I'm in between relationships. Just like the way they say about jobs. I'm in transition. Despite my poor track record, I know I will be back in a relationship again. Because I like being in one. I just can't seem to stay in one for long.
I like the romantic rush. Heck, I'm probably addicted to it. But beyond that, I do like being in a relationship, even as the dust settles and the oohs and ahhhs start to become ... regular. I'd like to think that while I am in one, I give it my all. I don't hold back. I like the responsibility of maintaining one, including the little, everyday things Babe, I'll drop you off at your work. Babe, you work too hard. Take your meds so the fever will go away. etc. etc.
So I know soon enough I'll be in one again. I will be going through it again. And I will be so into it, again.
But with this comes that nagging fear that the pattern will re-emerge. When the responsibilities become obligations. When the oohs and ahhhs with someone else becomes so much more attractive, and tempting. And I will cause pain again. (Though sometimes I give myself too much credit in the ability to cause pain. I'm not THAT irreplaceable or indispensible.)
So I guess that's the difference in my in-between state right now. A fear that soon enough, I will be back to my own devices.
But someone witty enough just answered with...
Let's burn the bridge when we get there.
His eyes wide shut.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad