generation gap

active or passive?
giver or receiver?
TOP or BOTTOM?

(kindly deadma the picture, wala lang akong mailagay)

this is a classic case of generation gap. i continue to be shocked when 20somethings ask me this. i never knew till now that penetration is such an integral part of the act. wow. "its like, its not consumated if there's no fucking..."

my take on evolution:

sinaunang panahon - straight "macho" guy and effeminate fag "shoke" (two syllables po). that was the only combination. if you were gay, you were supposed to run after straight guys and get off on either jerking him off or giving him head. and there's no loss of masculinity on their part. and heaven forbid if you start jerking yourself off while blowing him. rarely, he would penetrate you. kissing? hardly. i grew up with this consciousness.

generation ko - gay to gay. pangit pakinggan no? okay MSM men having sex with men. but this time, both of you are homosexual, enjoying mutual sexual satisfaction, heavy petting and kissing ending up in mutual jerk-off or blowjobs, especially the iconic "69". very western, started becoming trendy in the 80's as Coco Banana was in its twilight years. anal penetration was not rampant at all. we all had fun with fellatio.

this generation - still MSM, but with anal penetration as SOP. wow. roles more defined: TOP or BOTTOM, or VERSA (sounds like a car model).

am i complaining? hmmm. kinda. im still not THAT comfortable with anal sex, giving or receiving. i can have great sex without it. and with the AIDS still very much around, putting on rubber has become a chore.

top or bottom? me? VERSA! pero pwede bang kiss-sabay-hug na lang muna?

Istanbul Wardrobe

fashionista

i am into fashion... no, not designing. just dressing up, looking good. im a metrohomosexual. hahaha.
i started really getting into it when i lost a significant amount of flab. i figured i could finally fit into those tight fitting shirts (mahig-fit baga).

everytime i travel, i plan out my wardrobe weeks in advance. first, i choose the general color scheme or palette for the trip. this depends on the season, and of course, what's hot. for my bora trip, i chose aqua blue, white, lighter shades of grey, a bit of the nautical, without the stripes. (aqua is still the hot cool color). based on this palette, i look at what i have. tops (shirts, tank tops), shorts, pants, footwear and accessories. i mix and match the top with bottom. then i shop for what i still don't have.

i enjoy shopping only when i have something in mind. the search for that perfect pair or accessory becomes a mission to be fulfilled. for the recent bora trip, i still needed: white pair of board shorts, short-sleeve collared shirt in a shade of aqua, blue & white tank tops, white flip flops, white fedora-type woven hat. i found the shorts in monna kikki (the billabong one was just too much), and the collared cotton shirt. white flip flops from crocs (not havaianas, hate them because they're too flat and stiff). i tried to look for the woven hat in top man, chocolate & tonic shops... expensive and not exactly what i wanted. i finally got the one i really wanted in bora!

for my trip to istanbul-dubai, im looking at neutral tones (greys, whites, creams) with some light colors to match (light yellow, pink, blue). i have laid my wardrobe for the next two weeks on my dining table. i check and double check before packing. i still needed grey pin-striped shorts, shirts with grey and blue accents.

a note on having a color palette: this helps a lot in having lighter luggages. when i went to beijing last year, i chose earth tones and nature colors (forest green, khaki). i had a good pair of brown leather hiking boots only. i didnt have to bring different pairs of shoes to match with different sets of apparel.

from here on, i'll be sharing some fashion tips for those who might want to know..

kikay no?

on being d' boss

two of my direct reports have recently resigned. one of them has been with the firm for 12 years, the other 5 years. they recently sent me their bye-bye letters. and i am touched by the way they look at me as their 'best boss' ever.

honestly, i dont think of myself much of a 'boss'. though in the closet, i behave as naturally as i could. and that means some slip-ups from time to time LOL (that's another post!). seriously, though, i am proud that i have helped the firm achieve leadership in certain categories. and i've been asked quite a number of times "how do you do it?"

in the hope that some of you may actually pick up a thing or two, here are some random thoughts on leadership and management:
- you have to love developing people, seeing them grow, mature and take on more responsibility. be secure enough about your own abilities to let people shine on their own. proudly proclaim their achievements. give them credit where credit is due.
- learn to think big picture first. though situations and problems are complex, most could be reduced to a few critical variables. I have asked all my team members to give me summary first before diving into the details. Zoom out then zoom in.
- you could be a leader without the position. leadership is influencing, motivating people to achieve positive communal goals.
- if you have the position, earn the respect. don't assume that the position will automatically grant you the respect from your peers and your people. work for it. reach out, understand, listen, decide...
- follow through, always. once projects are started, follow through. implement, monitor, adjust if necessary. this is where a lot of managers fail.
- be kind but firm. compassionate but decisive.

hmmm. enough for now...

you make me wanna...

readers, your comments make me wanna blog some more. i just wanna thank you for taking time out to write, whether you agree with me or not. ayan tuloy, dumadami na naman ang post ko. salamat po!

prinsipyo Part 2

Case 2

i have a girl friend (note the spelling) who's based in the U.S. for the longest time, she was TNT. finally she was able to hook up with a cute american who married her and her papers are being processed as we speak. the sad note to this otherwise happy ending is the cutie american is not exactly mr perfect. let's just say he has anger management problems. (no, nothing physical but verbal) before they got married, it was getting pretty bad that she told her sisters about it. naturalmente, her sisters (settled U.S. citizens with families) were totally against the relationship. but despite that, cutie american mended his ways and went through counselling (oh di ba?). so girl friend welcomed him back and they got married.

sisters remain highly suspicious and critical of the relationship. so they have started to distance themselves from girl friend. it was their way of telling her of their disapproval. girl friend continues to reach out but gets shut out. i guess that as long as she remains married to him, they will remain cold.

different spin:

should sisters continue to stay cold and distant because they believe he is the wrong man for her?

is this a case of 'standing your ground', wanting to see someone you love correct her behavior by changing your own behavior towards her?