Friday, December 6, 2013

Wala lang (nothing, really)

I met up with raider-friend one Friday night. It was great catching up with him. It was a follow-up to an initial meeting that felt bitin (lacking somehow). We had more time to talk and chat this time. And one of the things I asked him was how his impression of ceecee changed, if it did at all, upon meeting me in person. He said that it did change.

He said that I looked 'normal'. LOL Upon further prodding, he mentioned that he was thinking I would look like a 'manyac' (maniac). That sent me laughing really loud.

Ano ba itsura ng manyac?

Anyway, that conversation turned out to be more of a psychiatric session for me than anything. I have to hand it to him for asking the right questions, for his probing skills. But at the same time, it also made me quite uncomfortable.

I bear my tarnished soul here in the blog. I introspect and analyze. And I post. The process has helped me sort some issues. Actually, sometimes, I introspect with the idea of posting it at the back of my mind. That maybe, what I discover about myself would resonate with raiders as they do their own introspection and self-discovery.

Yet, as he asks certain questions, as he interrogates, I squirmed in my seat. Because part of me is not just ready to confront issues right then and there. I don't think fast, not fast enough, anyway. So some questions just left me silent and ponderous.

In the end, he clarified that there was no judgment in the questions. Just clarifications that were needed. On hindsight, he clarified because I seem to be conflicting myself, I suppose. And I did feel that I wasn't judged. Unlike some other people who interrogate because they already know what they want to hear.

Recently, he begged indulgence for such a behavior. It was probably the alcohol talking. But no apologies needed actually. That conversation was cathartic.

Thank you, dear raider.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

No comments: