Friday, May 30, 2008

TAGGED-tuyo, TAGGED-init

Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
1. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
2. Bloggers tagged need to write on their on blog about their ten things and post the rules.
3. At the end of your blog you need to choose ten people you're going to tag and list their names.
4. Do not forget to comment on their site that they are tagged.
(shamelessly lifted from DATS' blog)

my ten facts

10. pinaglihi ako sa castanas
9. as a baby, i was the easiest to please. mom would just put me in the crib and i'd lull myself to sleep by shaking my head from side to side.

8. i have been wearing spectacles since 3rd grade. i have such bad eyesight.

7. during grade school days, my friends and i rushed to finish reading ALL nancy drew books (at that time, all 54 of them)


6. i felt deprived as a teenager. happiness was going to cubao during summer and sharing 3M pizza at the fiesta carnival outlet.

5. one time in college, i actually borrowed my sister's pink pants and went to school. well, it was washed-out pink. and i was feeling gay-militant.
(so what's this guy's excuse?)

4. my major psych research paper was about how people's survey responses to a written story about homosexuality would be influenced by an openly gay researcher. (guess who)

3. graduating at the top of my business class and delivering the class' valedictory address is my proudest moment.

2.im scared of heights. my heart goes beating wild. my asshole (yes, my asshole) twitches and throbs when i am at an elevation with no barrier between me and the earth below.


1. my major fantasy:

im inside my office, in full business attire. im on the phone as a hot young dude comes in, probably a messenger. he closes the door and locks it. im surprised at the move but i just look at him as i try to concentrate on the conversation i'm having, a major deal i'm trying to nail. he just looks at me and starts taking off his clothes. im panicking but i couldnt put the phone down. im mesmerized as he motions me to sit down on my executive chair. as i try to continue my business conversation, he kneels in front of me, unzips me and proceeds to give me head. he knows im held captive as he delights me with what his mouth and tongue could offer. im screaming inside as the pleasure rushes in. but helpless, i cant even do anything as the deal-making progresses. im rock hard looking at his naked bod jerking in front of me, as he laps me up, with eyes closed. i come inside his mouth, suppressing any hint of pleasure as im still on the phone. im convulsing as waves come out of me. and my orgasm triggers his, shooting loads of the carpet. he tidies me up, as i slowly recover but not missing a beat with my business. he cleans up quickly, dresses up and leaves.

mcvie
quentin
john halcyon
discreet manila
cris

rule: tell us something we don't know: fears, dreams, insecurities, fantasies

admission of guilt


i'm packing my stuff in the room. TV is on, tuned in to 'look who's cooking'. christine bersola-babao is interviewing hayden kho as he cooks carbonara.

i like the format. as celebrity does his thing in the kitchen, christine does the personal interview. and celebrity gets caught between being truthful and burning his fingers.

but not hayden. even as the 'age gap' question pops up again. and he sounded defensive with his answer 'i love because i can'. hmm.


but i have to admit. i suddenly developed this crush on him. i do find him very attractive, despite the mannequin-like skin. (it looked weird. a madame tussauds creation alive) and im reading his blog. the guy has time to blog. and he appears quite sensible. not spectacular.

i know. i know. you're probably saying - EH BADING YAN. well maybe he is. and maybe that's what i like about him. HOPE! hahaha. and i dont mind the slight feminine ways... turns me on actually. hehehe.

note the bare chested photos and see what belo's wax treatment could do to body hair! hehehe. i actually found the hair sexy.
so even if i dont look like vicky and wouldnt have the chance, i just feel like telling you guys, nay... admitting to you guys that he's my crush.

'la lang. babaw.

Monday, May 26, 2008

boy culture crazy


watched boy culture last night. many many thanks to discreet manila for the heads up on the film. totally enjoyed it. like the script. nice witty lines. quite coherent. hustler falls in love. pretty straightforward but nice little twists.

there is so much sexual tension built up here. whew. x, main character featured here, is just smoldering. and i must say that he acted fairly well, with enough restrain to make it credible. but the guy is just plain hot. and his love interest, andrew, is also hot. something about black men and their... jive.

im suddenly into derek magyar, whoever he is. 'if looks could kill' would best describe him for me. killer eyes. with long lashes at that. this is terrible for a 6:30am post.

so i will be looking for this dvd. yeah. a must-have for me. and just like 'eating out', ill probably see it as a partially buried price-off in astrovision. but i wont be complaining.

