Thursday, January 31, 2008

badings! beware

an incident narrated to me very recently.

bading received sms a few months back: "helo dis s xtian. 5'9", mestizo. body masaj + xtra: P1.5T" bading ignored the txt then, just wondered who this guy is.

recently, bading decided to reply to the sms: "how much masaj?" "helo sir" was quick reply. then a series of text establishing that he is goodlooking in person, but if you dont like what you see, you could always reject him.

bading agreed to meet up at a crowded seedy mall. mukha raw siyang jordanian. true enough, when they finally met, he did look like a jordanian, but very short. they went around & decided to watch a movie.

bading wasnt too interested anymore. he wanted to touch xtian's c**k at the moviehouse but guy said no. anyway, bading, feeling generous, decided to give xtian P1,500 anyway for doing nothing, just to get rid of him.

as he gave the money, look on xtian's face changes. while they were still in the mall, guy starts asking for more, for P10,000!!! bading was shocked and pissed! then xtian starts demanding the money, his voice getting louder, attracting attention.

bading, feeling embarrassed, tried to argue. but the guy just kept on asking for the money, not caring whether people were noticing that his voice was getting louder.

bading had presence of mind to walk to nearby security guard. he asked for help right then and there, telling the guards to detain the guy for extortion. guy started shouting "p.i niya! chinupa niya ako. ayaw niya magbayad!" they were causing a commotion. bading asked for head of security as the guy was being restrained by two guards now. then security head arrived and sided with the bading. they took the guy somewhere for questioning. bading kept his head up all through out.

its so sad that guys like xtian still hound the PLU world. perhaps they feel that its so easy to prey on the hapless bading, especially if closeted. all they have to do is cause a commotion to extort money from the badings.

so be alert! be aware! dont let them think they could get away with it! but an ounce of prevention... stay away from these anonymous txters...

Monday, January 28, 2008

partner returns

partner is back for good.

he starts next month with a job that brings him back to manila. wow. for more than 2 years, we were in the terrible place called LDR. and soon it will be all over.

he's been actually coming home to manila every weekend. and we are slowly phasing in our life together, again. it's not been easy. there are still some issues that need to be resolved. but we are working on it. slow by slow (hehe)

the raison d'etre of this blog is about to become irrelevant. but what a journey it has been as cc!

it hasn't been a year yet. but so much has transpired in my life as cc since march 2007. and this blog and you readers have been a source of great comfort for me. as i expressed my feelings, poured it out, you were ready to read and offer your thoughts. yes, not all of you agreed with me and my choices. but you kept on reading, you kept on commenting. and because of that, i found my blog voice.

thank you, thank you, thank you, all of you.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

benign autism?

partner and i were in the car. we drove by this cute guy, walking alone on the street, singing to himself. and he seemed like he was really belting it out, feeling like he was in some kind of mtv or karaoke video. and he was so cute, too.

cut to galleria. as i sit here working on something. i catch this cute tisoy, dancing while walking to the electronica beat in the background. arms waving. also so into it.

is this a medical condition? does it strike terribly cute guys, probably in their teens?

i actually envy them. its like they just dont give a damn.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

this used to be my playground

that mental listing of exes brought back lots of memories. including ugarte field! and as a senior (by age) member of this PLU blogosphere, i feel it is my responsibility to orient you about the PLU lifestyle and scene back then.

ugarte field was how we used to call the place. you would call it roxas triangle today. (at maraming salamat pu sa google earth for the pic)

used to be the cruising place in makati. with no fitness first branches or spas LOL, the hapless PLU would frequent any of the parks and gardens of the city to get laid. there were others like qc memorial, mehan garden. but ugarte was special because of its clientele.

being at the heart of makati, ugarte would be the place to meet and mate your makati-based office worker. sure it wasn't just office workers. being accessible to public transportation made it attractive and viable for people from other areas and walks of life.

it would be dark, right in the middle of the park, very dark. and very conducive. so people just get down to business.

you'd go there, alone or with friends. (this used to be an entertainment option for us. we'd all meet somewhere else. take someone's car and drive there. then we'd end up in a disco (note the term) or a goodah outlet. hehe)

but upon arrival, galit-galit muna. you disperse like flies shooed away. there were walkways zigzagging through the park. and others like you, walking, seemingly aimless. then the look, and the 2nd look. and the 'follow me' look or 'stay where you are, im coming for you' look.

you exchange some trite greetings. ("hi. ako si boy." "boy? eh girl ka!" joke) then its find your place in the moonlight.

everything happens there. everything unsafe. (pre HIV days no???) and if you both are open to being tonight's show, you'll have your audience, slowly circling you. some bold souls will attempt to participate. if you're open to it, it becomes a party. two becomes fifteen. lol.

but there are horror stories. someone shouts "may pulis"... and you have poor souls, pants down to their thighs or ankles, running, hopping, skipping for dear life. and you'd see 'the mobile" in the perimeter, going round and round. i personally never witnessed such a round-up.

or there is the occasional misplaced callboy asking for payment. "p_____ i___ mo! kung magpapabayad ka, magpaganda ka muna!"

mr ayala became wiser (or more conservative?) and closed up the place, i believe in the mid-90's.

that was nice...

SATC: how are you and your exxxxxx?

SATC Season2 E18: ex in the city

im doing my math. how many exes in my life?

tricky part: definition of ex
we said our 'i love you's'
we said we were committed
we were exclusive
it must have lasted more than a month

so im trying to recall, high school bf's dont count
1 the ugarte guy
2 the former charlie brown
3 the polyglot
4 the gorgeous duh
5 the pt student
6 the banker
7 the banker 2
8 the tailor's son
9 the singer
10 the legal eagle
11 the manyaman
12 the enigma

ugh. 12? im giving away my octogenarian status. but i could have 11 new posts! hehehe. actually just 8 or 9. ive actually posted some of them previously! hehe

carrie posts a question: could you/should you be friends with an ex?

generally, yes, i have remained friends with my exes, in varying degrees. only 1 hates my guts, though that has been eons ago. i just remembered meeting some new friends and then getting the "oh... so YOU are CC! Ive heard so much about you" and im thinking we've just met. turned out the this guy dated ex No 7 and he was bitchin' about me really bad. then.

all the rest i would consider to be 'friends' though i hardly see them. some of them are in far-off lands. and we dont have any contact at all UNTIL friendster came along! and that's usually a message or two.

some of them i would see and have that fondness still intact. a "how nice to see you again after all this time" greeting...

some have morphed into sistahs. "hoy, may hada ako for you..."

maintaining healthy friendships with exes is a part of me. breaking up may have been difficult, or even ugly... but time washes away all the nasty words said... and what remains is a nice memory "minahal kita once in my life"... and that becomes the basis of a friendship. well, that's just me.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Interview with a DG actor

that's the insider lingo for independent films, short for digital. DG actor sat beside me during a gayfriend's birthday bash. he was nice, feeling quite uncomfortable but looked sincere. he talked to me, looking at me. and i couldnt help but notice the clear tanned complexion, the ultra-red lips and beautiful eyes. gwapo siya.

production budget for the film starts at about P200T. it could wrap up in a week or two. he gets about P6T to P10T a day, usually shooting straight for 3 to 4 days. not bad for a few days work.

dg films are mushrooming all over and so are dg actors. so a lot of actors also compete for films. his projects would probably be about 3 to 4 a year. and since he doesnt have a day job... the guy's gotta have money problems. probably why he accepted the invite to 'dance' for us last new year's day.

seems like such a nice guy.

anyway, this was in my friend's birthday bash. he happens to be showbiz folk, behind the scenes. the party is littered with adorable wannabees, some notable actors (though mostly B-listers). so many goodlooking guys, hunks all in one place.

water, water everywhere...not a drop to drink.

or so i thought.

What's in the bag?

- three cellphones - one for each network because.... (3rd one took the pic)
- ipod touch & headphones - became indispensable for waiting (i got to catch up on SATC!)
- calling card case - my calling cards
- eye drops - a product from taiwan (so soothing, it feels mentholated)
- lip balm - my drying lips (duane reade yan! bigay ng boy fr new york city)
- pain killer - for the pain in my heel (plantar fascitis)
- something for ulcer - to prevent gastric irritation from pain killer
- 2 calling cards - from a media company & a competitor (!)
- 1 starbucks receipt - i record my expenses so i keep the O/R's till ive encoded it (OC-OC)
- starbucks after-coffee mints - to keep my mouth fresh for those unexpected moments (hihi)
- starbucks after-coffee cinnamon - an alternative to the mints
- bill from sun - so i wont forget to pay
- rollerball pen - gift from my boss for completing my MBA

what's in YOUR bag?

