i scare me. i find myself in this pattern of dating, intense attraction, more dating, only to find that interest wanes, not as quickly as it started. more of a slow fade out. i've come to expect it. that's why dating me comes with a disclaimer "im not into relationships, ha?" though people around me think that's b.s. that i actually start out dating thinking, hoping, praying that SABEL.. THIS MUST BE LOVE. i go through the motions and emotions. i start thinking about him. i fantasize. i justify. then the scary part starts. the attraction starts to fade. my attention turns to another guy. im no longer looking forward to the next date, the next meeting. the text messages become less and less frequent. the intimacy dims. until... the next guy.
sometimes, i think, i wouldnt date me.
9 comments:
Sometimes, being fed up is good.
'Sweet disgust' which enables us to see our own role in making our life a painful web of grasping demands, insecurities, anger, envy, and resentment should not lead to self-condemnation. Instead, with a spirit of intrigue and hope, it should inspire us to take small steps each day to understand our reactions so we can put this insight into a practical response that creates more freedom. What a wonderful result of an initially negative experience!
Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-resilient-life/200909/when-being-fed-is-good
And here I am about to ask you out for a date.
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Ahhh... You scare me, CC.
CC ... my 0.02 (Two cents worth) ... don't be concerned ... that's ok. At least your interest wanes after dates. I sometimes find myself losing interest after the first couple exchange of text messages.
i think you like the idea of being in love but you've never really fallen in love with anyone....yet. true love doesn't fade.
Forgive me for this. There is no judgment here, just an observation.
There seems to be internal struggle. You seem to want to settle down but you also enjoy the freedom. Perhaps an open relationship could solve that dilemma?
Then again, maybe you're just enjoying the single life. Or you could also just enjoy the thrill of the chase and when you feel you've got the guy already, you lose interest. It could also be a defense mechanism protecting you from getting hurt again.
Whatever reason it may be, maybe the best course of action is to find out why the pattern persists. When did it first start? What incident happened during that time? What is it do you really want? What are you willing to do (or not do) to get what you want?
I'm going through something similar. Not really the losing interest part. More of the not-into-relationships part. Why? Because I'm afraid of getting hurt again.
ipressure ba naman ang sarili pag nakikipg-date. hindi naman lahat ng date, lovers ang ending. mas maganda yung walang iniexpect.
i'm starting to get scared of myself too.
someone just reminded me of what i originally wanted when i decided to get into this whole gay thing.
I agree with Ming Meows. Dates should be fun and exciting. If you guys don't end up together, at least man lang friends. Having a lot of friends, the real kind, is a blessing naman. :)
How about you try it the other way around? Maybe try to date someone you're not really attracted to (I don't mean someone you find ugly, just someone you don't really have sparks with). Get to know him slowly, and maybe the interest will build up.
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