body clock major reset

two nights of insomnia, i couldn't take anymore.  i resorted to modern medicine to help me.  finally slept soundly from 1030pm to 5am.  even though im wondering why i woke up at 5am when i should be up by 630am.  oh well.  i shouldn't be complaining.

i felt like i was a subject in sleep deprivation experiments.  being a psych major in the 80s, we read through much of those.  and that research helped us understand all about sleep, brain waves, REM, etc.  (geek stuff)  

i just want to catalogue my experience with this.

jet lag didnt use to be a major problem for me.  my trips to the U.S. (the worst in terms of body clock resets) would have me recovering in a few days, simply by pushing myself to stay awake.  i never recalled the bouts of all-night insomnia previously.  so i'm guessing age has a lot to do with it.

i arrived wednesday night here in the phils.  in the plane, i tried to adjust to manila time by timing my sleep.  but i was never really good at sleeping in planes anyway.  so i was dead tired upon arriving.  and when i finally fell asleep by 1am, it lasted me till 10am.  wonderful, i thought.  im almost adjusted.

thursday night was the killer night.  that was my first bout of bad insomnia.  totally no sleep. and i documented that with this men-at-play fantasy.  (thanks, raiders, for suggesting that.  i didnt even know that there is porn dedicated to my fetish!)  i survived my morning meetings.  feeling really light headed.  i thought id be irritable.  but i felt i was just floating.  

forced myself to take a nap during lunch break.  was scared i might sleep through the afternoon so i told my secretary to wake me by 3pm.  i woke up on my own by 2pm.  and continued to my meeting, then to working out.  which most people warned me against.  

that friday night, i had a massage that ended up arousing me.  but nevertheless, i slept soundly (having been awake for 24 hrs) and woke up saturday 11am!  almost 12hrs of sleep.  aha! im recovering!  so saturday was nice, regular day and afternoon with pc.  going to the dinner party by 7pm, i was feeling sleepy again but i snapped out of it during the dinner.

by 1230am, i was home and ready for sleep.  and sleep never came.  ever.  that was so horrible.  though i felt no pressure to wake up early. i just had to be up by 11am for my voice lessons.  so i was calmly trying to sleep.  talked to a pal for 30mins.  tried to chat over at ym.  even wanted to get another massage.  nada. no chance anymore.

i did my jerk-off. also with no results. by 530am, i was still awake and trying to arrange my schedule for the day. hmm. i was suppose to do voice lessons by 11am, rehearsals with performers by 2pm then 4pm jog. how about mass? maybe at 9am. oh, then there's the fabcast by 8pm. di ako busy on a sunday, noh?

then i just decided to change the order. i was seized with the urge to jog in up early morning. well, relatively early first time for me to jog in peyups at that time, on a whim. and i was greeted by traffic. due to a fun run. grrr. but i still managed to do my run. and found myself out of breath by 4km. hmm the effect of sleep deprivation?

i remained awake, even during the mass and the voice lessons. i took a 30min nap after lunch as i waited for the rehearsal time. i found myself still alert but the floating feeling remained. i felt like an extra for walking dead.

by 630pm, i went for a massage again. went through the list of 'home service massage' in sulit.com.ph texted the spas and numbers, inquiring about cost and availability. i got one quick response, from what looked like a cutie. i finalized plans and i was impressed with the very courteous texts. and though he had a nice pic in the profile, i didnt expect him to be.

but he turned out to be really cute in person. 'cute' is so appropriate because he was vertically challenged. pero gwapo, tisuyin. and true enough, his manner was very professional and quite thorough. he looked really serious about what he was doing and was careful not to casually wander into my groin area. professional and legitimate. and cute. so it was a good massage, and not arousing, not like the last time.

but as relaxing the massage was, i still didnt fall asleep during the activity. i would doze off, from time to time. but never for a long period. was jet lag kicking in again? hay.

after dinner, i resolved to take the route of medical science. and drank a mild sleeping pill. by 1030pm, i was off to dreamland.

this is truly the most difficult jet lag experience i have had. and i am praying that i have recovered. ill only find out tonight. ill have that sleeping pill around just in case i have a relapse.