Monday, January 21, 2008

Salon, anyone?

Before you rush to the nearest Ricky Reyes beauty parlor, let me tell you that i am using another definition of 'salon'. According to Wiki (Wiki Weyes?hehe):

A salon is a gathering of people under the roof of an inspiring hostess or host, partly to amuse one another and partly to refine their taste and increase their knowledge through conversation and readings, often consciously following Horace's definition of the aims of poetry, "to please and educate" (aut delectare aut prodesse est). The term is commonly associated with French literary and philosophical gatherings of the 17th century and 18th century, though the practice continues today in many cities around the world.

back in college, i encountered this term and wondered how wonderful it would be to partake of such discourses. it was knowledge for knowledge's sake. and i could imagine then that such a gathering would inflame passions, ignite the intellect and ultimately enlighten the participants. i wanted to be part of it then, even as a observer.

i just came from another podcast of the Fabcasters. i totally enjoyed (again), this time with other guestcasters. and it dawned on me as we were talking and discussing that our podcasts are evolving into salons. not that i am saying that there is such high-caliber intellect there (hehe). but honestly, i am thoroughly having fun and learning at the same time. and through the discussion, we are able to expound on our positions, debate and clarify and have such a good time in the process.

i wonder if a lot of you out there would care to join the Salon?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Single Sunday

Partner just left for the South. Spending alone time during lunch. SATC moment. Part time single status. Having lunch alone. With my book to show i dont mind being alone. The single person's armament in a couples and families hostile world!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

SATC: caste system

SATC season 2 episode 12: caste system

steve, the bartender, breaks up with miranda, the successful lawyer, due to very basic economic differences. charlotte talks about dating within your caste. cross-caste relationships rarely work. does this work for PLU's?

i would think that PLU's were more egalitarian. or horniness transcends such barriers.

a lawyer girlfriend of mine was telling me of an ex-boyfriend of hers. she eventually found out that he is PLU. but they have remained friends, very good friends. anyway, during one of their chikahan, ex-bf was telling her of the ultra-hot tricycle driver he met and eventually hooked up with. girlfriend tried to be blase about it. but she was freaking out to her other girlfriends. she couldnt believe that her ex-bf, a lawyer, too, could get attracted to a mere tricycle driver.

hmm. are women, or straights in general, more likely to limit dating or relationships to their caste/class?

i asked a straight guyfriend. he sort of confirmed that he and his buddies would probably, but unconsciously, follow the 'rule'. he remembered one of them who, sort of broke the rule and dated a shapely, pretty clerk. somehow, the barkada, as non-judgemental as they tried to be, just didnt take a liking to her. that was a pretty short relationship.

but i have gayfriends who dont mind at all. heck, i dont mind. at first glance, perhaps. i see a cute guy, blue collar, white collar, no collar - guy's cute PERIOD. could i have sex? SURE. could i have a relationship? i'd go for it even if we have wide income disparities. but would it last? i really dont know. my longest relationships were with guys in my bracket, my background.

yet again, i know of some long-lasting PLU relationships with very different backgrounds.

so, are PLU's really more egalitarian? what do you think?

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

mgg is human

just a short thought after reading mgg's attorney post and the ensuing maelstrom from loyal mgg readers.

mgg is human. and we love him, warts and all.

but i can't blame readers, too. i feel that as a reader, i sometimes put this halo on authors i like, on authors whose noble views i espouse (but not necessarily practice). its like reading the better part of me. and when the better part reveals a misstep, not even a serious flaw, i could feel betrayed, at worse. or disillusioned.

that's the beauty of the blogosphere. new authors everywhere. all too human. just like the rest of us. that's why we keep on reading in the first place!

