a new acquaintance, a former date of a friend, started being friendly. we bumped into each other at a coffee shop. and he asked that i join him for a while. he was nice and inquisitive, especially about my relationship now. well, he seems like a newbie in the scene.
soon he was texting regularly. nangungulit lang sa text a hello here, a joke there. and he would ask more questions about my relationships. i started to feel that he was flirting with me. he found my fb profile and was commenting about the body pics. hmmm. i do admit, though, that it was flattering thinking i was being admired.
but when he started asking for dinner and coffee, i felt that this was not going the friendship way. so i talked to him, quite seriously.
hey. i want to tell you something.
wow. so serious. shoot. teka, are you about to shoo me away?
its just that im feeling uncomfortable na with the way things are turning out. i'm avoiding going out with you, thinking you might misinterpret.
(laughs aloud) hey! chill lang! dont be too serious! i'm just having fun with you. i know you might be thinking that i'm into you. it's not that! i'm just teasing. i'm no home wrecker. (laughs some more)
ah.. ok.. it's just that i thought... (embarrassed)... i'm sorry i thought that you wanted to go out on a date and i don't think its proper
i just want to really get to know you better, i mean, just be friends and all. i've got one of my own, a family man. i'm just glad to have met you and would like you, including your partner, to be my friend.
oh. ok. sure. yeah, we could be friends! i'm sorry i thought... sige, thanks.
assumptions. so embarrassing. ASSUME - makes an "ass" out of "u" & "me"
i was trying not read to it as flirting. but with the way he asked for dinner & coffee. and his questions about relationships. i ended up assuming anyway. and getting embarrassed at my wrong assumption.
mental note: di dapat maging assumptionista.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
closing shop
it's been exactly three years since i started this enterprise experiment. out of a whim, i invested in this. with nary an experience in running a business of this size. it was good, very good for the first two years. because of this, i was able to generate additional revenues to fund the construction of the house.
then things started going south. first it was the protracted construction of the road in front. customers started shying away. then the perpetual challenge of attracting and keeping personnel. especially cooks and help.
then finally, when the road was done, competitors started mushrooming all over the place. they sell at lower price points that i cannot match.
a perfect storm for the nano-enterprise.
pc asked me, what's the MBA solution to this? that question put me in the defensive. yes, with my MBA with honors, with my track record in my industry, yet i can't solve the problem of this itsy-bitsy teeny weeny little enterprise!
but it was an honest question that deserved an honest answer.
i would have to review the revenue-generation first and foremost. study how to bring those customers back in. and that might mean lowering the price points. and do grassroots promotions like flyers, consumer promos. then look at my cost structure and try to maximize that. pump in more capital to 'renovate' and attract attention again.
a lot i could still do. and that meant a lot of effort. which is the bottomline of it. i do not have time (and admittedly, the patience) to turn things around. just too much effort. and with so much on my lap in my day job, i just can't bring myself to exert all that effort.
there will be displacement of the employees. and that is what i still have to think about. i just cannot 'let them go' without thinking of where they will go. i will have to pray about that.
so i will be winding down this month, taking inventories and pulling out. it was good, very good while it lasted. and in the process, i got to know many people, a community actually. and that is fulfilling in itself.
time to say goodbye.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
then things started going south. first it was the protracted construction of the road in front. customers started shying away. then the perpetual challenge of attracting and keeping personnel. especially cooks and help.
then finally, when the road was done, competitors started mushrooming all over the place. they sell at lower price points that i cannot match.
a perfect storm for the nano-enterprise.
pc asked me, what's the MBA solution to this? that question put me in the defensive. yes, with my MBA with honors, with my track record in my industry, yet i can't solve the problem of this itsy-bitsy teeny weeny little enterprise!
but it was an honest question that deserved an honest answer.
i would have to review the revenue-generation first and foremost. study how to bring those customers back in. and that might mean lowering the price points. and do grassroots promotions like flyers, consumer promos. then look at my cost structure and try to maximize that. pump in more capital to 'renovate' and attract attention again.
