just friends

i met up with hike buddy a few days ago, visiting hk. he was looking much better than the first time i met him. his hair was different and he had a mustache that fits him. he was grateful for the favor i did for him, so he treated me to dinner. and in the course of the conversation, i got to know that he really just saw us as friends, and nothing more.

i had to admit that i still had a tremendous crush on him. because on top of the physical attraction, he was also fun to talk to. and he seemed like he was having fun, too. and the fact that he went hiking with me and skinny dipping made me more... hopeful. everytime he'd drop by manila, he'd give me a call to check if we could meet up. so i was beginning to paint this romantic picture of him despite the long distance (he is based in hk)

well, bubble burst with that dinner. in not so many words, hike buddy really looked at me as a pal, a chum (dated word) he could hang out with. and even if i wanted to push the envelope, i decided not to. better off to be just friends.

i noticed that there have been quite a number of guys that i've met in the months i've been single whom i found very interesting and attractive. the few times i've gone out with them confirmed how much i like them. and also how futile it was because the interest was one-way.

the nice part, though, is that they appreciate my friendship and would like to keep in touch. however, if there really is no other point than friendship, i begin to lose the urgency to meet up with them and sustain the friendship. i really have enough friends!

so the point of the post? there is a process of natural selection when it comes to relationships. i am the type to simply accept this and let 'nature' take its course, confident the love will come in due time...