cc diary: 10_26_98

growing up, i have always had a diary. my entries were by no means regular. but reading them now, i am reminded of my pre-occupations, my concerns, my desires back then. funny and nostalgic. i feel like sharing some entries from time to time. snippets of cc growing up, of cc in process... in short, wala lang ako ma-post na bago... =)

october 26, 1998 10:20pm

it has been three days since we arrived from HK. My emotions are mixed... ambivalent even. surely it was a great experience... the chance to experience people, to be intimate with them who represent a culture quite different from ours.

i met wonderful persons there albeit in some sordid circumstances. janus is young... only 23 yo., an auditor for an acctg firm. he is tall and wiry... but he has such a nice face... high cheekbones... nice eyes... but with the distinct Chinese smell.

i saw him first on the MTR... looking tired but still looking unconsciously beautiful... and we all ended up in the same place... WeClub in Causeway. i tried not to pursue, for he looked aloof... even just viewing the movie all by himself. besides, noel might fancy him.

but luck would have us leading each other into the maze... and he became the first local i've been intimate with.

it started so passively... restrained.. purely just sexual.. but i couldnt keep myself from kissing his face... and looking at it from the faint incandescent above... and he seemed to like looking at me, too.

the passion was there... as we allowed ourselves to feel each other... to probe with our hands, our mouths, our tongues...

yet even that changed with his first words.. "what's your name?" and we started responding to each other as people. and the sex became that one-night romance.

tender, warm, humorous, light yet so full of emotion.. i will always cherish the few moments lying there on our wet towels, on a leatherette mattress, framed by black walls... sordid yet we connected. i could lie down there for the longest time.

i was worried about B and the others so i had to break us up after the climax. for a while, he disappeared as i tried to look for him. but soon he re-appeared and kept me company for more than an hour.

he is special.. with a sad, solemn, serious look on his otherwise lovely face. i liked looking at him...

this was my first trip to HK with my partner then, B, and friends (another couple). we went straight to WeClub, a bathhouse upon arrival! i got janus' email. and for a few months after, we were corresponding. but that waned soon.