Sunday, January 13, 2008


(i swear this sounds like an SATC episode title)

a friend of mine just arrived from nyc. one of his chika was about this new term 'situationships'. the gels daw in nyc (at least the ones he hung around with) use this term as to mean that 'grey area' between a friendship and a relationship.

it seems that in nyc, people go on dating for months without becoming an item. this situationship best describes what they have: a situation where they see each other, go out on dates BUT are not exclusive, not committed. definitely, no 'i love you's'. but sure, they have sex. plenty of it. not just with each other.

i found the term cute. and it's not even "m.u." as we would refer to here in pinas circa 70's. haha. m.u. or mutual understanding is really just that final, final stage before "i love you". usually, there's already dating exclusivity. and there's an amount of accountability (nagpapaalam kung saan pupunta).

and its not fubu. of course you knew that already. i mean fubu is fubu, purely recreational without the exchange of currency. pang-olympics pero isang teammate lang.

so there you have it, a new term fresh from nyc. how many of you are into situationships? or is this such a western concept? pwede ba eto sa pinas? could the pinay gels actually just go on dating? or are we more emotional than that? or more 'commitment oriented?'

Friday, January 11, 2008

the wisdom of SATC

that's sex and the city. i love the show. starting all over again watching season 1. PLU's could definitely empathize with, nay, internalize, the characters of the show. the topics, the dilemmas they face are just so bading.

there's the episode on why there are a lot of great unmarried women. its like reading an mgg post (apologies, miggs), with all the comments. according to the guys, the women either become too desperate (and clingy) or they have these unbelievably high standards (brad pitt, matt damon). according to the girls, guys easily become threatened by successful women. and besides most of the available guys are simply self-centered assholes.

now to me, i just change all the men, women, guys, girls to gays and voila! it sounds strangely familiar!

there are a lot of great single PLU's out there, super-successful in their careers, nice, decent people. yet they remain single. some of them have the choicest dates (basketball player, actor, lawyer) yet they havent settled down. some really have these high, high standards for the Right One. it has to be all of the above, with a sincere heart (and doesnt chat). some just become too desperate they turn off dates right away. and some are just too self-centered to care for another.

makes sense? maybe not a 100% fit but makes you think...

Thursday, January 10, 2008

A Precious Gift!

A reader-friend gave me this. A reminder of what i blogged about.
A reminder of gratitude and optimism that i used to preach about.
Timely as i go thru the blues and the blahs.
Thank you! You know who you are!

Monday, January 7, 2008

friendships: for better or for worse

i've been in the blues lately. cough and colds season may be partly to blame.

but it started after a post christmas celebration with former business school classmates. it has been four years after graduation and we have remained in touch; we have remained friends. i must admit though, that during some of our previous get-togethers, i end up feeling low, just like last saturday.

that group is quite diverse: two PLU's, three ladies (two married), a father-figure (50+ male). the straights outnumber the PLUs.

i am so open to them, though we don't see each other regularly. and they know all that has happened with partner, with enigma. and i blame myself now for being so open.

they explicitly disapprove of my philandering ways. but they still enjoy the chika, they enjoy being entertained by my life's twists and turns. but when it comes to comments, it still bites when they tell you masama ka kasi may mga sinasaktan ka, masama kang tao. in my life, this group represents the moral majority, the conservative party. and i am again questioning whether i belong.

i have other groups of friends who disagree with my ways but i don't feel 'condemned', like the way i feel now. and always, those friendships leave me with a refreshing feeling after the happening, after the activity. sadly, i don't feel as refreshed with this group.

are friendships supposed to always feel warm and fuzzy? are encounters with friends supposed to always be refreshing, energizing, fulfilling? or is it selfish for me to expect that? maybe friendships will sometimes make you feel down, make you feel low, or make you feel small?

one of them actually asked me what my self-concept was now that i was barraged with all those negative labels. i lied and told him i wasnt affected. i just didnt want to dampen the spirit of the affair. but i was... and i still am affected.

i confided in a friend from way, way back. his answer: why do you get affected? why do you need their approval anyway?

i guess i do need their approval because i consider them my friends. i'd like my friends to appreciate me, to like me and to accept/approve me. is it so sophomoric to think this way? maybe.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Weddings and other corporate affairs

A colleague getting married. An important colleague. Absence not an option. So I am here waiting for my turn at the buffet table. Ultimately, this social event is really a business meeting. Before the Mass, some policies are discussed. At the cocktails, strategies are explained. So if you know what's good for you and your career, you wouldn't dare miss these functions!

new year fabcast 1

cc invited fabcasters migs, mcvie, gibbs, tony, aj to his humble abode to do a new year fabcast. it was a riot, a riot cc enjoyed immensely! they invited tenchu, a young blogger with ahmmm issues he wanted discussed. the disparate points of view covered such a spectrum cc felt he was watching Debate! hihihi enjoy part 1!

