honesty is the best policy.
i want to be honest about the way i feel towards a sibling.
i want to tell her how i hated the way she hurt our folks.
I want her to know how much i loathe her for always thinking the world revolves around her and her problems.
so many things in this world. and its not all about her.
im itching to make her feel the pain of having been neglected by her all these years.
but what good will all this honesty do?
she will probably be furious and turn the tables on me.
we will get into this big argument and write each other off.
she will not certainly not change because of my honesty.
and my folks, who manage to forgive her, will be deeply saddened if they realize we have burned our bridges.
if it wont change her. if it will result in more pain, with a fallout beyond us.
why do i want to be honest in the 1st place?
i want to express myself not for her sake but for my sake.
i want to come clean. i want to get it off my chest.
i know that i would also manage to get even by hurting her with such honesty.
honesty was all about me.
for the sake of peace. for the sake of self-sacrifice.
i choose not to be honest.
i choose peace over honesty.
i make everybody happy, including myself.
yes, i made me happy.
happy because choosing not to be honest
was really self-sacrifice. and self-denial.
i know some would ask.
what price, peace?
4 comments:
hello, kapatid. i can so relate. naku, ayan, naiiyak tuloy ako. pero pause muna ang emote ko. heto ang 2 libro na binabasa ko. baka makatulong din sa iyo:
1. crucial conversations (patterson et al)
2. nonviolent communication (rosenberg)
tell that to kris aquino and her siblings...
one thing I learned recently, it is better to be kind than to be right all the time. and... I really do feel that honesty is overrated.
it's easier said than done but family is a life-long commitment... it's best to take it slow and pick the right time to be honest.
Very maturely handled.
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