Friday, May 23, 2008

to er is human


maybe it's having been isolated for three days from 'civilization'. maybe it's because of deprivation for the past week. whatever it is, i was suddenly looking at this gardener right outside my villa in this mountain resort. i was looking at him like he was kentucky fried chicken. i felt an urge to flirt, seduce and even harass the poor guy. and he was just a plain-looking. he was as 'er'* as one could get. i didnt do it but i suddenly got reminded of a story i read from looong ago.

in my teen years, as i was discovering my sexuality, i came across an article in mod magazine (that used to be the 'cosmo' mag of the 70's to 80's). i cant remember the title anymore but the story is about how the author. married with kids, was struggling with his homosexual urges. in constant denial, he was pre-occupying himself with work and so many other things, just to keep his mind off his urges. however, all that became futile when they hired a gardener. suddenly, his fantasies were focused on this man-servant. and how he couldnt take his eyes off him as he did his gardening.

the lust drove him crazy, to the point where he actually seduced the gardener one time when his wife and kids were away. he arranged that plants be brought to the master's bedroom. as the guy was all sweaty, fixing the plants, he came from behind and groped him. and soon enough, he was having his way with him. but only until his wife unexpectedly walked in on them and raised hell. the story ended on a sad note, as his wife left him and brought all the kids.

anyway, i suddenly understood for a moment that insanity. how lust could just get into your head. and reason, even taste, just abandons you.

*link is to discreet manila's definition of 'er"

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

i'm where i would have wanted to be


yes. right place. the balcony of a cottage in a mountain resort, facing the bay of cagayan de oro, the city far below

right time. 4pm. aftrnoon haze. sun hiding behind the clouds.

wrong mood. im not singing the blues anymore. im not gloomy no more. but im peaceful. quiet. crickets, birds in the background... and the chuckle of kids playing in the pool far below.

this is a nice place - gardens of malasag, 30mins away from cagayan de oro city. individual cottages are perched on the mountain side, each with a balcony view of the city and the sea.

and im far away from my boys (LOL), from my dates. hmm. im remembering dinner with enigma and some friends sunday night. my friends, whom he just met, are teasing him about me, about us. "how do you feel about cc?" he tries to deflect the pressure "siya ang tanungin niyo" feeling a tad uneasy, i try to save him "si enigma, mabait, a person with a good heart, etc. etc." enigma is uneasy, too. he looks at me, wondering.


after dinner, one of them asks "ano ba status niyo?" laughter fades as he answers "siya ang tanungin niyo. ako naman ang iniwan niya." i feel a knife go through my heart. "sige, cc, ikuwento mo kung anong nangyari." now he challenges me with those hurting eyes.

and the mood changes as i twist and turn, as i recall the days that led up to falling for him... and how i said goodbye. he butts in "akala ko nung nag-greenbelt kami nung october, ibabalita niya sa akin na hiwalay na sila ni partner niya. excited ako." another knife goes through me. "iiwanan na pala ako." silence. then he excuses himself to go to the rest room.

my friends wanted to strangle me for hurting him. i wanted to melt.

the mood never returned to light and bubbly. we went home, the air pregnant with questions that will never be asked. our hands, holding & caressing going there, were now on their respective places.

and i know i continue to be unfair. that continuing to date him might just make him expect again. and i have nothing to promise.

staying single seems so hard.

but im back here. no, the story didnt pull my spirits down. and i remain here, blogging and at the same time, just staring at the view.

nakatunganga lang

true motivation

kevin: speaking as a gay man, i've never been able to master the art of being faithful
scott: oh that. that's too bad... but then you cant be faithful to anything until you know why you should.

wow. nice, nice line. im slowly being mesmerized by brothers & sisters. im just at season 1, episode 5. but i love this line.

its all about wanting something really bad. how badly do you want something... or someone? and it applies to those big things that we seem to have so difficulty with - losing weight, quitting smoking, being faithful...

if faithfulness, or the lack of it, is a deal-breaker for that one person, that one soul in this universe, wouldn't i want to be faithful and keep peace with my soulmate forever?

how badly do you want to quit smoking? chances are, those who cant seem to quit just haven't found that one motivation to quit. and it varies from one person to the next. it may be the thought of dying an agonizingly painful death from lung cancer. but if you're young, that doesnt bother you. or it's setting a bad example to your kids. or finally realizing that you're not just responsible to yourself but to other people, people you love.

