Tuesday, August 14, 2012
cc quickie: a wave washes over me
The piano solos from Shame frames the melancholia of this dark, dreary, rainy day. I feel like I'm watching my movie, seated in the back of the car, seeing the signs of life pass by. Seeing but not seeing. For I am inside my head, inside my heart. The piano plucks these heartstrings so exquisitely. It brings into perspective a life, otherwise successful, but now seemingly just a failure. The many mistakes made like raindrops collecting in a puddle. Collecting, never emptying, never forgotten or forgiven. And how the patterns repeat, over and over again. And all one sees is a failure of growth. It is comforting to know that all these may just be hormones. Just biological determinants of sentiments swirling. That I am so beholden to those neurotransmitters circulating, that all ramblings don't actually mean anything. But they are just manifestations of something as impersonal, as scientific, as innocuous as... hormones. Yet, there is a real object to this. Something real stimulating it. Would I still feel this way if those hormones are not acting up? Or would I still feel this way if that stimulus wasn't there?
Posted by closet case at 8:34 AM