It’s Just Another Eve

 And just like, the most unpredictable, stressful, challenging year ever will come to pass soon.

I am feeling blah on the last few hours of the year. It’s my first year in my new work and I did not hit my numbers. For the first time ever, my December was pre-occupied with running after those numbers, up till Dec. 29, the last working day for client.

Because of all the restrictions on movement, and my own paranoia, I did not shop for gifts. But I remain unapologetic. #sorrynotsorry

My only consolation - my trips to the beach house. When the restrictions eased, I had to make sure I could visit and just relax. The sunsets, the full moons, the glimmering waters in the early afternoon, made me hang on to my sanity.

My personal projects, of course, also kept me grounded. I disposed of one property and bought another. And preparing for the turnover of another. Then one final project cooked up in a totally different direction, but spilling over to Jan 2021. 

So tomorrow will be just another day. I’ve learned to take things a day at a time even as I make all these plans. How does that work? LOL 

But I still need to say this, with all sincerity: Have a good 2021, peeps. 

Quirks and Hacks

 C3 calls it my ‘middle class upbringing’. And he is probably correct. My hacks are based on principles of minimizing waste, full consumption, extending useful life.

Toothpaste

Yes, I am that kind of oc-oc. No squeezing in the middle of the tube, please. And I make sure the tube is squeezed out. 

Soap Bars 

  

I challenge myself to make sure that each soap bar is TOTALLY consumed. I do this by attaching the little, remaining piece of the bar to the new one. 

Liquids

I bought this rubber funnel that was made for getting the very last drop of liquid. You attach the bottle opening to the specially-contoured mouth to allow it to stand unassisted. I usually let the bottle stand overnight to make sure that almost all of the liquid is collected to a container.

Creams

 

I also bought these little scrapers to help fully transfer creams into a new container. And yes, those are mini funnels. 

Even wear

 

Linens and even leather bags are indexed and arranged so that all of them are used evenly (numbered!). Linens are replaced quincenas. Bags are on a monthly rotation. 

So that’s the extent of my obsessive-compulsiveness!

Gabriel, Zechariah and Mary

 I used to wonder. How different are the responses of Zechariah and Mary to merit different consequences from Angel Gabriel? Both sounded like they were doubting, at first glance.

Then Zechariah said to the angel,

“How shall I know this? 

For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years.” 

But Mary said to the angel,

“How can this be,

since I have no relations with a man?”

But now as I read and re-read their responses, I am seeing the ‘arrogance’ of disbelief by Zechariah as opposed to Mary’s question of process. Zechariah asks ‘how shall I know this’, which I interpret as ‘how can I be convinced that this is true’. He puts forth a solid argument on the falsehood of Angel Gabriel’s prophecy - age.

Mary, on the other hand, is just asking about the process of how it will happen. And I read her statement as an affirmation of her immaculate heart. ‘I have no relations with a man’ means, to me, ‘I do not and will not have relations with any man, as I am betrothed to Joseph. I will be faithful to him.’

Faith in the outcome, that is what the Lord God tells us. Yes, we may question the process. But we will not deny the power of the Lord God in our disbelief.

Buhay Pandemya: Buhay Tabing-dagat

I could have been locked down here on the beach house. My last trip here was March 12, Thursday, with some officemates. We attended an official function in Subic and proceeded to the beach house for lunch. There was already talk of an impending lockdown announcement. The announcement came the following day. But the real strict lockdown imposed March 16.

I was romanticizing being locked down here. Imagine being marooned on a beach setting! Sunrise over the mountains that gently illumine the sand and sea. And of course, the sunset, the glorious sunset. 

But the downsides... erratic internet (how could I have actually continued working from home?). I needed to have cash on hand as the only ATM here is maintained by a rural bank. And there were many restrictions on movement. Finally, I couldn’t be away from Nanay back in San Juan.

However, there will come a time when I would or could actually retire here. I bought a piece of farm land about 5 mins by car away. The produce from there could sustain me, sustain us. I’ll probably see if I could get a stint teaching in the rural college. That would be quaint. 

