about THAT fabcast

we have been getting a lot of feedback from that Q&A part 4 fabcast, both positive and negative. and it has spawned comments and even blogposts, again both positive and negative! nothing like a controversial topic to become a lightning rod of sorts!

siyempre, makikisawsaw rin ako! and it starts with...

dear boyshiatsu,

salamat sa iyong pakikilahok sa aming talkayan! kababasa ko pa lang ng iyong post tungkol dito, na ginamitan mo ng napaka-creative na handle, ang Misa! bilib ako sa iyo!

nalungkot naman ako na mas lalo kang nabaliw dahil sa aming fabcast. baliw naman talaga kami! lol pero seriously, nagulat ako dun sa feedback na 'feeling na nabastos ka'. alam kong di namin sinadyang mambastos ng kahit sino, lalong lalo na ang isang listener/reader. kung ganun man ang dating, ako ay humihingi ng paumanhin.

sa tanong mo lumabas ang katotohanan na ang mga bading ay hindi nagkakaisa sa mga pananaw. kung ang hinahangad mo sa tanong na iyon ay mapulsuhan ang sankabadingan, marahil ang nakuha mong boses ay marami at magkakaiba. ganun talaga, kahit sa pagkaliit-liit na lupon ng Fabcasters at peanut gallery! iba't-iba ang aming mga background, mga current situation. yun na rin ang pinanggagalingan ng aming masigabong talakayan sa bawat fabcast.

ako, wala akong patumangging gumamit ng sex worker. at talaga namang napakinapabangan ko na ang marami-raming sex worker. mula sa therapist na dyakol lang ang serbis, hanggang sa mga indie actor na all the way. nagkaroon na rin ako ng lover na dating sex worker. at di malayong isipin na mahulog ang loob ko sa isang taong mabait, mapagmahal at sex worker on the side.

ngunit sinang-ayunan ko si migs nung fabcast. dahil naintindihan ko ang kanyang pinanggalingan. at aaminin ko rin na kahit ganun ako ka-liberal minded sa mga sex workers, di ko maaalis na magkakaroon ng ibang kulay ang aking pananaw pag nalaman kong sex work ang ginagawa ng isang tao, kahit isang saglit lang ng pagkukulay.

ang pakiramdam ko, yun lang naman ang gusto ni migs na lumabas mula sa mga fabcasters. ang tanggapin na kahit kaunti, may pagbabago o nagkakaroon ng ibang kulay ang pananaw ng taong binansagan na 'sex worker'. ngunit sadya ring hindi pala ganun. para sa iba sa amin, walang bahid sa pagkatao ang trabahong sex work.

boyshiatsu, malawak ang mundo ng bading. kahit na tayong mga bading ay biktima ng diskriminasyon at bias, makakatagpo ka pa rin ng mga bading na may angking diskriminasyon sa ibang bading. ngunit sa bawat matagpuan mong ganung bading, marahil mas marami ang malawak ang pang-unawa. at sadyang tatanggapin ka bilang ikaw, at iyong 'sideline' ay walang kinalaman sa kanilang pakikitungo sa iyo.

ang hangad ko para sa iyo ay kapayapaan sa iyong mga lifechoices. at kalakip nito ang self-respect. tulad na rin ng salitang pinaglilinayan mo sa blogpost mo - rispeto. rispeto sa sarili ang puno't dulo.

cc




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Entitlement

This has become such a bad word. Especially when 'demanding' good service.' You would think in this customer-centric world that good service is a foregone conclusion. But it isn't. Yes, there are industries where competition is tough and 'good service' is a baseline expectation. But ordinary retail outlets, mom & pop stores unfortunately do not always practice such as a credo.

So are you 'entitled' to good service? Depends on the industry. Depends on the circumstances. This reminds me of airline story. An FA (flight attendant) acquaintance of ours tells of the story of this Pinay be-ach in Business Class scolding the crew for being noisy. She was just giving everybody a good dress-down, expecting so much from them since she was in 'business class'. In retaliation, the crew did some pretty nasty things covertly. To her food. No, I won't get into any gross details. She felt entitled to 'good service' as she defined it. And she demanded it. And boy, did she get what she more than what she bargained for.

So now I watch my words when 'expecting' good service. Restaurants, bars. But then again, how will they learn to professionalize if you don't speak your mind out? I guess it will always be a case of exercising maximum tolerance first. Then exercise tact and judgment even if you are just fuming mad inside.

But what about employees? Shouldn't one expect good performance of duties and responsibilities since you are actually 'paying' labor wages? Why is it that when I was ranting about help and employees, some condemned me for being such an entitlted be-acH? I certainy do not agree. This is where I draw the line. Good performance must be demanded of employees. The salary must be earned well. Attention must be called to failure to perform satisfactorily. Of course, tact and judgment should still be used in correcting and penalizing.