a lot i could still do. and that meant a lot of effort. which is the bottomline of it. i do not have time (and admittedly, the patience) to turn things around. just too much effort. and with so much on my lap in my day job, i just can't bring myself to exert all that effort.
there will be displacement of the employees. and that is what i still have to think about. i just cannot 'let them go' without thinking of where they will go. i will have to pray about that.
so i will be winding down this month, taking inventories and pulling out. it was good, very good while it lasted. and in the process, i got to know many people, a community actually. and that is fulfilling in itself.
time to say goodbye.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Sunday, July 3, 2011
winner ang weiner ni weiner
yeah. this is a tad too late. old news, actually. but his photos and this whole brouhaha just has me reflecting.
the wiener is a winner, i have to admit that. and he maintains himself pretty well. he is a few years older than me so i know it's quite an effort to maintain that AND be a congressman. but he ain't my type.
that torso shot is so grindr! actually, all the shots are reminiscent of grindr! and sometimes, even facebook.
when i first learned of the photos, i was so curious to find out how 'bad' it was. seeing these on the net surprised me. the photos are nothing so spectacularly offensive or pornographic, to my mind. it's self-promotion and narcissism, borne out of feeling great about one's looks and physical development.
and it's so like me. and hundred and thousands more like him out there. at least, this guy's got some equipment worth bragging about! and he puts pictures of himself. so many self-promoting romeos out there don't even use their own photos.
so what's all the gaga over this? well, reading the articles and arguments, i conclude that it's about the cyber infidelity. the cyber promiscuity. of an elected u.s. official. if it was just you or me, the average joes, people couldn't care less. but you got somebody like him, who campaigned and gave you all these promises, who is actually on your payroll as a taxpayer, then no less than your head is in order.
i'd like to counter-argue by saying that, hey, that's a purely personal thing. what has that got to do with performance in office? but in politics and showbiz, nothing is purely personal. and more importantly, the way they seem to look at this there in the u.s., performance in office, oh they have argued how such lapses in judgment will spill over to lapses in performance in public office.
how different it is for the philippines, methinks. if that happened here, yeah, we'd get all curious and debate and have jokes. but i dont think any elected official would get booted out or even voluntarily resign because of this. we have a clearer delineation between performance in office and personal infidelities. none the two shall meet.
so who's better off?
the wiener is a winner, i have to admit that. and he maintains himself pretty well. he is a few years older than me so i know it's quite an effort to maintain that AND be a congressman. but he ain't my type.
that torso shot is so grindr! actually, all the shots are reminiscent of grindr! and sometimes, even facebook.
when i first learned of the photos, i was so curious to find out how 'bad' it was. seeing these on the net surprised me. the photos are nothing so spectacularly offensive or pornographic, to my mind. it's self-promotion and narcissism, borne out of feeling great about one's looks and physical development.
and it's so like me. and hundred and thousands more like him out there. at least, this guy's got some equipment worth bragging about! and he puts pictures of himself. so many self-promoting romeos out there don't even use their own photos.
so what's all the gaga over this? well, reading the articles and arguments, i conclude that it's about the cyber infidelity. the cyber promiscuity. of an elected u.s. official. if it was just you or me, the average joes, people couldn't care less. but you got somebody like him, who campaigned and gave you all these promises, who is actually on your payroll as a taxpayer, then no less than your head is in order.
i'd like to counter-argue by saying that, hey, that's a purely personal thing. what has that got to do with performance in office? but in politics and showbiz, nothing is purely personal. and more importantly, the way they seem to look at this there in the u.s., performance in office, oh they have argued how such lapses in judgment will spill over to lapses in performance in public office.
how different it is for the philippines, methinks. if that happened here, yeah, we'd get all curious and debate and have jokes. but i dont think any elected official would get booted out or even voluntarily resign because of this. we have a clearer delineation between performance in office and personal infidelities. none the two shall meet.
so who's better off?
