Late post. I didn’t get around to posting this last week.
Last Sunday was Divine Mercy Sunday. And the Gospel was about the Doubting Didymus, or Thomas. Those two themes resonated deeply in my retired heart.
I had anxieties going into retirement (which I posted previously). A lot of it stemmed from financial security issues, aware that a regular inflow of resources would suddenly be halted. Though I have saved some, invested some for some future cashflows, I still felt that these weren’t going to be nearly enough. I had lots and lots of doubt.
But hearing what Jesus said to Thomas (incidentally my namesake) “Blessed are those who have not seen, yet believed,” I felt that He was telling me that as well. He was assuring me that even if I have not seen the evidence of financial security, I should believe that He will provide.
Then I thought of the Divine Mercy, and realized that the prayer ends with “Jesus, I trust in You.”
I really doubted Jesus. I really felt I was going to be all alone to handle all this uncertainty. And last Sunday reminded me to believe, to have faith… to trust Him, as I should have at the start.
I felt this great weight lifted from my sagging shoulders. And I continued to pray for more faith, more trust and not be the Doubting Tomas any longer.
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