I’ll have to plan the medical emergency part. I’d look for a primary care doctor with links to the hospitals in Subic Bay. Just in case.    

I wonder if I can spend my final days here, too, ala “Beaches”. But my ashes would still have to be brought back to San Juan, at the columbary of my parish church. 

Being here just gives me all these feels. Good morning.

Buhay Pandemya: Nang Namulaklak ang BL

Disclaimer - I am a late comer. (Though I was into ‘Addicted’, the Chinese BL series years ago before it was called BL). Never got into Jap or Thai BL. But I have always been on the lookout for nice LGBT stories.

So this is just me expressing my views on the Pinoy BLs I have watched over the pandemya.  

C3 had been hooked on to Gameboys early on. And it was only at Ep 4 when I started watching and catching up. Got interested because of Kokoy (and because I was able to watch that indie movie he made with Royce as lead). 

Liked the way the story was progressing. Liked the writing and the acting.  And it just got better and better all the way to the iconic plastic lang ang pagitan. I wondered how they could top that.  But they managed to pick it up and even put in a serious conflict that was a major cliffhanger.  

And the leads just got better and better, too. And Pearl was just perfect. 

Then Hello Stranger started promoting big time. And the perfect tease that is Tony L was doing his part of making sure that his fans were in for a surprise. You could tell the impact of an ABS CBN backing made the production glossy. 

But, I wasn’t that into it. I felt that the leads were not comfortable in their skin. The repartees lacked authenticity. The story itself, somehow, didn’t feel as credulous to me. Or maybe I was just put off by the contrived pa-charming ni Tony L. Then it ended with a hug. Ganern? 

Youtube started recommending other series. I skipped Sacristan upon the recomm of c3. But Inbetween got me curious. Firstly, I like how the leads looked. And Ep 1 started with heavy drama. Break-up agad! Ouch. Then the party scene came. The actors didn’t feel relaxed with each other yet. Couldn’t convince me they were a barkada. But I gave it a shot.

So this one became different with its propensity for flashbacks.  As the series progressed, I liked the big reveal behind the break-up. That picked some heartstrings. But after that gets resolved, it felt like it wanted to extend its life with new characters, new backstories. That made this quite convoluted.

Honestly, I was losing interest especially with the way the selos factor was played out for too long. But I have to admit that finale made me tear up a bit. Again, the flashbacks played a big part (maybe too big?) but when viewed in the context of that exchange of vows, the flashbacks worked. So I ended up loving it again till the end.

So on my playlist now - Gaya Sa Pelikula which has lots of promise but it aint perfect. And Quaranthings which has been excruciating to watch lately. I like how one lead is not typically gorgeous and straight-acting. But what is happening to that story? It feels like it is jumping all over the place. Royce’s hotness is the saving factor. 

I dropped My Day midway Ep 2. It felt like one glossy afternoon telenovela that would resort to cheap laughs. I tuned out after that scene with the waiter AND the manager tinkering with the order. That is just gross. 

I also tried to watch Amore but couldn’t sustain the interest.

On the horizon, Boys Lockdown.  And I’m curious about the Boyband Lockdown. Talaga naman sakyan natin ang initials na‘B.L.’ To death. LOL.

But seriously, I consider all of these as LGBT stories. And the more of these that get produced, the better. Because we all have our stories to tell. Even me. Hehehe 

Buhay Pandemya: Back to the Office!

Tomorrow I report back to the office!  After more than 6 months, we have been required to return to work, with the usual medical clearances. 

Mixed feelings. I will have to change my routine again. I am thinking of waking up 5am to do my home workout. I should be in the office by 9am. I hope to be out of the office by 5pm thereabouts.

Well, I do miss working in an office. The whole day A/C. The quiet surroundings. (No tricycles, ambulant vendors, dogs barking) I’m eager to check on my office plants, assuming these are still alive. I am able to focus on work at hand. And yeah, I miss dressing up to go to work. 

I will miss my big monitor. I have gotten used to this 42” 2nd monitor at home. I only have a 21” 2nd monitor in the office. 

I will miss multitasking - fixing home stuff, cleaning up even as I listen in on meetings.