people are amazed at how much fat ive lost. im proud of what ive achieved. but it's really just motivation. i found a very good reason to go after that ideal weight. vanity. i just wanted to look my best... ever. (i sound like a colegiala). but that motivation may not be enough for others.

faithfulness and me. ive tried being faithful to ex-partner. i found a good reason why i should. (he was going to strangle me with his bear hands. LOL.) of course that good reason faded. =) though i know im an incorrigible flirt, ill probably go exclusive for the right person... or persons. hahaha..

how do you know if you've found the right motivation? i guess it comes from real self-awareness. or it could just happen by chance. keep on trying to do that one challenging things and examine what's the motive this time. see if you stick to it.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

kisser and kissee

i remember a dialogue in a g-movie 'parting glances'. the south asian wife of the gay boss of one member of the couple whispers to the partner: in a relationship, there's always a kiss-er and a kiss-ee. there's always one who is more... aggressive, while the other 'receives'.

im more of the kisser. i get more turned on being in control of the 'situation'. i like cupping the face and kissing sweet lips, forcing them open with my tongue, ever so gently. then as the lips relax and let me in, the pace quickens. i love making my lips, my tongue explore the lips of a beauty, sucking the very air from the orifice, probing. then at once i change, and do gentle busses all around...

so why am i writing this? 1. acknowledging what turns me on (hint. hint. lol) 2. its 2am and im alone in the condo. 3. im a little tipsy. 4. and im horny as hell.

wishing for a kissee...

Monday, May 12, 2008

Twilight Zone - Her Pilgrim Soul

Episode 12, 1st Story

A scientist is astonished when he somehow creates a hologram of a girl who has a life and history of her own unlike anyone he's ever met. He becomes fascinated with her, even as his marriage slowly crumbles in his obsession with work and with her. She ages in front of him, possibly a soul from another time. And in the climax, as she is about to leave him, old and greying, he realizes that she was his love from his past life, a love he lost then. and this was just a second chance for him to finally say goodbye to her, properly, so he could move on...



this was one twilight zone episode i remember soooo clearly, years and years after, burned in my memory. i cried that first time i watched it. i cried again. this, and another episode was the reason why i loved this series so much. and the ending is so beautiful.



im really a sappy creature. a love lost always tugs at my heart strings. and this was a love found in the twilight zone.

and if you never have happiness, you don't know what it's like to lose it

im sorry i couldn't embed the youtube video. embed feature was disabled. but you could view the episode "her pilgrim soul" in four parts

Sunday, May 11, 2008

if i could be somewhere else right now...


... id be on a hilltop... with a nice view maybe of the city below... or of the sea

instead im cooped up in my tiny condo, with a just a slice of quezon city to look at.

it would have been perfect if i were in that place, now that im in some kind of strange mood - reflective, feeling reticent... alone.

and id still be blogging as i look at that perfect afternoon in front of me.

all i have are random thoughts:

im humbled by a board meeting of supposed peers. but they are not really peers for these people are super, mega successful individuals with companies, wealth. and i feel so small compared to what these guys have done and accomplished. and one of them whispered to me that i should be on my own so i could make money for myself and not for others. and that demolished another self-perception of mine, of my success and my accomplishments.

im rethinking this playboy fantasy life of mine. reminding me of a 70's charlene duncan song 'never been to me'. yes, im dating these really nice and hot guys. but i do this primarily because of a perverted need for affirmation. i want trophies on my shelves. and friends shaking their heads in amazement, maybe even envy. but this fantasy needs a callous heart. one who doesnt care whether some of those nice guys are already expecting or hurting. and besides, its not as if i could call any of them mine. all i flaunt is that im dating them. and that i like them in varying degrees. and though one stands out, i just couldnt, shouldnt fall.

because falling is committing.. committing the same mistakes. of loving so much, giving so much and being taken for granted for in the end.

im ashamed of the photos of me done by a professional. with all the nice lighting and 5mega-pixel detail, which just highlighted my imperfect features and made me realize how plain and ordinary i really am, contrary to what i've thought of myself.

im thinking how this post would show how neurotic i could get, on a perfect sunday afternoon, on mother's day...

happy nanay day!


i'm probably one of the world's luckiest sons. and i say that with all objectivity. i have a nanay who's so Gloria Romero (def: barkada term for consenting mother, taken from the 80's sitcom Palibhasa Lalaki where Gloria played a drunken consenting motherhen). though she wasn't always as 'agreeable' to my life choices.

