Saturday, May 8, 2010

arousing a sense of patrimony

grindr chat exchange

where from
thailand but now in manila
what brings you to manila
studies in quezon city
cool are you enjoying manila
no
definitely not
oh why is that
too many malls, not enough culture
other bad things
not a nice city to live in
sorry to hear that (but im very surprised and annoyed)
no choice but for me to suck it up
wow bitter feelings
not bitter. just passionate
they sound bitter to me. sad to hear things like that bout the only home ive known
my home too
im still very proud of it, no matter what. anyway, thanks for the chat. have a good eve
thanks


end of conversation EVER. how rude. first time for me to encounter such a strong negative opinion about manila. i couldnt help but really be bothered, defensive over this overbearing thai.

blocked him totally from grindr.

10 comments:

gauxves said...

sana sinabi mo, "well, i believe your bangkok is a ghost town with all that political upheaval chuvaness" ng maloko ang lolo moh...

Tristan Tan said...

One colleague described Manila as a shabbier version of the US. I told him, extremely diplomatically, to go fuck himself.

Richard said...

Funny, but in a couple of ways I can see where he was coming from. I was and born and raised in Manila and even though I live in the USA now, I still consider Manila home. Yes, too may malls. Yes, much traffic. Yes, its hot. Yes, its crowded. But no culture? Just walk on any street there's culture. Maybe he wants to see another culture and thats why he can't see the one he is in the midst of. The original folk songs blurring in AM radio, the morning ritual to buy pan de sal, the noontime shows where cute people with horrible voices sing about the pains of love while smiling and waving to fans, the Sunday ritual of going to mass and then eating out with family, the singalong bars, the fascination about struggling stars and their love affairs, and elections that are more like situation comedies -- to me its what makes life in Manila colorful. And I miss it.

Ming Meows said...

definitely rude. why would he experience some culture if he's not really going around anyway

Felipe said...

pang iPhone lang ang Grinder? No PC/Mac application?

citybuoy said...

ibang feelings na-arouse niya. haha

i think these are things na forgivable pag pinoy ka. like complaining about the heat or the cockroaches ekek pero if a foreigner says it, patay tayo diyan! haha remember the while claire danes fiasco?

bottom line, walang tirahan ng bansa. lol

arkin said...

manila is love. poor him.

Anonymous said...

I would like to share my thoughts and I hope you wont take offense.

I am a pinoy professional based in bangkok. I am in manila at least once a month. unfortunately and sadly, there is a lot of truth to what is said about our dear mega manila.

manila (i.e., makati) was, still is (n.b: i maintain houses both in manila and bangkok) and will be my home. but manila is dirty, decayed, grimy and lets face it - quite unsafe. the moment i land at NAIA (whether it be terminal 1, 2 or 3), i get reminded of things that dont work and of things that cant be done properly. as gateway to the world, I dont understand why we cant even run and produce a fully functioning decent airport. Among the major ASEAN countries, we probably have the worst airport (without commenting on our honorable immigration/customs officers and airport taxis). and once out of the airport, one has to contend with the dirty and dark streets, potholed roads, and polluted air.

notwithstanding the grime and the polluted air, i still make it a point to be back in manila at least once a month. Why? because it is my home, it is where my heart longs to go. and it is also where most of my loved ones are. I dream to see the day where manila's streets are clean, safe and in order. As to when this will be, it is anybody's guess. Every time I go back to Manila I try to notice things that have improved -however slight. For me, my manila is still (as it is now in my heart) the world's best city to live and die in, even if it is dirty, grimy, polluted and unsafe.

CC, Thais are not normally frank or honest if they feel negatively. They have a whole slew of vocabulary to express things negatively in a positive way. Believe me, this can be very frustrating at times. This particular Thai that you chatted with must really be frustrated with how things are in Manila. May be its time to give him another chance?

I love your blog.
pinoybkkian

rudeboy said...

Now that some time has elapsed, have you thought about why you were bothered by his response? Was it really the fact that the Thai disliked Manila, or the frank manner in which he expressed his opinion?

Surely he could have been a little more tactful. But you did ask his opinion about living in Manila, and he gave it.

We become defensive over things we know to be true, but would rather not hear. While I, too, would get ticked off if a foreigner slams my country unfairly and incessantly, if his criticisms happen to be true, my emotional responses wouldn't negate the validity of his observations.

Interestingly, I'm in Bangkok a great deal, and I still find it a sort of parallel universe to Manila. Some of the topography is uncannily similar, and the people can easily be mistaken for Pinoys, and vice-versa. Despite the ongoing political turmoil over there, I've often imagined Bangkok to be what Manila could've been: progressive and impressive. Sure, it's not perfect: there is urban blight, there is rampant
corruption, there are urban poor. Just like Manila. But as we say in Tagalog: "Lamang lang ng tatlong tulog."

As the poster above mentioned, the Thais, like us, are normally polite to a fault, so I agree: he must have had many unpleasant experiences with Manila to respond so passionately and so unequivocally to your question.

It's a fact that, as citybuoy pointed out, we become very sensitive when other races comment negatively over things in our country that we ourselves bitch and moan about incessantly. But there's the rub, I guess. Just like family, we may bitch and complain about our own, but once someone outside the family unit starts weighing in, we close ranks.

As to whether that's a good thing or not is a matter of opinion.

Thanks for a most enlivening post.

Storm said...

I share the sentiments shared by pinoybkkian and rudeboy. Having been based in Indochina for quite some time already, I find it surprising to hear a very forward reaction from a Thai. To borrow a colleague's phrase - that's so un-Thai.

Unlike the Thai culture, Pinoy culture, for me, is something you don't really see. It's not a spectacle like the Wats (temples) that tourists can visit. The unique Pinoy culture is lived and experienced much like how Richard above described it.