living the fantasy

so busy with work, people. apologies. Gee. you must have been bored with seeing the same post over and over again. bawi ako.

let me share with you a childhood fantasy...

... when i was a kid, my fantasy was to be a "millionaire-playboy", best exemplified by bruce wayne aka the dark knight. i so love the trappings - the mansion, the butler, the endless parties, the sports cars and the different babes bruce is photographed with. that was like ultimate when-i-grow-up stuff. this was about 5 to 6yrs old. yes, i remember being straight then. i remember running after girls, kissing them. i remember stroking my yaya's boobs. i remember getting so turned on with the playboy mags my father kept.


then i just snapped out of it. and by the time i was 8 or 9yo, i became wimp and limp. i wasnt into sports AT ALL. and preferred reading to 'roughing it up'. by end of elementary school, i was having fantasies of my beefier classmates. and there has been no change since. =)

but being single again, being relatively 'comfortable' in life reminded me of that childhood fantasy, especially when i came face-to-face with the mx-5. i really want to be single again and dating different people. im slowly acquiring the 'trappings'... suddenly, its back to the millionaire playboy fantasy, with a gender twist.

dating. i enjoy dating. i enjoy the flirting and the teasing. previously, i thought that being single would mean unrestrained casual sex, anonymous or not. i realized that that's not my style. i would not refuse casual anonymous sex but i would rather date THEN have that happy ending. im no stud, like my former-fling-now-friend legal eagle. that guy's Samantha (SATC) and Brian (QAF) all rolled into one. that guy's part slut, part stud (SLUD?)

call me old fashioned. but i 'd rather have some dinner and conversation first. but no commitments. nothing exclusive. just fun times together. and that's what ive been up to lately. and im enjoying every minute of it. especially going out with really hot AND nice guys. (well lately its been one hot guy. what a HOT saturday night!).

so though im no millionaire, im feeling like im living my fantasy life. and that's another reason why the posts have been few and far between. hehehe.

some people will call this the mid-life crisis. maybe it is. ouch. but actually, it doesnt hurt! =)