back to that app called Grindr. I was informed that there are many ‘offers’ of both legit and not-so legit massage services there.

It made sense. The lines between hook-up and massage can get blurred. So I was back on Grindr to wait for masahe offers. And I got quite a few. Some were legit in the sense that they are trained therapists who have decided to expand their client base. But there were also a lot of ‘trialists’ - they want you to ‘try’ them out although they are unskilled. They claim to ‘dabble’ in hilot etc.

Yeah rrrright. They really just want to have sex and find giving massage as the perfect foreplay. Some even have the audacity to charge for it. Oh well.

I’ve sampled the spectrum. The best part of a Grindr massage is that there is no doubt that you will get your extra service. Some will charge more for it. But you can easily shoot that down. Looks-wise quite disappointing. Massage quality some were ok enough for a 2nd time.

Not common, but still there, is the therapist who will bottom. This is the plus factor when tapping Grindr for massage service. Some will include bottoming as part of the package. Some have even offered ... “in the heat of the moment.”

But that intersection of good massage, good looks and ok bod, extra service deluxe, I haven’t found there. Or maybe there could have been but the price was just too much.

Caveat: There are many risks with sourcing massage service from Grindr.

As in any social media hook up, there will be posers and weirdos. And there are horror stories of thieves and robbers.

I continue to be surprised, though I shouldn’t be, of many who do not practice safe sex. They offer to sit on your gear stick without condom. All done in the heat of the moment.

How to minimize the risks? Indulge in longer chat. Ask everything. Haggle and bargain if you must. I tell them what I want as part of the conversation. Declare that condoms are part of the service. Ask for pics, the more the better. If you can, don’t book immediately. Let the chat simmer a bit over a period of days. That will also filter those who are more legit (i.e. they need the moolah).

Proceed with caution.

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An Outsider Looking In

“Since you don’t live here, you don’t know what it’s really like.”

With that, my relative effectively shut the door to any two-way conversation in US politics. That is fine with me. I have come to seek understanding. And she is correct, I can’t possibly know how it’s like. I am an outsider looking in. I base my views on ‘biased’ media, according to her.

But thankfully, I have also friends (and relatives) who are more liberal-leaning. And they freely share with me where they are coming from. Nevertheless, I will proceed with caution. As I am no student of US history, I will just piece together my thoughts as an outsider.

I remain to be more liberal-leaning, as ultimately, I believe that contrary to their opinion, opportunity is not created equal for all residing in the US. By virtue of skin color, faith, culture, gender, gender-preferences, certain doors won’t open. Ceilings remain shut.

I am Christian-Catholic. My belief system contains a code of righteous living, yes. And some of those are very specific. Some of those would be in conflict with other belief systems, even within a Judaeo-Christian umbrella. I know of such conflicts between Protestants, Catholics, Jews. So I question the concept of a homogenous Judaeo-Christian “value system”.

But even more basic than any faith-based value system is a human moral code. This is something I share with other people. I believe there are basic universal values that people abide by.

I think that the wisdom of the US constitution lies in the recognition of those basic universal values and rights, not that amorphous ‘Judaeo-Christian’ value system. I reckon that even during the early years of the United States, there was already a plurality of faiths and cultures and traditions. Hence, their constitution had to separate the Church and the State.

As pointed out by friends and even family, Americans supportive of the current administration are not driven so much by their faith but by their fear. Their way of life is threatened by the diversity, economically, culturally. The violence and criminality is not helping this at all, but fanning the flames.

So they wish to build walls. They wish to keep to their own ‘kind’. Loosely, they define their ‘kind’ in terms of those sharing ‘Judaeo-Christian belief systems’. This will stop criminality . This will stop the violence. And walls would have to be defended. Hence, let’s keep the guns.

I will not even go to the irony of putting “Judaeo-Christian” in the same paragraph as “walls” and “guns”. Yes, this is so simplistic and reductionist. Blame my outsider POV.

But it is not just happening in the US. It is happening everywhere. I see this as a general resistance to years of ‘progressive thinking’ (inclusivity, sensitivity). The great melting pot of the US, the great example of diversity is now being rocked from the inside. The ideals being tested and challenged. I wonder how this will play out.

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Friday, March 9, 2018

Understanding their POV

I was apprehensive at first. I was going to visit relatives in the US who are current admin supporters. I wanted to tell them that we will avoid discussing politics as I hold more liberal views.

However I decided that avoidance is not the solution here. Intelligent objective discourse should be the way to go. For my part I resolved to try to understand where they were coming from in supporting the current administration.

Yesterday I had the chance to hear them talk about it.

Here is my understanding of where they are coming from:

- The US constitution is founded on Judaeo-Christian values. The rights enshrined are God-given and that ‘God’ is a Judaeo-Christian God.
From such a background the values of liberty and democracy arise.

- They see the ascent of the US to ‘greatness’ because of the strict enforcement of those values. They remember the discipline needed to achieve in life. They remember learning the value of hard work as foundational to success.

- They see the current state of the country as morally decaying - violence and crime, corruption. These are the result of the way the the previous administrations have ‘given in’ or accommodated to demands of plurality of faiths and cultures alienating the basic Judaeo-Christian values.

- They are not against immigrants per se. But they believe that US constitution (and the values it is based on) should not be bent and relaxed to accommodate immigrants. (They brought in the pluralistic society the US has today.)

- On the contrary, immigrants should ‘abide’ by these values if they want to come to the US and be citizens. They should respect these Judaeo-Christian values as sacred to the country they wish to adopt as their own. These include hard work and discipline. No dole-outs. You earn your keep just like everyone else.

- Because immigration systems are not based on these but on ‘liberal’ views, there is the influx of immigrants that do not contribute. Worse, they expect welfare and support. They have burdened the economy.

- They want ‘better quality’ immigrants who abide by the values enshrined in the constitution and will work and contribute to society. (They do not necessarily blame the immigrants for the crime and violence rampant in US society.)

I felt it best to just understand and not argue at this point. I have to admit that there is a logic to their thinking. And that is what I came here for.

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