I will miss the flexibility to do work while on the bed, couch, roofdeck.

I will miss hot, newly cooked lunch as I willl go back to eating my baon, usually served cold as I am lazy when it comes to reheating at the pantry.

I am not without apprehensions. I don’t know if I could be ‘safe’ enough when out there. I actually am still figuring out my own protocols - mask+shield all throughout? Not entertaining people within my office? Disinfecting before and after? Etc etc I don’t want to overwhelm myself. Let’s just see how it goes tomorrow.

It was good while it lasted. Working from home experience finally answered a lot of previous what-ifs. I remember my previous boss not wanting to consider the idea AT ALL, even for a day in a week. 

I remained productive.  I was still motivated to work the whole 8 hours, sometimes even more. 

But it was also very stressful. Meetings one after the other. Or sometimes double booking meetings. That is on top of emails, SMS, Viber, that everyone seems to assume that you would answer immediately. Now na. As in.

For me, well, work belongs in the office (at least my kind of work) and relaxing and chilling belongs outside the office. The geographic delineation allows for easy mental and emotional separation. And we need that moreso now.

If I had a choice, it would be a 4-day workweek. A 3-day weekend would be divine.

Buhay Pandemya: Thanks for the add

It must be this quarantine/lockdown. In a span of month, I have had 3 friend requests from strangers. And after the ‘thanks for the add’ pleasantries, it’s straight to “are you single?” Whoa. It didn’t even bother to establish some kind of ‘friendship’. The first one abruptly ended the convo after I told him that I did, and the FB friendship, when I said I was in a relationship. 2nd one hasn’t messaged me since. 3rd one is still maintaining some contact.

I’ve been on FB for more than 10 years; And only now am I getting this strange, extremely direct messages. Have they grown tired of Grindr or Tinder? They didn’t even bother to with the FB dating app (whatever happened to that?). Might as well do this right on FB.

Ok. Ok. I am quite flattered. But should I be? Or is this just desperation thinking that COVID might strike them down? Or a quarantine jowa is a thing now? 

I would have wanted to flirt, honestly. But I guess they’re not going to have any of that. Oh well.

Alcohol and me 2

Boracay’s Juice Bar

Boracay was another excuse to get drunk (and hopefully, get laid). And that old Juice Bar was THE best place. It felt like a community bar, small yet brimming with people on weekends. The bartenders were fun and engaging. Two memories stand out.

During that swinging single phase of my life, I was in Boracay part work, part leisure. Friday night, I was at Juice Bar, chatting with different people at the bar. I was so drunk I had to lie down on the beach not far from Juice bar. 

I was dozing off when this guy, one of those I had pleasant chats with, came to my ‘rescue’. He woke me up and told me he was going to accompany me back to my room. He said he couldn’t leave me there when he saw me, as he saw my cellphone and wallet just lying beside me.

He helped me to my room. And at that point, I was sort of expecting something to happen. But he didn’t make any moves. We ended up talking a bit and realizing that he was the person I was going to meet up with the following day for work. Thank Heavens nothing happened. It would have been so awkward. 

And maybe, I just wasn’t his type. He was just a good Samaritan. Hehe

The other memory involved c3, at the time we were still dating. That night was sooo much fun as we were drinking, no holds barred. I was so drunk I kept on tripping and falling going back to the room. And that was a looonng walk. c3 claimed I was taking off my clothes, too. I honestly could not remember. C3 never fails to remind me of how drunk I have gotten.  

Ang hirap talaga pag sinasaniban ng espiritu ng alak. 

Buhay Pandemya:

cc: I have started exercising my cursive writing skills. I got this Augmented Paper system from Montblanc that allows me to write freehand, upload to my iPad and ‘translate’ into text. It is far from perfect, as you will see in the post below. But rather than edit the text, I am leaving it as is. And letting you figure out what I am actually trying to say. LOL Reading it now makes me wonder if you’ll actually get what I mean. The editing is hilarious at times. The writing is also saved as jpg so you can refer to that... if you can read my handwriting. 

