cc review: lihim ni antonio

good grief. i just watched this film after eons of being out there. i was finally able to get my copy and had the time to watch. my only goal was to look at josh ivan's frontal. and of course, i wasnt disappointed.

i wasnt disappointed with the film either, much to my surprise. i actually liked the story though i still find the ending a stretch. and i have to say that i was totally turned on by antonio's nocturnal 'compulsions'. i totally relate to those scenes, of wanting to caress and touch an object of passion as he sleeps. i was nowhere as successful as the boy antonio. but i recalled the emotion, a true compulsion.

i would sometimes sleep over a cousin's place. and at night, at a certain time, i would wake up, almost automatically. i'd slowly go over to his bed, so carefully. my heart would be beating so wildly i would think he'd wake up. i would stare at his semi-naked body, usually in his underwear. and i would be thrilled if he was lying on his back with his crotch in full view. i would literally take my time, pacing my moves to make sure he was in REM sleep. my goal was simply to touch his erect cock, a confirmation of how strong my homosexual feelings were.

and i was able to touch it, over his briefs. one time i recall trying to free it from the confines of his loose underwear. but i got too scared of waking him up.

yes, you can imagine how much i related to antonio. and how i felt he was so lucky to have had his dream fulfilled.

back to the movie. josh is just smoldering hot there. and about that ending, although the writer/director was logically laying the groundwork to lead up to that climax, i still felt that such a crime of passion was over the top.

nevertheless, i love the many meanings of 'lihim ni antonio'... finally ending with the real secret he will have to live with, for the rest of his life.