the good ones...

just met the perfect man.

cute chinito. within my age range but looks half his age.
trim body, not necessarily toned but enough.
PhD, summa cum laude, super smart, humble, fun
not into gimmick. maintains a close-knit circle of friends. for them it's dinner and coffee.
and hung like a horse (JOKE. i have no idea)

wow. where on earth have you been all my life? hehe

just met the perfect man, it seems.

of course he's attached. taken. committed.
for the past 18 years of his life.

the spark. yeah, it was there. and i felt it was mutual.

my mind starts wandering. getting ahead of reality.

we start seeing each other, clandestinely. short texts at work. coffee here and there.
the conversations are deep, lovely and engaging.
but we do not jump into bed. a part of me prefers this. let my sin be minimized.
and we avoid talking about how we feel.
but we also cannot deny the need to see each other more and more.
and suddenly, i cannot hold it anymore.
i tell him ... goodbye. he won't accept it. he tells me that he feels just as much.
and he will not let go that easy.

it's the enigma story in reverse. suddenly, i'm enigma. and i'm hearing him say exactly the same things i told enigma. and i'm realizing how incredulous it all sounds.

how i'm just walking into a heartache. no, heartaches. particularly his lover of 18 years. and in the end, i will be the big loser in this.

loser. the game hasnt started and im already a loser.

so much for my attempt at writing short stories. the good ones are already taken, always.