They have now required face shields over face marks. Maybe in the future, this may even extend to fuel-body PPE, all of us looking like astronauts. Is this another of nature's way of showing cis implications of our obsessions with physical beauty as Hallow and truly tumeaningless?

Our fruity has deified all these blessed with physical beauty, symmetrical facial features, etc. We truly worship beauty, and uneld gladly throw money just so we can keep on staring and admiring. Yee nature has always reminded as of the fleeting nature of beauty in the passing of time. all of that passes. Yet we have remained deaf. Beauty, and its anpaxeim Youth, you enshrined. Old and ageing. crudeness, being plain and ordinary take me place or blue. Sidi gene. wit. wisdom are reduced to price-to-haves, maybe.

Suddenly, as much as 60-702 of the face are covered in our day-to-day physical transactions (or peal-wired). Suddenly there is no way, except magle & exceptionally beautiful eyes, that one can judge face value. We are forced to have to listen to each other as we talk. In the physical world, we could we finger judge fared on fist 'physical 'ingressions. I'm que our basis comed force as to still lurk for physical beauty, like in the way I described the eyes earlier, u find other proxies for it like hair, body, clothes, etc. and we would still miss the point of going beyond the physical. But from, we are reduced to a shires of face. Perhaps for some of us, we will start & devalue holes and physical attractiveness and start to aggravate what is "invisible t the eye."

 

Buhay Pandemya: Is this the end of hookups and casual sex?

It is back to MECQ, back to liquor ban. Another weekend of staying put. Just when I was getting used to Saturdays with c3. And an occasional one at the beach house. 

So it is home improvement time. Having those screens at windows and doors fixed. This would have been so unworthy of a post had it not been for that trabahador from the aluminum maker. Not tall yet had a nice body, shoulders and chest. And what I deduce to be a nice face behind that mask. 

Ugh. I am that deprived. And as I ‘supervise’ him and his companion, I am fantasizing of how the situation would turn sexual. (And how to get rid of that companion LOL)

No, I did not act on it, for so many reasons piled up, one on top of the other. And that brings me to the point of this post - how could one even consider hookups or casual sex when each potential might be carrying COVID?

A friend revealed recently that he managed to hook up anyway. “A Calculated Risk” he says. Risk managed by: having established thru a long history of chatting on G to include his safety protocols, and testing he has been through; being on the receiving end of a blow job; keeping a mask on (no kissing, not even with a plastic sheet in between! Except, of course, during the blow job); immediately washing off with soap and water, etc.  

My praning mind would still consider so many other things.. what if he picked it up on the way to the hookup? And just thinking of all that salivary juice teeming with virus slobbered on the hapless penis. I could go on and on.

Is this nature’s way of championing sex within the confines of a living-together arrangement only?  Yes, in the era of HIV, we have been taught about safe sex. But is there such a thing as safe sex in the era of COVID19? Arms-length (or more) mutual jerk-offs? Or bodies wrapped in plastic? (It seems that the virus has been found in semen, even of recovering patients https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2765654 ) 

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Or how you have coped with the situation, sexually.

Painting by Cyndi Belleza, currently hanging on a wall in the beach house.

Pride Month. The Process of Outing...

I wasn’t always in the closet in my professional career. I was definitely out when I was in the academe. I didn’t give a hoot what people would say. 

But when I joined industry, I had to rethink about being out and about. In my short stint in advertising, I started by being quiet about my identity. But colleagues were sniffing me out anyway. After a few months, I was out and free, hanging out with other LGBT colleagues. 

I moved to government, however. And I had this conservative, religious male boss who gave me a bible on my birthday gift. I went right back in the closet. And there I stayed even as I moved back to private sector, in the company I eventually settled in for more than two decades.

I didn’t need any smokescreens even as I rose up the ranks. I am sure people had me figured out but were just too polite to discuss this with me. So for all intents and purposes, I was the single person taking care of his parents, committed solely to his job.

I moved to this new company, as male-dominated as any in the industry. I maintained my ‘Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell’ policy. Although there have been stirrings in my heart, telling me to start being more honest. 

