a brooding afternoon on christmas eve

I swear the heavens are commisserating with me this aftrnoon. The clouds are all over the metro as I drink my coffee in a mall.

I just came from a trip to Bohol. As my christmas gift to the family, I sponsored their accommodations as long as they take care of the airfare and their meals. Three of my siblings and their families are home for the holidays. This is the first time we would be going on a trip that required flying.

I booked the tickets early part of the year. By July, I finalized the resort details. Then in August, twin 'calamities' struck. First, it was my mom's stroke. Then it was my dad's gastrointestinal surgery. The family was having second thoughts of pushing through. I told them to postpone deciding till November. I was confident my parents would be recovering in time.

By November, my dad had not fully recovered. Much hesitation to continue with the journey. And on a personal note, work became much more toxic. We were facing insurmountable challenges.

As December rolled in, my dad became stronger. And everyone finlly agreed to push through with the plans. So I felt relieved. And also pressured to make sure I didn't mess up, as plans also shifted a bit.

A day before our departure, one of my sisters, and her family, sent me a frantic text message. They were in Bohol and there was no one to fetch them from the airport. Fetch them? Weren't we supposed to fly together? Then I back-checked my messages from her. I got it all wrong. Luckily, I was still able to arrange transfers and a room for them. Good grief.

We all woke up early for that 530am flight. I arranged for three vehicles to bring us to the airport, to Terminal 3. No matter if that was such an early flight, there were long queues just going inside the terminal. Never mind. We have plenty of time.

Finally, we got inside and proceeded to PAL counters. My face became white as the guard told us that Bohol flights were in Terminal 2. "Please read the ticket, po." Oh Shit. I had brought all 14 of us, with two senior citizens and a toddler. WTF was I thinking?!? Frantically, we had to just get cabs to take us to Terminal 2. And as my sister got a wheelchair for my dad, the wheelchair assistant told us that PAL might just be able to bring us to Terminal 2 using the transfer shuttle. And luck prevailed. We were able to transfer for free and with enough time due to plane delay.

We made it safe and sound to Bohol. And all of them had a really grand time, they tell me. Well, I did, too. Partner was with me throughout, keeping me cool even as I was panicking. But I still really feel lousy for failing yet again in arranging the trip. I made such stupid, careless mistakes. Despite all my OC-ness, I missed those details that somehow ruined what would have been a perfect vacation.

I blame all the stress I've been under. But really, all that is still my fault. 2013 has become a year that exposed all my weak points, in so many levels. I need to work on so many things. Yet, I need to stop multitasking and focus. So I won't miss anything.

It's the night before Christmas. And all I could think about is how much I have failed this year. And the clouds seem to agree.

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Location:Dona M. Hemady Avenue,Quezon City,Philippines