The wind was howling last night. I stepped out, stood on the roofdeck to witness the power. My plants were being bent impossibly by the winds, and in the distance, the few coconut trees of neighbors. I felt so amazed at the fury and at my smallness. I was all alone.
Sometimes I think I really am a "soloist" at heart (I use this term rather than 'loner'.) I like running alone, just me and my music. I look forward to going home at night, and just being by myself, with a glass of wine.
And as I look back at my relationships, I enjoy the times we would be together, doing things together without having to talk or chat. Of course, if there's kwento, I would engage. But I am not much into the small talk of the everyday. I hardly contribute to talking about my day, the minute details of the past 10 hours or so. I would listen but sometimes, if the talk stretches out, I would rather be alone.
This may come as a surprise to some people who view me as this social butterfly. And to a certain extent, I am that, too. But maybe at my core, I really am a soloist, who would rather go at it alone.
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1 comment:
I know how you feel... Agreed!!!
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