exasperated, frustrated

18 weeks i consulted the nutrition counselor. 18 weeks of tediously writing down my food intake. there was steady but slow progress towards my goals. on the 17th week, i was at 18.8% body fat. my lowest ever. with only one week to go, she was telling me to go for gold and achieve at least 17.9% body fat. i still had one more week. for three consecutive weeks, i had been dropping body fat percentages anyway. i was so motivated. Go for Gold!

i ran 25kms for the week. completed all my weight training. added more sets to my daily abs workout. there was NO way i would NOT achieve that. my schedule became hectic. so i decided that skipping some snacks would help the body fat burn. there were longer periods between meals. i cut calories drastically.

i was excited to get measured again. the last weigh-in.

the numbers numbed me. my body fat% went up to 19.8% again. though my weight remained the same, the fat composition adjusted upward and there was some loss of muscle.

i was livid. my nutritionist told me that she actually saw it coming when she received my journal for the week. she found my calorie intake so erratic. it was like i became too conscious of the calories. and my body adjusted by conserving fat.

the body is never a simple machine. it isn't just a calorie equation. the body takes in many other factors as it tries to adjust. skipping snacks, the long durations when i wasn't consuming any calories was one wrong move. with all the energy expenditure i was doing, my body just went into immediate conservation mode, thinking i might need my energy reserves soon.

so much effort. yet results are wanting. im tired. frustrated.

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