One is tall and sexy. American-Oriental mix. A polyglot. Diver, environmentalist.
One is short but lean and atheltic. Filipino but often mistaken as Latino. Madison Avenue hotshot.
Two men. Mid-40's. Fulfilling careers. Financially independent and very comfortable. Despite their age, they remain very hot and attractive. They go to a bar and they would have no problem getting laid. And I have seen this happen.
I know them separately. I am more than acquaintances with each of them, maybe even friends. Except we don't keep in touch as often. But I treasure whatever 'friendship' we have, built through the years.
Lately, I chatted them up. One happened months ago. The other was more recent. But when I got down to thinking about the conversations, I realized a common, parallel thread.
Despite both of them being attractive men in the peak of their careers, they are both single and uncommitted. And they both refer to themselves as 'broken'. They cannot and would not stay in relationships, though they are never wanting of guys professing their love for them. They both feel that they are too broken to even be capable of anything remotely committal. They have littered their history with shattered hearts. Yet you could sense the loneliness. And they tell you that they feel incomplete. They want to relate to another human being in a deeper way.
I initiated conversations to probe the reason behind that 'brokenness'. Again, some similarities arose, with family playing a central role in how they have become. There is some bitterness, coated with longing, as they talk about it. I wish I had more time and the space, to be the friend they need.
Who would have thought that with all the 'blessings' of good looks, stable careers, these two men would be wanting of love and intimacy.
There is a third man. But unlike them, he is in a relationship. He has found what he has been looking for. But his partner caught him being a flirt quite a few times, especially while in different states of inebriation. Thankfully, his partner was understanding. The incorrigible flirt that he is stems from a broken, insecure soul, ever needing affirmation. And I despise myself for it.
Broken men who need fixing. But how?
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