Friday, July 1, 2011
SAHC: Joy of Reading
Im looking for a copy of The Front Runner by Patricia Nell Warren. This is such a seminal piece of literature for me. i think i was in college when it hit the bookstands. and because i didnt have cash then, i asked my friend to buy it. but i read it first. i fisnished it in a few hours. i couldnt put it down. i can still remember the tears welling up around the saddest part of the novel.
i discovered the joy of reading early. i was going through our encyclopedia britannica (every home had one then!). focusing on dogs, dinosaurs and human anatomy. then i started young detective stories. none other than that titian-haired sleuth nancy drew! i read a few hardy boys books, too. even alfred hitchcock had a series of books with three young investigators.
i got this from my dad, who loved reading, too. funny how the taste in books was the outward manifestation of my own growing sense of self and sexuality. after graduating from the juvenile detective, i naturally turned to the adult novels (and started tackling the thicker books!)
i remember reading, almost guiltily, 'the other side of midnight' by sidney sheldon. boy, was that racy! explicit! some sexual images remain stuck in my mind. (the use of ice cubes while giving head!).
i wouldnt call myself a voracious reader, though. i'd read what my dad or my sisters would have on hand. through the years, that has included horror novels (amityville horror, stephen king novels), espionage thrillers (robert ludlum's bourne series), some classics (of mice and men, lord of the flies, a tolstoy one i can't remember now). then some philosophy ones and essays (anthony de mello is a favorite) and finally of course, the gay novels.
discovering that literature genre coincided with my gay evolution. there was consenting adult (that precipitated my coming out to my parents), the fancy dancer (also by p nell warren), tblbitw (the best little boy in the world). (as i was getting into relationships) but gay novels here in the phils. were few and far between then. so id content myself with what was available or what i could borrow from friends.
then life happened. worklife. and i began reading less and less. save for magazines and the dailies. a colleague made me read david sedaris. i enjoyed that. and 'the god of small things' by arundhati roy (?). that was powerful. kite runner was so emotional. i finished that while vacationing alone.
i have rediscovered the joy of reading. i've decided to clear the backlog. and that backlog suddenly increased with the e-books ive filched! hehe and really, i have pc to thank for. he remains an avid reader. and he loves sharing titles he enjoys (like murakami).
however, i havent gotten back to queer literature. now that it is a dime a dozen, i hesitate to get back to it. i need referrals to well-written ones, with good plots. id like to immerse myself again in some beautiful gay story and be enraptured.
any suggestions?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
i discovered the joy of reading early. i was going through our encyclopedia britannica (every home had one then!). focusing on dogs, dinosaurs and human anatomy. then i started young detective stories. none other than that titian-haired sleuth nancy drew! i read a few hardy boys books, too. even alfred hitchcock had a series of books with three young investigators.
i got this from my dad, who loved reading, too. funny how the taste in books was the outward manifestation of my own growing sense of self and sexuality. after graduating from the juvenile detective, i naturally turned to the adult novels (and started tackling the thicker books!)
i remember reading, almost guiltily, 'the other side of midnight' by sidney sheldon. boy, was that racy! explicit! some sexual images remain stuck in my mind. (the use of ice cubes while giving head!).
i wouldnt call myself a voracious reader, though. i'd read what my dad or my sisters would have on hand. through the years, that has included horror novels (amityville horror, stephen king novels), espionage thrillers (robert ludlum's bourne series), some classics (of mice and men, lord of the flies, a tolstoy one i can't remember now). then some philosophy ones and essays (anthony de mello is a favorite) and finally of course, the gay novels.
discovering that literature genre coincided with my gay evolution. there was consenting adult (that precipitated my coming out to my parents), the fancy dancer (also by p nell warren), tblbitw (the best little boy in the world). (as i was getting into relationships) but gay novels here in the phils. were few and far between then. so id content myself with what was available or what i could borrow from friends.
then life happened. worklife. and i began reading less and less. save for magazines and the dailies. a colleague made me read david sedaris. i enjoyed that. and 'the god of small things' by arundhati roy (?). that was powerful. kite runner was so emotional. i finished that while vacationing alone.
