an aura of truth and hope

i had my first aura reading recently. the reader, a nice comely mestiza probably in her late 40's, welcomed me into her home. she gave me the usual caveats - this is based on what she 'reads' and does not have to mean that it will happen. she sees past, present and future images. she's very visual and would describe these images to you. she reads for 45mins and allows you 15mins of Q&A. fair enough.

she surprised me by asking about telling me up front a message: whatever it is that seems to be hanging, end it. no loose ends. nothing to be left hanging. no remnants. end it. cut it. get it over with. i should have made that decision two years ago.

hearing her talk like that, so directly, with no inkling whatsoever, i felt this cold wave wash over me. and i proceeded to confirm that she may be referring to my very recent break-up with ex. at first she doubted her own statements, since i told her i already broke up with him. but when i told her that we are still sharing the condo, she realized what she her statements meant.

cc, its not doing you any good. too many memories. you need to move on and get this over with.

your ex has already found someone long before. he was actually preparing to break up with you. but something happened. i see a door closing... yes, he was counting on that door but it closed. and he didnt have a Plan B. and worse, you broke up with him. he's in a very sorry state now. and he might try to fix things with you.

but be wary. wanting to fix things with you may be more for his convenience than for you and for the relationship.

i was dumbfounded. this was some sort of confirmation. i should have trusted my intuition two years ago.

i asked: does he still love me? cc, i told you. there's somebody else. he stopped that a long time ago.

knife cuts my heart deep. but i quickly recover. for she talks about work and the challenges i will face. she mentions family and the business. and then she goes back to talking about my love life.

your next relationship will be the one that would last a long, long time. but this wont happen this year. mid-2009 perhaps. meanwhile, just have fun dating.

the reading ended on an optimistic note. and though i take these readings not as seriously, i happen to enjoy thinking about the possibilities presented by the reading.

and it also reinforced my own feelings for myself - yes, i am the marrying kind. if it were legal, with no stigmas, no hang-ups, i would love to declare my love to my partner with God and family, friends as witnesses. it's not so much as a piece of paper but as a declaration of my 'word', as legal and binding. so when i announce to the whole world that i, corporate closet, take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part..

i better mean it.