Wednesday, August 29, 2007

the pain that comes with it

partner arrived last saturday afternoon. enigma and i were together till saturday lunch. he was still making light of the situation, still teasing me that i must be very excited. we went to the mall to take lunch and i had to leave him to fetch partner.

partner and i spent the afternoon to early evening playing badminton with friends, friends who were with enigma and me just last weekend. they were having a ball teasing me quietly.

we were supposed to go out, malate or makati but we ended up at the unit. he was leaving the following day. though there was a lot of intimacy, (hugging and kissing), we curiously did not 'consumate'. hmmm.

i didnt get in touch with enigma the entire time. neither did he.

but after partner left, i texted him, inviting him to dinner. all i got was "busy" as reply.

uh-oh. not good. not good. i asked him how he was. ":(" and as i pressed on - "m sad and lonely pero wala akong magawa"

reality sets in for us. pain is part of this affair. i was dreading that he might just opt to quit. we didnt see each other that night. what a waste.

following day was a little better. we saw each other in the mall. strained at first. awkward. not knowing how to talk to each other. i asked him how he was. "kailangan ok ako, di ba?" and asked him about the text. he hesitated discussing it. "kasi wala naman akong magagawa, di ba?" "honestly, may magagawa ba ako? di ba dapat ibahin ko ang nararamdaman ko? yun lang ang pwede"

we didnt spend the night together though things lightened up shortly after. i brought him to the terminal.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

As an economist, I learned early on that we are provided with a menu of options and we have to make a choice (eventually). We can't have both. Ragnar

closet case said...

mutually exclusive events require choices to be made. what if these are not mutually exclusive but could be overlapping? hehehe

Anonymous said...

I hope you make your choice. you're not being fair to your partner nor to your mistress enigma. You'll end up hurting them both and in the end hurting yourself. Akin nalang yung isa. Joke. hehe. just wanted to poke some fun. Seriously, chose one. Tapos update us. :)

closet case said...

pain is already all over, except maybe for partner who remains in the dark. perhaps his will be the most painful of all? i dont know when and how that choice will be made. blog has been the reality TV camera of this life of mine. don't know when this telenovela will end and how...

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

IMHO, the longer partner is in the dark. The more it'll hurt.
I think you know what to do.
It's all a matter of timing.

joelmcvie said...

CC: I really think you can make something out of all this. Turn your blog entries into a book, then sell!

Ito po ang Kumikitang Kabuhayan.

closet case said...

john, you are so right. i'm trying to discern best timing...

joel, pwede kaya maging novela eto? at maging telenovela? si piolo lang dapat ang gumanap na corp closet! :)

JOSH said...

is dat what one calls a way to martyrdom???

closet case said...

great question, josh... hmmm.

definitely, martir siya for sticking it out despite the situation and the pain. but whether its virtuous martyrdom, i am sure others will raise HELL in protest!

JCP said...

has partner shared his thoughts about how he is coping? i am in the same boat as he is.

late reader said...

Oh dear, your friends know enigma!

closet case said...

hello late reader. one is never late. thank you.