she has always been a housewife to my father, raising a brood of six kids as my dad visited his clinics. she honestly had to learn motherhood the hard way, having married at 22yo, and 4 brothers as siblings. and a polio victim at that.

but raised us she did! and we learned how to be OC-OC from her (def: obsessive compulsive disorder). she wanted order and cleanliness.

i guess she must have suspected of my PLU ways when i was more interested in my sister's Barbie dolls than in the toy machine gun tatay got for me. hihihi. (this period i outgrew my affection for girls and my yaya's boobs. hahaha) and in high school when my friends were all badings, she did say something like "hijo, yung mga barkada mo, para silang bakla. baka mahawa ka. ibahin mo na lang." i staunchly defended my barkada, for i loved them so. and she never mentioned them again. so coming out to her was really no big surprise.

but i assumed she went through denial. but there was no denying it anymore when my sister brought to her attention a letter i wrote to one of my friends. this was when i was in 1st year college. and the barkada had broken up (almost all of us went to different schools). so we would write letters to each other. and i stupidly left on the typewriter (!?!) my ultra, mega-bading letter to her, with all the gayspeak! yes. no more denying. she held a family caucus while i was going to mass. they confronted my blossoming sexual orientation. and agreed to support me but only after nanay and tatay had discussed this with me.

i noticed that week that something was amiss. i was being quietly avoided. which was fine with me. but come saturday afternoon, my mom asked to talk to me.

nanay on the kitchen table, 'nagpipili ng bigas' (def: the rice grains bought from the market didnt used to be as cleanly milled. one had to use flat shallow basket (bilao) to lay the grains out and pick the unmilled grains or the deformed ones for disposal). maintaining her composure, though i know she had been crying previously.

'anak, yung mga barkada mo... sila ba ay...' i finished the sentence for her... no, i cut her with an immediate reply: 'opo.. lahat kami bading.' 'aaah' she calmly responded.

'gusto mo ba ng tulong? baka gusto mo ng psychiatrist?'

'di po. natanggap ko na eto. kung dati, siguro, makakatulong yun. pero ngayon, acceptance na lang ang hihingiin ko.'

'eh pano yan, di ba kasalanan sa Diyos yan?'

'bahala na po ang Diyos sa akin. gusto ko lang na alam niyo na at di ko na kailangan i-lihim pa.'

'okay. sige hijo. tatapusin ko pa 'to.' i stood up and left.

that was the start of her acceptance of who i was, her first-born son, the son who carried both grandfathers' names in his own name, a true 'the Third'.

her life journey also took her to Opus Dei where she became an incorporator. OD calmed her down, gave her resilience and a barkada of her own, until now. and though i thought OD would turn her into a preachy minister, giving me sermons on the 'gay path to hell', she never did.

she did tell me that she struggled reconciling her new-found fervor with the Catholic Church and her acceptance of my sexuality early on. but she remembered having a dream where she looked inside my bag and saw a Crucifix. she interpreted that dream to be a message telling her I was okay.

ill never forget how comforting that story was. and how that shaped my own belief in a Benevolent Jesus who loves me and accepts me.

so ive always been soooo close to her. ive taken it upon myself to take care of her, of them. and i love making her laugh, making her happy. i make it a point to have dinner with them as often as i could. and they know all my exes, and those that matter. they give me their own assessments which i value. (even as i write this post intentionally talking about just nanay, i couldnt. because nanay and tatay, they really are one now.)

nanay, thank you for being the best ever mom a gay man could ever have. i know im the envy of almost everybody, with the kind of relationship we have, with the kind of nanay i have. thank you for the genes of beauty and brains i got from your side of the family. =) thank you for accepting me, warts and all. thank you for your tears, worrying about me all this time. thank you for your smile, that i love seeing. thank you for the faith you have instilled in me. thank you for the education that has brought me here. and thank you for showing me what unconditional love REALLY means. i love you, nanay.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Twilight Zone - Wong's Lost & Found Emporium

Episode 9, 2nd Story

a young man seeking answers to his bitter questions stumbles upon a warehouse in another dimension, the repository of everything that's ever been lost.

an old woman lost time. a father lost the respect of his children. a young woman lost her sense of humor. and the young man lost his compassion.

that bitter young man eventually found integrity and little of that compassion. enough for him to stay on and be the new proprietor of The Lost & Found Emporium.

i suddenly thought of what i had lost.
i lost a partner.
i lost a relationship.
i lost a friend.
i lost him a long time ago.

if i could find the emporium, would i want to have all that i've lost?

i don't know.

no. i do. i would want to bring back that 1st 5 years with him.

a little cc drama
in the twilight zone

what have you lost? what would you want to have back?


the whole story in three videos..



