on winning...

i admit. im very competitive. a number of my exes have told me that. and i had to finally admit to myself that i am.

is winning everything to me? well, its not really that winning is everything. but i don't like losing. i don't like the feeling at all. and ive felt that a lot before. badminton games. missing sales targets. ideas that dont work. not getting good grades. missing out on the top honors in elementary, high school and college. not getting promoted. getting fat and ugly. i dont beat myself up over it. but i dont like the feeling.

so i drive myself to achieve. despite having lost so many times before, i will try again. and i end up tasting victory a couple of times. and that's when you relish the moment. and that's when you realize that standing up every time was so well worth it. and all the anxiety, all the tension just melts when you finally win..

and that's a great feeling.

i remember winning a badminton competition. no, its not one of the big ones. its an industry thing. but it still had its share of really hot shot players. i was in the mixed doubles category, mid-level. that was one whole day of competition. we played 7 games, slowly inching our way to the top. and every game was an ordeal. it was never a sure win. and when it was all over and we had our medals and our trophy and our sweaty attire, man oh man that felt really good. and that was the 3rd competition ive joined. i lost the previous two. didnt even make it to the semis. that felt so good. and i went on to win two other tournaments!

another moment i couldnt forget was getting the top award in business school. wow, that was 24 months of studying, of being with really intelligent professionals from different industries and sectors. and business school forces you to be competitive. grades are based on CP, class participation. no chance for shyness here. up till my thesis defense, i wasnt sure of my standing. shortly after, i received a call from my professor-mentor as he personally informed me that i was "it".

i delivered the class response on graduation day. i agonized over that speech for days. and as i was delivering it, with all the right punchlines, i saw them responding positively. and i knew i won them over with that speech.

winning is a great feeling. i dont like losing but im not afraid of it. the most important part is the 'taking chances' part. that is the one that ultimately forms character, that toughens us up.

so dear friend, you are a winner. you've got a winner's smile, a winner's bod, a winner's talent and a winner's heart! but you just have to take that step, dear friend. you've got to break that mold, the defeatist attitude and jump in. i may not know you as much, but i know enough. enough to know you have it within you. and you've got us to back you up.