i have rediscovered the joy of reading. i've decided to clear the backlog. and that backlog suddenly increased with the e-books ive filched! hehe and really, i have pc to thank for. he remains an avid reader. and he loves sharing titles he enjoys (like murakami).
however, i havent gotten back to queer literature. now that it is a dime a dozen, i hesitate to get back to it. i need referrals to well-written ones, with good plots. id like to immerse myself again in some beautiful gay story and be enraptured.
any suggestions?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
a pc situationer
ive read some emails wondering if im still single. i thought i had communicated my 'doubled' status quote clearly. and then i realized that it has been a while since i have even mentioned pc in any posts.
pc is a very private person, though he used to blog himself when there were just a handful of pinoy bloggers. so i hesitate to just divulge our life carelessly. and more importantly, my life attached is quite uneventful, compared to my single life.
we are both quite busy, him with his studies. we meet twice a week, one of which would be a saturday. when we hang out here at home, it is usually to catch up on movies and glee. pc is usually updated with movies but he doesnt mind watching some good ones again! i bought the bluray of LOTR extended releases recently. so we have hours and hours of watching to do.
we do the malling bit, too. and dining out. he likes introducing me to restos he enjoys. and he has such fine-tuned taste buds and fantastic memory. so its truffle pasta at bizu, lobster at old manila, and putanesca at caruso, for example.
of course, nothing beats my mom's cooking, so he looks forward to dinners with my folks. and he has endeared himself to them with his varied stories from readings and travel. from time to time, we would just hang out at roof deck and drink some wine and listen to music.
the old soul that pc is, he re-acquainted me with reading and classical music, including opera. and because of his influence, im attempting to reach those tenor notes!
do we fight? we have our tampuhans. we once had this loong conversation over the phone. but it wasnt getting heated. debating was more like it.
soon it will be one year. and when i look back at those emo times, i just smile or even laugh. i am blessed to have been given another chance at love. and im making sure i treasure this chance well.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
pc is a very private person, though he used to blog himself when there were just a handful of pinoy bloggers. so i hesitate to just divulge our life carelessly. and more importantly, my life attached is quite uneventful, compared to my single life.
we are both quite busy, him with his studies. we meet twice a week, one of which would be a saturday. when we hang out here at home, it is usually to catch up on movies and glee. pc is usually updated with movies but he doesnt mind watching some good ones again! i bought the bluray of LOTR extended releases recently. so we have hours and hours of watching to do.
we do the malling bit, too. and dining out. he likes introducing me to restos he enjoys. and he has such fine-tuned taste buds and fantastic memory. so its truffle pasta at bizu, lobster at old manila, and putanesca at caruso, for example.
of course, nothing beats my mom's cooking, so he looks forward to dinners with my folks. and he has endeared himself to them with his varied stories from readings and travel. from time to time, we would just hang out at roof deck and drink some wine and listen to music.
the old soul that pc is, he re-acquainted me with reading and classical music, including opera. and because of his influence, im attempting to reach those tenor notes!
do we fight? we have our tampuhans. we once had this loong conversation over the phone. but it wasnt getting heated. debating was more like it.
soon it will be one year. and when i look back at those emo times, i just smile or even laugh. i am blessed to have been given another chance at love. and im making sure i treasure this chance well.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursdays with CC: Mentors and Models
i have been lucky to have been exposed to many role models as i progressed through my career. one particular person stands out in my memory. he was a former health undersecretary, with sterling academic credentials. i met him when my boss consulted with him on some communication projects we were undertaking. the topic we were discussing was not up mr usec's expertise. and as my boss was explaining, he suddenly launched into an elegant summary of the topic, a wonderfully simple and succinct framework to begin the discussion. i was floored! this was an example of intellectual brilliance at work. and i surmised that it was actually the knowledge and application of certain fundamental, logical frameworks that made him transcend his 'ignorance' of the topic and just comprehend effortlessly! i knew then that i wanted to learn and imbibe that analytical perspective.
but beyond models worth emulating, i have had the good fortune of having superiors who mentored me. as much as i would like to name them and honor them, my circumstances prevent me. but i could still talk about them with fondness and respect.