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The Q&A Fabcast 2

this time, listener rocky posts the question related coming out. i won't preempt. :-D

Download this fabcast (right click and save)

this is interesting because the Fabcasters represent different levels of being out there.

“Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster The People
“I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross
“Lazy Calm” by Cocteau Twins
“I Am What I Am” by Gloria’s House

quickie KL

now waiting for my ride from the hotel to airport here in kuala lumpur. its been decades since ive been here. a lot more modern and upscale now.

they look like there is a lot of disposable income.

the fountain below, at bukit bintang, i found quite original. oriental bowls as bases!


tried to squeeze a visit to the petronas twin towers. but was aghast when i saw this queue at 10am



ended up shopping at the mall there, suriya klcc. pretty big and high-end. finally found the luggage ive been looking for. more of that on another post.

the new airport structure is also impressive. spotlessly clean. nice layout. but the terminal duty free shopping is so limited. i hope they take their cue from changi, or even bangkok, for a better shopping experience!

as for the eye candy... surprisingly i noticed pleasant looking guys in the malls! some of them look like they have south asian blood. and a few hunks, too.

no, this post does not end with a quickie with malaysian. :-) it ends with a note that id like to come back and see more of malaysia.

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Plugging

My friend Legal Eagle launched his blog recently. Diehard tennis fans, give myballsmyballs a read! Amazing how he can dissect, analyze the sport into smithereens! hehe Seriously, this is one guy who is into Tennis A LOT. His blog promises to also feature other "balls". Coming from him, that should mean a lot of posts cumming! LOL

Congratulations, Legal Eagle!

The Q&A Fabcast 1

listen in on us try something new. the phone-in question!

some selected mgg readers get to ask questions for fabcasters' discussion. we thought this was going to be one light & humorous fabcast. humorous, yes. but light? find out for yourself.

Part 1

Download this Fabcast (right click and save)

cc unwired

no cellphone contact for four days. korea has a different mobile system, it turns out. globe could have lent out a phone and number for roamers but i didnt know that.

then, as always in most major hotels, wifi costs an arm and a leg. worse is that most wifi in establishments are also for sale. it seems that free wifi here is not an added come-on for patrons.

i thought to myself: four days shouldn't be so bad. a chance to actually be unwired. to forego virtual and be real. just like in the old days.

it wasn't going to be so bad. i was still able to filch at a nearby mcdo outlet. so ill do that evenings. so friends and family need not worry.

no cellphone contact was actually quite... relaxing. getting connected was something i could choose at my pleasure. so i was still updated, in the evenings. i was all in the 'here and now' - so zen. but wanting to chat with pc was more challenging. our schedules couldn't connect. and those DM tweets were arriving late somehow.

upon arriving in manila midnight, when the flight attendant signalled that it was ok to open cellphones, i opened mine. good grief. it had no battery. even when it was off during the entire time, somehow the battery drained. how do i contact my driver?

my colleague who travelled with me offered his phone. i texted the driver to fetch me. then my colleague left.

10 minutes of waiting. i looked for a phone booth. and luckily had some change left. i called the house. dad answered but couldn't hear me. grrr. then a nice janitor offered his cellphone, for a fee, of course. finally connected with my driver.

i woke him up! he was still at home, thinking that i was arriving tomorrow! getting really pissed! stupid driver!

took the airport cab home. finally at my gate. i was ringing the doorbell. for 10 minutes. Goodness! the help wouldn't respond! they couldn't f**king hear the stupid doorbell??? i couldn't call them on the landline to wake them up! Thank God one of them woke up and opened the gate.

i was fuming mad i couldnt sleep right off.

being unwired sounds great and even romantic. but reality-check for me. i just can't unilaterally decide to go unconnected. not since im still working and i havent become a hermit. not when i wasnt able to prime others about it.

the wires have chained me to this new life. for better or for worse.

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lost seoul

im waiting for my flight back to manila. i did something stupid early this morning. i was battling with my self whether or not to run. i still had enough time. the hotel even has a map of a prescribed jogging trail. after 20 minutes of indecision, i decided to run anyway.

i headed off to the direction of samseong park, near the hotel supposedly. i was off on a whim that i didnt bring the map, any money. all i had was my trusted ipod Touch.

i felt great, easily getting a good stride early on. the morning breeze felt great. it was still quite cold since summer was just starting. school children and office workers casted me weird looks. i didnt see other runners around.

after about 20 minutes, i thought i was heading back. i was supposed to be just tracing a square around a few blocks in the area. then wham! suddenly, the road, the buildings didnt look familiar. it seemed like i was running too long. i should have started to see the hotel by then.

panic time. i was lost in seoul. i still tried to pursue the path i was taking before finally giving in and asking for directions. the first was a student. he looked surprised when i told him i was looking for coex samseoung station. i was really far off! good grief! i tried to follow his directions but stil couldnt find my way back.

