Saturday, June 2, 2007

prinsipyo vs friendster

lately, i have been encountering friends and family who seem to be having some internal conflict.

Case 1:
he is a very dear friend of mine. we went to school together. intelligent, loud, witty and very entertaining. he knows my partner personally, too. i share my secrets with him, including all those that i post here. he seems to enjoy the juicy stories, the sex-capades. one time, he was honest enough to admit that he has been struggling with my "infidelity disclosures". he believes strongly in a faithful, exclusive relationship, regardless of gender. and as much as he enjoys my company and my stories, he remains 'unhappy' that i am unfaithful. and knowing my partner personally made matters worse for him.

he is careful not to 'judge' me but hasn't judgment been made already?

should he stand his ground and simply let go of our friendship? should this be a way of 'standing by his principles' and showing his disapproval of my ways?

or is there a middle ground somewhere... he remains a friend and listens and enjoys and accepts while remaining true to his principle by not practicing it himself?

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

i would continue loving the "sinner" even if i do not agree with the acts being committed. all i can do is give my advise, because in the end, everything is a personal choice.

Anonymous said...

Hi - I think the middle-ground is practiced by not imposing your morality on others. Every single relationship is unique, so is every person: what's good for one may not be so for another.

Congrats for a well-written blog..

Best regards..Homie

Anonymous said...

Wow. Talk about being a little too self-involved.

Why don't you think about the position you're putting your friend in?

Might as well ask all your future potential friends if they're willing to stab someone in the back for you.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Anonymous... You are both old enough to decide for yourselves... A friend can only give advice.. at the end of the day, it will be your call.

Maybe a healthy compromise is "not to share too much information" that you know might upset him...

I believe that you two share so many stories more than your sexcapades. =)

D.C.

closet case said...

thanks for all the comments. i really didnt mean to put my friend in that situation. i felt it so natural to share what was happening to me, both the good, the kilig and the bad.

Anonymous said...

"should he stand his ground and simply let go of our friendship?"

Stand his ground? Yes, no problem.

Simply let go of the friendship? Not necessarily.

I love you, friend, whatever happens!

Mr. Chopsticks

Boyd said...

I have a friend who does E and talks about it like it was coffee.

One time I had too much of it and told her, "you know what, i'm not comfortable talking about you taking E as if you almost did not die of it. "

and we agreed not to talk about it ever again.

with friends you sometimes have to agree to disagree. consensus is the best, but compromise is good enough. you go on with you adventures and he will not accost you for it. as long as you don't talk to him about it.

closet case said...

very well said, boyd!