fashion design and hair & make-up styling. if i know that a potential recreational partner does any of the two, libido goes south. it's the stereotyping. i always have images of effeminate men in those careers. and im not into effeminate men. i have acquaintances and friends who are either of those. sisters, we all are.
i saw this koreanovela-looking young guy while trying to load his cellphone. i saw a slight smile as our eyes met. hmmm. by a stroke of luck (and ingenuity) i was able to get his cellphone. and that started the text messages.
moony was receptive, indicative of interest. and finally a first date. a starbucks meet-up. he is in-between jobs, from the province. very shy. would speak only in tagalog. but boy was he cute.
two more dates and moony was inside cc's condo. but now he seemed tense and unsure. and even a few attempts at a little intimacy couldnt be sustained. he wanted to just keep a conversation going.
and mid-way he told me that he hasnt been honest with me. he told me his real name and his profession - hair & make-up stylist. i was trying to suppress shock, trying to appear blase about this.
ive always assumed, naively, that people i meet would be quite honest about who they were. of course, ive met people with nicknames and aliases. but if they would rather not tell me other details about themselves, they'd just avoid answering and not have to make up stories.
so this is entirely new. he told me he made it up for fear that i would get turned-off by his profession. and that he never thought this was going to get any further than a one-night stand. but he was getting to be comfortable with me. and he had a greater fear of cc finding out about him in another way.
he was so apologetic. he actually became physically distant. and he kept on trying to make me admit i was or i am turned off. but i didnt. and i couldnt because after the shock, i just felt numb.
i became so curious about him. things ive always wanted to ask a hair stylist. and i started to put together this mental image of him cutting hair in the salon.
i kept on looking at him and i still saw the same cute face, with nary a trace of effeminacy. and i still couldnt understand my feelings about this...
how would you feel, guys, if you were in my shoes? would you continue to 'consummate'? should careers, professions matter?
20 comments:
if it were a long term thing, i'd settle with someone in a more stable/reputable profession.
but if it's just a one night stand, then i don't think it should matter.
or if he's horny and you are too, then go get it on! Lol.
If its just sex, then go ahead and consumate. Why not?
However, if you are looking for a long term partner, isn't it discriminatory to have one's profession enter into the consideration?
On the other hand, one's vocation may provide an insight into a person's behavior patterns.
For example, is it common for construction workers, welders, etc etc to listen to Wagner and read the New York Times when they go home? Be conversant about the qualities of white wine vs. red wine? Would you be able to find a parlorista who would climb a ladder in the midst of a downpour to clear the leaves from the alulod that's clogging the drain? Change a flat tire?
I think in the end one ends up choosing a partner who belongs to one's social circle.
In a perfect world, it shouldn't matter--occupation is irrelevant. You like a person--bam, you sleep with him.
BUT since this is real life, of course it does matter, affecting the way we view our (potential) partners. Sa Pilipinas pa naman e masyadong negative/stereotypical ang image ng parlorista.
THEN AGAIN, Kyan Douglas, the hair stylist, is Queer Eye's hottest guy.
My advice:
Please do not 'consummate'. For the sake of this young, nice, cute guy trying to earn an honest living, he just doesn't deserve a shallow, older man.
it will be okay for a while but it will be an issue with you sooner or later.
hindi na. basta cute, go! ayaw mo nun,libre gupit..
i know what you mean. I'm also guilty of this. I have a thing against cross-dressers. Not the drag queens, mind you. I have something against gay men trying to look like women but still falling short of it. I'm fine with those who really look like women and the drag queens who do it on occasion an are larger-than-life women.
Anyway, I digress. Regarding your question, I don't think professions should matter. I think it shouldn't matter because it's separate of who they are. Work is something we do to live the life we want to live. It's the life that we live that matters. I would have continued on.