i was already praying while running. then there was an oldder man, a construction worker. next was the old lady tending her newspaper stand. they were all nice enough to try to teach me. but language was a problem. i couldnt figure out how many "blocks" they were referring to.

my fourth attempt to get directions finally showed me the way. david, an engineer for GE walked with me to the street leading to my hotel. he was so nice to do so. we chatted while walking. and he has been to the philippines, cebu and manila. he visited a friend based in cebu five years ago.

i made it back. i was getting really worried that i might roam seoul aimlessly. lol. ill never do anything that stupid anymore. the nice thing about this trip is my new respect for koreans. i admit that i found the koreans who visited and/or studied here in manila rowdy and uncouth and rude. the ones i met in seoul, especially those who have visited manila i found really nice and friendly. and they only have the kindest words for Filipinos.

i may have been a lost soul in cold seoul for a short while there. but i finally saw their soul and found warmth.


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Location:Samseong-dong,Seoul,South Korea

curious case

straight, goodlooking guys mid-30's looking for bromance?

first it was iggy. lately, it has been lloyd. he is a client i had a chance to chat with at length. and somehow established some kind of friendship. he joined me during one of my runs. and we had dinner after.

the discussion was largely work-related. but i did establish that he is married with kids. though the family is based abroad. just like iggy, lloyd is extremely attactive. and seems so eager to "keep in touch". the invite for coffee or to join me in my exercise regimen.

do i detect anything fishy? (may lansa ba?) honestly, nothing. wishful thinking would want me to detect something. the conversations are neutral. mostly business and work. of course they are aware im still single. and i just tell them im staying that way, married to my career. im sure they know that is just some smokescreen.

so what drives them to want to establish new friendships with someone who is possibly gay?

for those interested in the iggy series:
iggy 01, iggy 02, iggy 03, iggy 04

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Location:De Jesus Ave,Quezon City,Philippines

Failed Recital

My voice teacher told me to grab every opportunity to perform. That is the only way i could gain confidence, practice my craft and most importantly, get feedback.

My coloratura tita and tenor tito just had lunch at the house. And they asked me to perform.

Fail. I sang four songs. I was nervous throughout. All the lessons on voice supports, head tone, etc went out the window. My voice was weak. And on the last song, my voice cracked. I was sweating profusely. It was embarrassing.

My tito and tita, my cousins, my parents were polite to give me an ovation. But I knew I did badly.

Back to the drawing board. Sigh.


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sheer driving pleasure

i do enjoy driving. i like the feeling of moving fast in a machine. growing up in our middle middle class family, we only had one family car. and the few times my dad tried to teach me how to drive in high school and college almost gave him a heart attack.

i wanted to drive so badly but couldnt afford a car. so that became my ultimate career motivation. after college, i enrolled at a driving school even if i had no car to drive yet. eventually, i chose an industry that gave managers company vehicles. and when i was about to be assigned a car, a lady colleague was nice enough to practice with me. and give me a blowjob in the process. but that's another story. :-)

anyway, i remember not liking my driving instructor in that driving school. i thought he was too bossy. and he demanded too much from me. LOL. and those days, even the steering wasn't power-assisted yet (pawis-steering). so it was actually quite difficult to drive then. but i finished anyway.

i was assigned a 2nd hand silver isuzu gemini. 2nd hand so i could 'practice' with it without feeling too bad about bumps and bruises. hehe. and there were quite a few. but heck, as embarrassed as i was figuring in an accident then, it wasnt going to deter me from driving.

my next car was a 2nd hand yellow mitsubishi lancer, box-type. (retro references) and i was already quite adept at driving by then. and beginning to enjoy the driving experience.

after that came my first brand new car - a 93 red toyota corolla, the model so new at that time. and since then, all the cars have been brand new. then i finally bought my own vehicle, an 95 midnight blue isuzu pick-up. back to the company vehicle, i've had a 99 white honda civic. that was followed by 2003 yellow ford escape. I purchased another vehicle, a 2005 innova (mainly for my dad), after selling the pick-up. Then I drove a 2008 black honda crv. I changed that to a 2010 white toyota prius. and finally, i purchased the 2010 red mazda mx5.

with the mx5, codenamed simply red, i have come full circle (from my red corolla!). and this car is an ultimate driving pleasure.

coming from subic, i took the sctex at around 5pm, perfect weather as the sun was setting. i had the pleasure of driving top down for that entire stretch of 90kms. and to prevent me from overspeeding, i finally learned how to use the 'cruise control' function.

wind everywhere as i was driving at 100kph (maximum driving limit), adele's rumor has it playing so loud. the bucolic scenery unfolding in front of me. i reached nirvana somewhere after dinalupihan going towards floridablanca!