im re-posting an entry from last year, exactly on this topic:
my faith explained
march 27, 2007
its palm sunday. we begin Holy Week, a defining week for Catholics. it has put me in the right mood to be introspective. moreover, something about the comments on my post "feasting and abstinence" made me think - what is my "faith"? what do i believe in? funny but i have never tried to put this down into words, largely taking 'believing' for granted. (what do you take me for, granted?) I believe
- in God, a Father to me, to all of Creation. Benevolent Creator. I believe in some power much, much greater than me. I cannot believe that all the happens in this world are by accident. There is logic, there is order though the wisdom of this may be beyond me to comprehend. And that's why I call it faith.
- in Jesus. The Father's Son. He is my Teacher. He is my Lord. Through the New Testament, He teaches me to live a better, more fulfilling life. Very difficult at times.
- I was born this way... made this way.. gay, for a reason or for a host of differet reasons. Foremost is to take care of my parents in their twilight years. the least I could to for all the sacrifice they made for me.
- that though the Bible is explicit about homosexual behavior as sinful, I believe that the sin lies in sex and sexual behavior devoid of 'love', purely for passion, or recreation. It is not so much the gender of those involved but the attitude behind the act. I should be treating people as people, as human beings. I fail to treat them right if I have sex with people I do not even love.
- that when i love, i should ultimately love in all faithfulness.
- that reconciling being gay with being catholic may seem like an oxymoron. but the ability to hold two opposing truths is a sign of deepening maturity. i liken this to the dual nature of light. do you know that light behaves like a wave and a particle? and these two aspects of light are truly incompatible, irreconcilable. and yet light behaves in both ways.
12 comments:
"It is not so much the gender of those involved but the attitude behind the act. I should be treating people as people, as human beings."
It's interesting that, based on what you wrote, your conclusion is that sex without love for the other person (which I think is what you mean by "purely for passion or recreation") is not treating the other person as a human being.
When I have recreational, passionate sex with another person in the bathhouse or in the "buffet areas" (you know what I'm referring to), I don't treat them inhumanely. I don't see them as less than human. And while the sex act consists of a lot of self-gratification, what turns me on and further satisfies me is to see the other guy really, truly enjoy and get gratification too. Is that being less than human?
I think our difference is in how we view the Church's ideal that ONLY monogamous–sex-with-love is the acceptable kind of sex (take note ha, dapat magkasabay ang "monogamy" and "with love", kasi puwedeng monogamous ka pero hindi mo na mahal yung tao kahit na ba nakikipag-sex ka sa kanya). That is where I disagree with the Church's view of sex.
reconciling being gay with being catholic may seem like an oxymoron- i think we should think that it isn't our christianity but our catholicism that gives us a problem reconciling religion and our sexuality- the church as an institution condemns homosexuality as a sin yet there many in their ranks who are homosexual. other christian organizations like the anglican church are trying to come to terms with this
Honestly, I hardly see the conflict with being gay and still believing in God.
One of my favorite songs for all time, "Who am I" by Casting Crowns helped me understand better the relationship I have with God.
"who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love and watch me rise again ...
not because of who I am
but because of what You've done
not because of what I've done
but because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean
a vapor in the wind
still You hear me when im calling
Lord, You catch me when im falling
and You've told me who I am
I am Yours"
This song made me realize that no matter who I am and what I've done, My Father, My Friend and My God will always accept and love me... even if the church will tell me otherwise.
Just my two cents. :)
wow. nice comments. chronological one-by-one replies:
thanks, mcvie, for noting that difference between us! and may i just add that 'treating' other people as 'not humans' (through recreational sex) is not the same as treating them inhumanely. conceptually, recreational sex 'objectifies' the sexual partner. and that for me is the reason why i do not treat people as people in a recreational sex mode. i do not bother to know them as people, as unique individuals with thoughts, feelings. i respond to them on the basis of physical attraction, on physical terms.
that is the 'spirit' behind the Church teaching: that recreational sex devoid of love is inherently sinful.
=)
"recreational sex 'objectifies' the sexual partner"
Again, here is where I beg to differ with the Church. It is an oversimplification to say that in ALL cases of recreational sexual encounter, the people involve objectify one another. Sure, there are truly anonymous, wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kinds of sexual encounters (madalas wala pang "thank you" involved, hahaha).
But what about friends with benefits? (And don't tell me that the love among friends is enough justification na may love na yung sex nila, ha!) What about those encounters when you actually treat them as individual human beings? Sure, you don't expect to see them again, but you treat them with respect the same way that you treat in a humane fashion the friendly saleslady in Timbuktu whom you know you won't meet ever again.
hello anonymous one. unfortunately, its not just the Catholic Church. one of my dates, Brandon, attends a Christian Church somewhere in the metropolis. and he tells me that the teachings on homosexuality are the same...
very well put, joaqui... and it is a beautiful song. thanks for sharing!
mcvie, this is not official Church stand. this is my interpretation of why the Church essentially labels premarital sex as a mortal sin.
and my interpretation of fubus remains the same. i essentially should treat friends as friends. technically, sex should not be part of a "friendship" for me. otherwise, id be banging the fabcasters. hahaha. seriously, if i have recreational sex with my friends, i essentially treat them not as friends anymore but 'sex objects' (for lack of a better term), even for that moment.
CC, sobra namang taas ng tingin mo sa friends mo! Ilagay ba kami sa pedestal?! Puwede naman kaming babuyin... CHOZ! Hahaha! After all, hindi ba OA din kaming mambalahura sa iyo sa Fabcasts? Hehehe! (Hoy, joke lang 'to, ha.) Ah, so interpretation mo pala yun. Ok, fine. =)
At may-I-insert ka pa ng quantum physics sa dulo, ha. How very Carl Sagan. (How very 80s ang reference to Carl Sagan!)
=)
My God is a loving God. His greatest gift to me is my free will. I won't let any church take that away from me.
i guess we just have to remember that the church as an institution whether catholic or otherwise has no monopoly on God. I guess we are free to choose our own religion
mcvie... carl sagan talaga??? isama mo na rin ang jacques costeau!
quentin x: true, true, true!
anonymous one, they'd like to think they do... most religions anyway. thanks for dropping by!
Ay, Jacques Costeau reference?! Mas matanda ka sa akin talaga. LOLZ! ;-)
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