a modern family (subtitle: i love annette bening)

the kids are all right. yes, they are. even if they are products of in vitro fertilization from some sperm donor. even if they born to a lesbian couple. even if that couple faces some tough relationship issues like parenting, like infidelity.

it's a good movie. yeah. a feel-good movie. a traditional movie wrapped in a very non-traditional packaging.

made me think of the many definitions of family. of what it means to be a parent, a father.

a small part of me is curious about how my offspring would look. how he or she might turn out. it's really vanity more than anything. yet it was enough for me to consider surrogacy.

but honestly, i don't have that nurturant gene, i suppose. i know friends who seem to have that. and one could see an earnest desire to raise a family. all i have is curiosity. and that's certainly not compelling enough to really pursue having kids.

and besides, i wouldn't want my kid to go through a possibly difficult childhood because of his/her parent's sexuality. it is a jungle out there, of bullies and righteous folk. just imagine what the kid will go through when people find out that the parent/s is/are gay.

so the movie presents a 'normal' face to this modern family. kids are well adjusted. they are straight. and they have their buddies and their teenage issues. all is well. the movie focuses on some other family issue that threatens to destabilize - getting acquainted, too well at some point, with the sperm donor/biological parent.

i'm cynical, thinking that being raised by gay parents could not lead to 'normal' childhood. but i could be very wrong. i know of a gay couple (homosexual) who are raising this beautiful daughter (now 8yo). and she is really beautiful. and they made sure she is always beautiful. and smart. she doesn't seem to have issues. and she just accepts her two dads. and she is popular in school, doing quite well.

another friend of mine has a lover who is raising a son as a single parent. and the kid, a boy this time, also looks happy and 'nurtured'. even as he is introduced to different 'titos" (the different boyfriends his father has had). well, he is 6yo now. and also seems to be doing fine.

'seems to be doing fine' notice the caution in my tone. i still fear that soon, in their young lives, the sexuality of their parents will become an issue, a concern. i hope to be proven wrong eventually.

and on another note.


annette bening. i feel she deserves an oscar, soon. she was great in 'american beauty'. classy in 'love affair'. i love the restrain i see so much in her acting. yet the emotions are as palpable, as real.

she's nominated for this film, yet again. but i think she still won't get that oscar. maybe next time, she won't be up against hillary swank or natalie portman.