mgg invite!

interesting party, don't you guys think?

farewell new york...

all my bags are packed
im ready to go
im standing here outside your door
already im so lonesome i could cry

no, im not that lonesome. quite nostalgic at this point, my last night in the big apple, in the u.s. im actually looking forward to going back to manila, to the warm and wet climate of dear manila. i miss working, would you believe? i miss being busy with a million things to take care of.

i leave the u.s. with great memories...

how is partner coping...

apologies to reader JCP. i havent responded to his comment on my post. so i dedicate a post to you. as i understand, you are in the same boat as my partner - meaning, you have a partner who recently cheated on you, that you are aware of. and that you have not broken up with him.

how is he? i really can't say for sure how partner is. all i can say is that things are not back to normal yet. i receive a few texts from him. none of these show any sweetness or warmth. all are very perfunctory. i text him and email him, and i still put our terms of endearment. sadly, those terms no longer appear in his texts or emails.

so i am now guessing that he remains hurt. and because of that, he doesnt want to be sweet to me. beyond that, i dont know what motivates him to remain cold and withdrawn.

honestly, i am at a loss, too. i am admittedly at fault for what i have done. but i am now starting to wonder how long this punishment will continue. i don't know anymore how long i can sustain this relationship without receiving any sense of love and warmth from him. i crave intimacy, as i have always had. and this cold treatment, this punishment he has been inflicting on me may just wear me down permanently.

so jcp, i am truly sorry if you happened to be the one lied to, cheated on... and if i were your lover, i would have already begged for your forgiveness and assured you that it wouldnt happen again. but i also want to tell you that should you have chosen to stay and forgive, please forgive and forget... as hard as it may be, please trust again... because if you feel you won't be able to trust anymore, please do not prolong the agony by staying. move on...

almost laid Part II

back in new york. sunday night, i visited Hiro, dance club the gays here visit on a sunday (yes, on a sunday). it was even raining that night...

got there early (closed pa at 930pm) and just went to gym bar first. finally had chance to meet some people there. a slovenian introduced himself and the rest of his friends. but he looked too drunk. he was with a cute guy from brazil, though.

then i went to hiro... still too early at 1015pm. just a few people. big place. nice big dance floor... lounges around it.. two bars on the ground level... mezzanine overlooking the dance floor with its own bar. i decided to hang out at one of the stair cases from this mezzanine. gave you a nice view of the place (that's where i took the pic)

i notice that i wasnt alone in that landing... there was this nice looking fellow who looked latino behind me. and since there was like PLENTY of room for him to stay hang out in, well, i felt that he was not just there for nothing.

the music was great and i really just started moving. alone. its new york. nobody cares. guy behind me casting glances from time to time... then we started dancing and talking...

troy was born in argentina, but went to the u.s. early. based in boston though he shuttles back and forth from new york. he looked like the mexican actor who played sergio in marimar opposite thalia! wow. of course eduardo capetillo looks better. and his eyes were glowing blue with the lights in the dance club.

and pretty soon, we were already like lip-locking and dirty dancing... it was so hot. and he kept on wishing i was based in new york. we were really into each other. and we didnt care who was around... we didnt realize the club was filling up.

then he apologized that he had leave for a 5am shoot tomorrow. and after a few more hot kisses, he left. no phone exchanges. i am guessing he is the type who is actually looking for something beyond sex. and wont even start anything that has no future.

either that or he wasnt really into me.

i prefer to think of the first one though.

sigh. another cold shower in cold new york.

almost laid...

i just had dinner and was strolling along lincoln, killing time for the next activity - cocktails at versace mansion, ocean drive (ooooh. i just HAD to put that. that f**kng address is so exclusive here!) after being used to just enjoying rubbernecking and not expecting anything, POW. nice caucasian guy looks at me, too, as we walk past each other. and in classic gay mating behavior, the 3-second look back... and another... we both slow down our pace. oh shit. finally happening to me. he makes a u-turn and walks towards me.

alvaro is from cuba, visiting a friend in miami. nice blue eyes he didnt look latino at all because he was very fair and blond! but yes, he had that thick latino accent. so my groin starts like imagining things. more small talk - turns out his friend is in las vegas. and he just check out of his hotel. and he's got a backpack.

he's just walking around. man, he looks like woody harrelson, improved version! body's not buff but just fine. he's about my height. and with the way he was looking at me, and sort of brushing against my arm... the guy's putting on the latin moves... natutunaw ang tuhod ko.

but i got scared. like i suddenly think of a hundred bad scenarios - serial killer out to chop me to pieces, petty crook about to steal stuff in my hotel room, clinger who won't go home after sex... so told a lie. got a roommate. so he bade goodbye. told me he will just be walking around. and off he went.


ten minutes later. i am trying to look for alvaro. part of me, the horny part, regretting letting go of an opportunity. but i never found him.

but the nice part is the affirmation. hey, i aint invisible anymore. at least here in miami!

art deco'ed

>im a fan of architecture. something about buildings and construction as an art form just amazes me. it must be awesome to express one's self using such a HUGE CANVAS, with immense dimensions and considering a multitude of engineering details!

i just found out that south beach has the biggest concentration of art deco buildings in the world. and i just had to join the walking tour of the art deco district to appreciate this artistic movement.

"Art Deco was a popular international design movement from 1920 until 1939, affecting the decorative arts such as architecture, interior design, and industrial design, as well as the visual arts such as fashion, painting, the graphic arts, and film. This movement was, in a sense, an amalgam of many different styles and movements of the early 20th century, including Constructivism, Cubism, Modernism, Bauhaus, Art Nouveau, and Futurism. Its popularity peaked during the Roaring Twenties. Although many design movements have political or philosophical roots or intentions, Art Deco was purely decorative. At the time, this style was seen as elegant, functional, and ultra modern." Wikipedia

i thoroughly enjoyed the walking tour conducted by the Miami Design Preservation League, a foundation dedicated to preserving the artistic heritage of Miami, primarily through protecting the buildings. Scott, our gay tour guide (or at least i think he is), gave us an excellent overview of the art deco movement, mentioning by heart the prime movers, the design elements as well as the history of the preservation. it was wonderful just walking down mainly ocean drive as he pointed to examples of art deco, with plenty of trivia in between. (the birdcage movie with robin williams and nathan lane was shot in south beach with the Carlyle as their theatre restaurant!)



allow me a diversion. just found this scene hilarious...

another side note... dont hesitate to join tours if you travel. i had some reservations, too, but now, everytime i travel i manage to join a tour group. i know, i know, not a lot of you want to look like tourists or to feel like ducklings being herded by the tour coordinator BUT the value is in the information these trained tour guides give. seriously! i also joined the new york movie and tv shows tour and the tour guide was a part-time actress who had all these inside information. the wealth of information these people give actually pays for the tour. and on top of that, they show you first hand how to appreciate...

not a bad deal, right?