Tuesday, May 6, 2008

slow-burn date

my previous marketing manager liked using the term 'slow-burn' for those activities that take time to pay back. so this date was totally slow-burn.

he was my gym crush (okay, okay... one of them). he seemed totally oblivious to me and to others during the few times i saw him . but he looked really gooood. think of a chinito clark kent. with the height and the built, the jawline and the semi-geeky appeal.

turned out a friend dated him but nothing came of it. then i saw him again (and blogged about it) he was lobster's friend who texted him asking about me. feb. 25 pa eto!

we've been texting since. but quite infrequently. and we've managed to meet up casually about 3x. i never really knew whether he actually still liked me. so i wasnt too keen on pursuing. i dont want to exert too much effort.

so an occasional hello and text. until about two weeks ago when he dropped by the condo. i was excited at the thought ("come into my lair, said the spider to the fly...") but he ended up fixing himself dinner, having nice chit-chat. a hug and a kiss. and he left. and he gave me a cd. ano ba etoh?

a few days ago, he visited me again. i just arrived from gimmick and was just sweaty. i told him i was going to take a quick shower. "can i join you?" "sure" was all i could muster as i quickly stripped off my clothes...

twas a sight to behold. my head was spinning. here in front of me was gym crush, brandon, in his glory. and to top it all, he lathered me up, worked on me, gave me a massage as we were standing there!

he spent the night over. and he made sure we were both spent that night.

slow-burn, slow-burn. patience is a virtue.

summer look

ive decided on a new look. im bringin' back facial hair.

well not that much facial hair. it's mustache and goatee. nothing that i havent done before. i wore this before in protest for my ex's job assignment. (he sooo didnt like it). but i liked it. i noticed women didnt like it on me. they prefer clean cut cc (cccc??) but even as a kid, i used to draw a mustache, convinced i looked good with one. i didnt think i was hairy enough to support a full mustache. but am so glad that i took the time to let it grow then. and it grew to a full mustache. the goatee came after.

i noticed that it's even thicker now than it used to be. the pic was last year pa.

brandon, my chinese date, likes it. i look latino raw! (si jennifer lopez ba eto? hehe) and i must say it has given me some glance-backs. hihihi.
i think of it as my summer look.

updates, updates

i guess i owe it to readers to give status updates on these posts of mine.

rainbow connection

we finally met up yesterday. plans for the weekend went topsy-turvy when his flight was delayed by 12 hours!!! i was more anxious than excited, honestly. i kept on composing in my mind how i would tell him about my no-commitment stance now.

he was still a stand-out in the crowd, 5'11", broad-shouldered, gwapo. thought he'd look older. stepped inside the car and just so happy to be back. i was feeling sick, physically down with slight fever, but i snapped out of it upon seeing him. we had late lunch in serendra. and as i was filling him on the details of what happened to me and ex, i touched on how 'happy' i was being currently single.

and i told him finally what ive been rehearsing. he took it very well, understanding where i was coming from. and that he was not going to rush things. that he will be waiting. (uh-oh)

the night didnt end as planned. only because my fever became full-blown. but i was amazed at the care he gave me last night. WOW. he was just fussing over me, lulling me to sleep with gentle kisses, caresses on my forehead. i was feeling chilly so he just cuddled me tight. the whole night.

ordinarily, i would have been overwhelmed with the affection. but i was surprised at the thoughts running in my head. "yikes. he's so into me! how do i get out of this?" so there was this bundle of weird feelings: guilt, relief, affection. and that kept me from getting a good night's sleep, despite all that he was doing. and yes, we refrained from doing anything. couldn't afford to get him sick, too.

we had breakfast. and there, he was a bit more honest about how he felt towards the 'arrangement'. "alam mo na kung ano ang tama at mali. di kita pipigilan. di ko style yan. kaso isipin mo na lang baka may nasasaktan ka. seloso pa naman ako. basta di ka na bata. alam mo na kung anong tama."