Download this episode (right click and save)

Thursday, January 3, 2008

movies then and now

been saving this thought about movie dramas (which I like). i was able to get a copy of "on golden pond" (1981, henry fonda, katherine hepburn, jane fonda) and enjoyed myself immensely watching the film. another film i would like to see again is "ordinary people" (1980, mary tyler moore, timothy hutton)

i realized how movies back then focused intensely on a few characters, seeing how their lives interact, the emotions played out in detail. with the success of "babel" and "crash", i couldnt help but contrast how these films feature multiple characters on different planes, snapshots of intense emotions or lack of it, fast pacing.

i guess this is a reflection of the times. the world is just moving too fast now, individual realities are intertwined with global events. boundaries are shattered. lives collide. big picture scenarios happen.

the challenge is how to balance life: a rich, interior, introspective life lived with the people around us and a vibrant, global world of connectivity, space and time notwithstanding.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

private show

boredom came early this year... very early. partner and i were out till 5am Jan 1, partying in malate. hmmm. not as many people as last year. going to bed malate after the new year celebrations has become a ritual for our barkada. for the past two years, partner was always out, so i was 'a swinging single'. hihihi

this year, i was behaved. though partner would tease me about 'take home', i chose to restrain myself. i noticed though, that there were some cute guys around - literally cute because they had nice faces and they were uhmm, vertically challenged. ang liliit nila. not that height matters to me. im just surprised that the combination of 'gwapo and maliit' were a-plenty that night.

jan 1 afternoon was slow for us. i blogged a bit. peeked into g4m chat. then partner and i went out for dinner. not too many restos opened. but the few were packed. so many people were just eating out after the revelry!

partner was talking over the mobile to a friend. i teased them about dropping by adonis or gigolo for some laswaan. then partner and i took the discussion seriously. i suggested a twist - why not invite a guy to do a private show instead? we'd probably be spending the same amount of money for a guy. at least we dont have to sit through mindless tranny entertainment or the 'suggestive selling' of a baklang mamasan or some boring dance routines of ugly performers.

so i very quickly fixed up our impromptu new year party cum private show. in my mind, i couldnt believe it will actually push through. but it did!!!

we were able to hire a part-time indie-film actor, courtesy of a friend in showbiz. i had to fetch the guy in Makati and bring him to QC. we were a group of 7 gels, all huddled in the living room of a friend's condo. i played dj and had to choose songs that played LOOONG for we were limited to three dance numbers only.

we were drinking vodka, munching on some boy bawangs as actor prepared himself. then as i played the song, he would come out and dance in characteristic macho dancing...

gwapo siya. body was not developed... his private was something to boast about! he stripped totally on the third song and displayed everything in full glory (more of half-mast. mukhang hirap siya!) but his face... pang pelikula talaga.

he didnt stay after the performance. some of us felt that he should have done more (jerk off till he comes) but he didnt look like the type. we should get somebody who's really into that currently.

but i had tons of fun. a private show with a good-looking indie actor, a party put together in 3 hours on new year's day... NOT BAD!

happy new year!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

back to chat

i used to chat a lot, about 10 years or more ago. when it was still dial-up. when mIRC was the hook-up place and there was gay manila. i'd sneak off and chat during lunch hours. sometimes at night. got to meet some nice people online. one became an offline friend then. my bf and i then would try to meet up with cute guys BUT unfortunately, we never had much luck. they were always better looking virtually!

after a year or two, kinda became bored with it. and i never found much use for it.

till now.

cc discovered g4m chatroom and was amazed at how much chatting has changed. well with g4m XXX chat, you can now indulge your voyeuristic fantasies. there's always somebody jerking off to a webcam. and some brave souls who actually show their faces. and certainly, it is not just a chatroom, it has become alternative entertainment. nakakatawa how the chatters react to the webcam images. some just drool over what they see. some make nasty, funny comments. and these online entertainers are so eager to please. "tanggalin mo na yan" "ilabas mo na"...

and i remain impressed that some of them seem to have three hands: one to jerk off and the others for typing on the keyboard!

so even as i write this post, i am eagerly awaiting the 'cuming' of cuteprep and what janssen will do next!

cc has re-discovered an ancient preoccupation for the new year. does that mean Ill be doing this for the rest of the year? i wont be surprised...