I was given a new job assignment this year, and a new boss. He is just a few years older than me but he is a seasoned veteran in the field. And he is also new in this assignment, but not new in the company. I know of him as a very religious man, active in a famous lay Catholic organization. He is also a very kind, even gentle soul, and a blessing as a boss. 

I felt moved to disclose to him early this year. But we were all very busy in our learning curves for the new assignments. Then ECQ happened. And we became even busier.

We were having a one-on-one career discussion, typical between bosses and their direct reports recently.  And he started the meeting asking me about my professional life, as he knew almost nothing about me. He honestly wanted to know me as a person, so he could be a better manager to me. My heart stirred with the desire to be true to him. 

Before we ended that discussion, it finally happened. I told him that I would also want to share something personal about myself, in the spirit of being transparent and true to my boss. 

“Sir, I am LGBT.” Funny how I used this rather than ‘gay’.  On hindsight, I probably felt it was a less emotionally-charged label. (C3 teased me about this: What if he had to ask which letter I was? LOL)

His reaction: “Oh, thank you for trusting me with this. You know, I have always agreed with Pope Francis’ message of acceptance and withholding judgment.” I could see, even from the videocall, that he was taken by surprise. But true to his gentle nature, he only affirmed my truth.

Then I also said, “I am gay and Catholic. And for some that might be an irony..” Then he cut me by saying that we all have our intimate relationships to the Father. And he wouldn’t dare put any label or judgment to that. He said that with all sincerity.

“I have always had high respect for you, for what I have heard about you and your performance. But your authenticity has given me reason to respect you more.”

The discussion and videocall ended with an offering to be not just a manager but a friend to me.

I felt so happy and peaceful after. Slowly, surely... I know, it’s not exactly flag-waving for all the world to see. I’d probably still freeze if asked pointblank by others. But I have to give myself a pat on the back for this. I am finally putting bits and pieces of this compartmentalized life together.

Alcohol and me 1

After two months, finally got to taste wine again. Just one glass, savored. With a huge glass of water beside it. And no pulutan. C3 and I did a 5thirsty to celebrate a monthsary and the weekend.

Sipping that one glass made me more conscious of the taste, the tones and the slow buzz that came with it. What a lovely combination. And to preserve my fitness gains, that one glass was at the expense of the afternoon meryenda.

Pisceans have been known to be escapists of the Zodiac, with alcohol and other vices as top avenues for escape. I am no exception. Alcohol and I, we have have had some wild times together. And to that usual question ‘how drunk have you gotten?’, this is my “I was so drunk that...” list

Tequila Night at Elephant Bar 

This was the first bar I could actually go to alone, not needing to set up a posse. I knew the owners, and eventually the staff. I would hang out there at the bar, just enjoying beer. 

But there were fun nights, too. One was a Tequila-for-all sponsored night. Lick-Shoot-Suck pairings. They were pouring Tequila straight into our mouths. That was Party! Party! Till almost everyone was decimated. I was so drunk that my friends saw me sitting on a urinal dozing off. A sober friend (party pooper) had to drive my car and me home. But they were amazed that I was able to direct them to the house even as I was lying on the back seat of the car, eyes closed. 

I hated Tequila for months after that. Literally, my stomach would turn at the whiff of it.  But there’s no denying the fun then, and the fun remembering it now.  

My 50’s Fitness Journey during #ECQ

I am finally back to my desired weight level. I have lost 12 lbs since I started changing my diet, incorporating daily workouts. I thought I’d never get back to this weight pre-ECQ, I was getting frustrated that I wasn’t fitting into my pants anymore. I had even started folding these, ready for donation. 

Learnings about my 50’s body. Bulking up, trying to build muscle doesn’t work for me anymore. (I tried to do that in 2019) My PT asked me about my goals back then. I mentioned a lower fat % and bulky, especially around my shoulders. He squarely said that those are competing goals, as one required eating less and the other is about eating more (quality calories, of course). 

I dumped my diet and started to train heavy. I started fine. I was even challenged to do really go heavy (well, considering my capacity). And I quickly fell into a rut. My joints were sore all over. I was dreading working out, knowing that I was going to be in pain, and not be able to carry the weight, and hate myself. Ugh.