he left this morning. i chose to take a sick leave today. and couldnt help but think about what he was saying. i certainly do not want to hurt anybody. and that's why i chose to be totally honest to him, to the others. but does being honest take away the pain? or just my sense of responsibility? *sigh*

hada

a reader was particularly interested in how this developed. sadly, zilch. nada hada. yes we were texting. however, i didnt like the way the text was going. there was the "wala akong trabaho ngayon"... "nag-iipon pa nga para makapag-nclex review"... and the kicker "naghahanap nga ako ng person with a good heart to help me". yikes! i chose to play coy with these texts. and i think he got the message. and when i texted him again after a few days, deadma. oh well.

enigma

we went to tagaytay one afternoon. we had dinner at my fave place there. he was quite sleepy so he slept on my lap going back to manila. he was curled up around my arm. and i remember when we used to sleep together. but that was just that. i dropped him off since he had an early commitment the following day. and we text every now and then.

life goes on. but i am beginning to wonder whether this fantasy life is really just a fantasy. that the reality is "i cant have my cake and eat it, too" (follow the link for a satisfactory explanation of this expression!).

*sigh*

cc diary: 10_26_98

growing up, i have always had a diary. my entries were by no means regular. but reading them now, i am reminded of my pre-occupations, my concerns, my desires back then. funny and nostalgic. i feel like sharing some entries from time to time. snippets of cc growing up, of cc in process... in short, wala lang ako ma-post na bago... =)

october 26, 1998 10:20pm

it has been three days since we arrived from HK. My emotions are mixed... ambivalent even. surely it was a great experience... the chance to experience people, to be intimate with them who represent a culture quite different from ours.

i met wonderful persons there albeit in some sordid circumstances. janus is young... only 23 yo., an auditor for an acctg firm. he is tall and wiry... but he has such a nice face... high cheekbones... nice eyes... but with the distinct Chinese smell.

i saw him first on the MTR... looking tired but still looking unconsciously beautiful... and we all ended up in the same place... WeClub in Causeway. i tried not to pursue, for he looked aloof... even just viewing the movie all by himself. besides, noel might fancy him.

but luck would have us leading each other into the maze... and he became the first local i've been intimate with.

it started so passively... restrained.. purely just sexual.. but i couldnt keep myself from kissing his face... and looking at it from the faint incandescent above... and he seemed to like looking at me, too.

the passion was there... as we allowed ourselves to feel each other... to probe with our hands, our mouths, our tongues...

yet even that changed with his first words.. "what's your name?" and we started responding to each other as people. and the sex became that one-night romance.

tender, warm, humorous, light yet so full of emotion.. i will always cherish the few moments lying there on our wet towels, on a leatherette mattress, framed by black walls... sordid yet we connected. i could lie down there for the longest time.

i was worried about B and the others so i had to break us up after the climax. for a while, he disappeared as i tried to look for him. but soon he re-appeared and kept me company for more than an hour.

he is special.. with a sad, solemn, serious look on his otherwise lovely face. i liked looking at him...


this was my first trip to HK with my partner then, B, and friends (another couple). we went straight to WeClub, a bathhouse upon arrival! i got janus' email. and for a few months after, we were corresponding. but that waned soon.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

dear half-pint

let me call you that, dear. you're my half-pint but you deliver a full gallon... and more! i sometimes still have to pinch myself whenever i have you in my arms. just a few months back, you were just another hot bod, gorgeous face in cyberspace.

now, i get to enjoy you, dear... all of you. you are just such a bundle of fun! i always laugh so much when i am with you. you deliver just the right lines to make me red, or to put me in a spot, especially when i try to come clean.

but dear, i just have to tell you that you are one hot hunk! and those few nights (and days) we've spent just rumbling and tumbling i can't get over them! i wouldnt think i'd be able to still do three in a four-hour span! i just couldnt get my hands, my lips, my... off you.

i see you lying on your stomach, in your racy underwear... mind-blowing! instinct tells me to just jump on top and start kissing you gently from your nape, to the small of your back. to slightly tug at aussie bum covering your awesome buns... then to lick my way back to the top, and nibble you at your neck.. and it always drives you crazy because it tickles you so much... and you feel mine grinding you... enough!

im enjoying your company and cum-pany so much, dear. i just wanted to tell you that.

and to apologize if i'll be scarce for the next days. well, ill just need to attend to the rainbow and carefully level things. you do understand, right dear? besides, i wouldnt want to cause too much trouble between you and work and friends and hubby, etc.

so half-pint, stay hot and sexy... it wont be long but ill be back. and i just hope you'll still want me around...

cc