Just my 2 cents worth.
hey, you can get a free blow dry after the blow job!
my advice is never settle for anything less. if you don't like his profession then find someone else its better to make a clear judgment now rather than you are going to have a relationship with him which is not your ideal guy which might end you having lots of trouble
Ano'ng klase'ng ingenuity 'yun? Share tips naman, please! =)
BTW, the most disruptive commenters always post anonymously. I've seen this pattern all over the blogosphere. They all post comments that paint the blogger as shallow, loser, have too much time on their hands, blah blah yada yada yada but then again they keep diligently reading said blog. LOL
Marco's comment reminded me of one thing: pag maganda talaga ang effiminate na bakla (i.e. mestiza,), hindi bastusin. Pag pangit or butchy queenie, sorry na lang (she's gonna get ripped.) This is actually very true!
the free blow dry and blow job comment is sooo funny!! haha
at least you learned something from this experience that it's wrong to stereotype.
I wouldn't consummate because I don't wanna play with the boy's feelings.
That was my angel talking. Or at least what's left of him.
My devil would tell me to shag him, be fubu's with him, and to be careful not to commit with him in a relationship.
Careers matter, coz it influences a person's lifestyle and sometimes character. A friend of mine broke up with a masahista for finding out his profession. Not because being masahista is dirty, but the job influences the man to get exposed in physical and sexual contacts with the clients.
I'm not saying being parlorista is bad. But as one comment suggested, there's a biased impression of people for parloristas. And not all people, esp me, are familiar with the hottest hairdresser/achievers in the world.
Mega explain? Sorry, nadala lang ng topic.
it doesn't matter kung ONS lang... i do think a profession in the beauty industry is as honorable as say, in the pharmaceutical or any other.
nakakaloka nga lang na yung refined na guy pag kasama mo eh may posibilidad na pagkakikay-kikay at naka-funda pa sa trabaho. yun siguro ang mas malaking isyu.
i had ebs with 2 different guys who worked as stylists... did the deed with both.
at least makakalibre ka na ng gupit from now on!
if it's for "alis kati" only (for sexual satisfaction), walang problema yan, just as long na kung nuong first time mo siyang nakilala ay hindi pa rin naman siya nagbabago ng mga kilos until my consumation process na, walang problema,,go on hanggat hindi ka pa nakakakita ng some mannerism nya na you're turned off...zam
It is surely infintely better to have a parlorista for a bf, than to have a bf who thinks this:
- Would you be able to find a parlorista who would climb a ladder in the midst of a downpour to clear the leaves from the alulod that's clogging the drain? Change a flat tire?
Bigotry always leaves a bad taste in any mouth, any day. Sobrang dami kaya (sa nagpapanggap na) pa-mhin na mali-mali pagdating sa gulong/kotse/gawaing-bahay. At ilan ba sa mga "pa-mhin" na ito ang ginagaya si Celine Dion at Barbra gabi-gabi. When will even badings have an open mind?
In the end, does one put a premium on a person's values, or the (ill and especially dull majority's) perception of the value of any one person.
Wait! Baka naman ang kaya lang niyang gupit ay yung tsunami hairstyle, tapos type pa niyang kulayan ang buhok mo ng shocking periwinkle.
GUDLAK SA 'YO! =)
free blow dry after the blow job! hahaha... that's pretty funny.
for a long time, men (boys) who work in beauty parlors are looked upon as effeminate "parloristas'. apparently, vivere salon in robinsons malate and bench fix in serendra employ hairdressers (or stylists? i don't know the proper term for them) who are and seem to be regular guys. teenagers, including my nephews, have their hair cut there simply because young men cut their hair and easily relate with their younger male clientele.
methinks, the image of the effeminate parlorista is "diluted" with these hair salons catering to the youth.
just a thought.
with your query on whether to consummate or not... sex is sex. it's meant to be physical. don't think too much. think after you've done it. it's like eating. you'll never know how dinner tastes like until you've bitten into the main course.
hmm this would be difficult...parlorista kamo hehe kakaiba nga parang di pang bf...
pero sa hirap humanap ng matinong bf ngayon a why not...sa america naman madaming ganyan lalakeng lalake pa nga ang gumugupit ng buhok hehe
It shouldn't matter, I believe.
In the 70s, pinagtatawanan ang male nurses.
Happy luck to you..!
beneath thinking that way about parloristas is just having a preference for manly-looking, non-effeminate-moving gay men. so, lesson: to not stereotype- which i am also guilty of. consummate because you like the person, his personality, you like the vision of a future (however short or long -- the future!) with this guy. plus you say he's cute so that's one of the reasons you hooked up in the first place. :) go with how you feel :)
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