Monday, March 12, 2007

sex and the senior citizen


i was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of a scientific meeting last week focused on the aging male. i listened to marge holmes, the pre-eminent clinical psychologist best known for her very frank literature on sex! she talked about the non-medical interventions on erectile dysfunction, one of the main problems of the male senior citizen. what struck me was her discourse lifted from the book by Jolan Chan - The Tao of Love and Sex. Very simple concepts - orgasm and ejaculation are two separate things. acknowledge that your body responds differently as you grow older (conclusion - space and pace your sexual activities or huwag pilitin just for the sake of...)

orgasm and ejaculation are two different things. the secret to lifelong enjoyment of sex is to achieve orgasm even without ejaculating. think truly enjoying each and every lick, caress, kiss, bite, thrust. reminds me of a favorite motto, ala slumbook "happiness is not found at the end of the road. it is found along the way!" but she warns that you have to start early. is this possible in gay sex? could we possibly have sex and not end in a mind-boggling ejaculation everytime?

pacing and spacing your sexual activities... well, nothing too controversial there. there really comes a time when the 'mood' is simply not there. but sometimes, being gay, i persecute myself for having these moods. especially when the opportunity serendipitously presents itself! but the lesson i get - stop fighting the process and just go with the flow. that hada might be better enjoyed cerebrally or at least socially...

3 comments:

iknw_now said...

Whew!!! I been hearing it before, and I don't want to believe it.Is it true, if so..I don't really care at all. Nothing has changed..

closet case said...

i can understand the skepticism. i actually tried to 'focus' on enjoying each and every moment. because i do get my bouts of performance anxiety. it worked for me to really get into having as much fun as just blowing and kissing... performance anxiety melted away..

stuart said...

Contrary to popular belief a whopping majority of the people who are past their hey days maintain their sexual urges, wants, and fantasies. Unfortunately, most of them are let down by their anatomy. Men and women as old as 70 experience the need of sex but almost all of them experience sexual dysfunction, erectile dysfunction being the commonest in the men. For the latter today there are medicines in the likes of cailis.Though their costs make it impossible for many to buy the drug.