By end of 2019, I was going nowhere with my workouts and with my weight. And it coincided with my new job assignment, so I wasn’t in a happy place. I was heavy, fat again. And it just disappointed me more. 

I started to make some changes at the start of 2020. I began waking up really early so I could workout BEFORE going to work. But I still hadn’t gotten around to my disciplined eating (and monitoring).

ECQ made that happen. I was determined not to come out of this heavier. After week 1, I started incorporating working out into the WFH arrangement. Then I went back to daily (yes, daily) monitoring of my weight, my caloric intake). And by Holy Week, I had to commit to a diet of chicken breast, vegetables, mainly.

I think I also finally had the app MyfitnessPal all figured out. I am able to really track my calories. I have also realized that for me to start losing weight, I should average 1,200 calories a day, And to think before ECQ, I was looking at 1,800 to 2,000 calories daily! Sidenote: 1,200 is Basic Metabolic Rate or BMR. I get this from previous weigh-ins. I never thought much about this metric till this time.

I structured my workouts around the limited hodgepodge of home equipment I have. I do resistance training MWF. Then I do cardio TThS. My cardio includes dance now, which I am rediscovering HAHA. Next up is to include serious HIIT about 1x or 2x per week.

It helped that my city imposed a liquor ban. Haha So I’ve been dry since March 21. I end up drinking about 375 - 500 calories of wine or alcohol every time I drink! (Wala pang pulutan yan!)

So I am in a good place now, as far as my fitness/health/weight is concerned. Trick now is to maintain this and include drinking wine in the process. Because when I get back to my beach house, and I am on my view deck looking out to the West Philippine Sea, I have to be drinking wine.

ECQ Day 55, May 10 Sunday

This ECQ really messes up with my head sometimes. I become irritable, withdrawn at times. Though most days, I am usually just ok. (It’s Day 60 for me. I started counting on May 17 when ECQ was imposed for all of Luzon).

I’m on my favorite afternoon spot on the platform before descending the roof deck. I am appreciating the cool breeze.  Grateful for that breeze, as it has been hot and humid the past days. No sunset though. Clouds are obstructing the sun. Not that I could see it from where I am. I face south so I never really get to see my favorite view.

This overcast Sunday afternoon surprisingly is not making me moody. I am now wondering: once the ECQ is downgraded to a GCQ, what would I want to do first?

I want to visit c3. I want to spend maybe an overnight just being with him. I miss the cuddling. Though we Facetime everyday, I miss talking in person with him. And watching Netlix together. And snoring together.

I want to visit my dad at Heritage Park. We were not able to hold a proper first year death anniversary commemoration. I want to bring my mom there though I don’t know how we would manage if GCQ prohibits movement for senior citizens.

Of course I want to go to my beach house! I want to see the sunset there again. I want to see the improvements that have been happening during this period. I want to see the caretakers and their family. 

Though I have to think what kind of safety protocols I should put in place once I get there. And when I come back here to Manila. Should I enforce that the caretakers wear face masks while I am there? Do I limit their movement? Do I quarantine myself upon coming back? So many things to consider.

I do miss drinking. Our area has been under a liquor ban so I have been dry since March 21. But now I don’t know how to balance that with my diet, yet. I’ll figure that out soon.

I don’t miss eating out, if only for the fun of it. Yeah, I still have my sugary cravings. But I don’t intend to indulge once this lifts. 

I don’t miss malls or shopping, either. 

At this point, I am just looking forward to being able to drive out of my city, still with my facemask, gloves, glasses and cap, alcohol, wipes and maybe my face shield. 

It may not happen anytime soon. That’s the cold reality. But the time will come. And I will be ready for that. Gotta keep my head intact till then.

Burning Hearts

The Gospel today, usually given entitled as “The Road to Emmaus”, I will always remember as the Gospel read during First Holy Communion. We had rehearsals on the participative Gospel reading. “Please stay with us. Night is coming.”

Reading and re-reading the Gospel, I am struck by the way their eyes were prevented from recognizing him. Contrary to what the priest said at the sermon, they did not recognize Jesus because of their disappointment. They were “prevented.”

I reckon that Jesus had this cloak of many faces upon his resurrection. I bet that the mysterious Faceless Man character in Game of Thrones was based on this. (Which I have previously blogged about. Hehe)

I wondered how it is to feel ‘a heart burning’. I am recalling how I become engaged and excited in certain conversations, many of them debates and arguments. Certainly, my heart beat races as I try to understand what was being said AND formulate my own on reasoning, counter-arguments, or even just questions to test the rationality of the argument.

Could this be what Cleopas and companion were feeling as the Scriptures was being explained to them by no less than Jesus himself? I imagine how impassioned the discussion must have been as those disciples had made up their mind that the prophet they were following could NOT have been the Messiah. They must have felt so lost as this figurehead they had pinned their hopes on was crucified. They must have felt crushed and humiliated. And they couldn’t wrap their minds around the stories that somehow, he must have resurrected.

They must have tried to argue against the facts being laid by Jesus. Yet they couldn’t. And they began to understand both his horrible death AND his resurrection. They probably had that “Aha” moment, just as he broke the bread. That moment of realization coincided with the ‘reveal’ - it was Jesus, all along who was with on that journey! Jesus, his tasked completed, disappeared. But he left them enlightened and even more zealous as disciples, hearts burning!

How wonderful it must have been to hear Jesus himself explain the Scriptures for us. And to have our faith re-awakened, re-ignited with a clearer understanding of His Life, Death and Resurrection! Such Good News we couldn’t keep to ourselves!

Quarantine Easter

This coincides with my dad’s 1st year death anniversary, his babang-luksa.  Many plans for this day but COVID19 happened. 

26 Days since start of the Enhanced Community Quarantine for Luzon. And it has been 19 days since I have actually went out of the house. I went out for an hour just to buy medicines at Mercury Drug in Wilson. 

Work from home arrangement could be a lot busier. With Viber, SMS, FB messenger, Email, MS Teams, I am virtually connected to the office 16 hours a day. I can be in multiple meetings and chats. I am expected to reply to messages almost instantaneously. 

I have put some semblance of order and regularity in my workweek. I wake up at 6-615am. I do some morning abs workout before taking a shower. I log on at all my Viber groups by 8am (or a little before it). But never earlier (unless there are emergencies). 

I work out after 5pm, usually at the roofdeck so I could have some outdoor breeze. I have started to use all the workout equipment I have always had lying around. MWF strength training using elastic bands, dumbbells and going for high reps. TThS left for cardio burn stuff, from simple calisthenics routines to some HIIT programs. But this changed during Holy Week. I was off the whole week (company VL). Workouts became mornings, finishing by 930 to 10am, fasted workouts. 

Afternoons I spend usually at the roofdeck (pictured) where I get my summer breeze and golden hour view. At one point, I actually climbed all the way the rooftop just to appreciate the sunset and see smog-free Metro Manila. A buwis-buhay shot.

Quarantine weekends have been spent on home projects. 1st 2 weeks saw me and the help cleaning and beautifying the few ‘garden spaces around the house. Holy Week gave me more time to work on cleanup of the storage. Ugh. So much junk and trash accumulated throughout the years. But it also yielded precious items like old photos in albums and picture frames, some books, and lots of memories.

Today was the first time the family got to use Zoom meetings. Since we “attended” the Easter Vigil celebrations last night, we had the morning to finally do that video conferencing app. It was great seeing my siblings, my nephews and nieces interact with my mom and us based here in San Juan City. We tried to do some communal singing. But with differing internet speeds, that was a flop. But we got to share old photos using Zoom. And we got updated on how everyone was doing. It looked like we were all still free from COVID19. 

 No more grieving for Tatay. It has been a year. He is in a peaceful place now. I dreamt about him last week. His message: “I am always around. Haven’t you wondered who has been carrying you?” Strange yet comforting, he is probably looking out for us. And telling us to just hang on, kapit lang as something good will still come out of this. We just have to keep the faith.