my first would be my college professor-turned-friend. he was crush ng bayan then. and though he wasnt particularly impressed with my performance in his class, he hired me as his research assistant when i applied. and through that, we became good friends. he was guiding me as i started my teaching. and although i didnt pursue that career path, i value his insights on education.
my stint in advertising exposed me to this lady who didnt seem to fit the 'ad agency' mold, she was maternal, almost dowdy. but from her i learned the value of precise communication and time management. she was OC to a fault. and i learned to be one myself.
during my short time with the health department, i was directly under a boss considered one of the "elders" of the advertising industry. we were part of a small communications project. and we were understaffed. so no layers between us. and he gladly took me under his wing to hone my marketing communications expertise, all 23 years of me. he was one tough boss. quite scary actually. but i learned so much in the critical analysis of communication campaigns, marketing, documentation, etc. and i soaked it all in! he was the first one who was consciously mentoring me, making sure i learned and i learned fast. i had a short "runway".
im down to the last two mentors of my life, two i met in my current company. one is the owner, a second generation visionary who treated me like a son. he also was conscious to impart life lessons to me, on top of running the business. a true entrepreneur, he is also religious and philosophical, too. which made for great, insightful conversations. but most of all, i learned the value of empowerment, responsibility from him. for he is truly empowering. and despite his stature, he does listen to my ideas, and allows me to implement freely.
the other mentor i hold in such high deference is the former chief executive, who has since retired. he is a professional manager through and through. and his knowledge of all aspects of operations is comprehensive. in contrast to the owner, he treated me as a peer. hence it was less "mentoring" and more of just consultations and concordance with business decisions. this is consistent with his very humble persona. also deeply religious but never preachy, he is the epitome of integrity. his wisdom i still consult to this day. and one i truly aspire to be like.
seek out models and mentors. look for those from whom you seek to learn. identify and be precise about what you admire about them. that is the starting point for your own growth.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
but beyond models worth emulating, i have had the good fortune of having superiors who mentored me. as much as i would like to name them and honor them, my circumstances prevent me. but i could still talk about them with fondness and respect.
my first would be my college professor-turned-friend. he was crush ng bayan then. and though he wasnt particularly impressed with my performance in his class, he hired me as his research assistant when i applied. and through that, we became good friends. he was guiding me as i started my teaching. and although i didnt pursue that career path, i value his insights on education.
my stint in advertising exposed me to this lady who didnt seem to fit the 'ad agency' mold, she was maternal, almost dowdy. but from her i learned the value of precise communication and time management. she was OC to a fault. and i learned to be one myself.
during my short time with the health department, i was directly under a boss considered one of the "elders" of the advertising industry. we were part of a small communications project. and we were understaffed. so no layers between us. and he gladly took me under his wing to hone my marketing communications expertise, all 23 years of me. he was one tough boss. quite scary actually. but i learned so much in the critical analysis of communication campaigns, marketing, documentation, etc. and i soaked it all in! he was the first one who was consciously mentoring me, making sure i learned and i learned fast. i had a short "runway".
im down to the last two mentors of my life, two i met in my current company. one is the owner, a second generation visionary who treated me like a son. he also was conscious to impart life lessons to me, on top of running the business. a true entrepreneur, he is also religious and philosophical, too. which made for great, insightful conversations. but most of all, i learned the value of empowerment, responsibility from him. for he is truly empowering. and despite his stature, he does listen to my ideas, and allows me to implement freely.
the other mentor i hold in such high deference is the former chief executive, who has since retired. he is a professional manager through and through. and his knowledge of all aspects of operations is comprehensive. in contrast to the owner, he treated me as a peer. hence it was less "mentoring" and more of just consultations and concordance with business decisions. this is consistent with his very humble persona. also deeply religious but never preachy, he is the epitome of integrity. his wisdom i still consult to this day. and one i truly aspire to be like.
seek out models and mentors. look for those from whom you seek to learn. identify and be precise about what you admire about them. that is the starting point for your own growth.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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