Tuesday, July 17, 2007

the beginning of the end

I think we finally broke up. Just one post back I was still relishing our first argument after a long time. That was followed by another, and another one.

A few months back, he complained I wasn’t sharing enough of my new life, my life apart from him. Friends I’ve met, their lives, office stuff, etc. And I admitted that I wasn’t much of a ‘sharer’. Just never got into the habit. I would rather talk about what’s relevant to our life, or just listen to his stories. But I promised to try.

So I shared an insight from a nice, smart friend I met last Friday. His insight: There will always be a part of you that will never belong to your current partner. That part of you, that part of your past belongs to your exes. I admired the wisdom and shared it with partner. Partner dismissed the comment outright as something that came from someone sore with his current partner. I found the comment insensitive and told him about it. That became Argument No. 1. He reacted very negatively to my reaction. Found it pikon of me. But as I mentioned, he quieted down and made peace (no apology).

Sunday afternoon. After a massage, we agreed to meet up for dinner. He just finished his massage and was supposed to be wrapping up. I told him I was very near the resto (which was like 15mins away from the spa where he had a massage). I waited for an hour for him! I was pissed and showed it. He reacted very negatively again. He didn’t want to be blamed for being late. He apologized but was very pissed about my ‘over-reaction.’ He stopped talking to me the entire night. I let him be, also still angry. What got to me more is that he reacts to my reaction. Sinasabayan pa ang inis ko. Finally, Monday morning, he makes peace. I accepted and did not bother to discuss the subject. Argument No. 2

Monday afternoon. He talked to my secretary and told her we’ve been arguing. He insinuated that I was ‘masungit’. I was surprised he told her about it. He arrived late at the movie screening. I was already with my sister, my nieces and nephews for Harry Potter. No big deal. After the movie, he was telling my sister how ‘sungit’ I have been again, in jest. I told him, jokingly, to shut up. We passed by my parents. He again joked with my household help that I was masungit. That was the last straw. I raised the issue and told him I found it offensive for him to keep telling people I was masungit. He went ballistic. I’ve been too sensitive, over-reacting to him, nitpicking. Argument No. 3

And I matched his histrionics. I left the unit and went drinking. More texts about how different I have become… that I am now better off alone, he was getting in the way, blah blah.

I didn’t go home. I went to sleep at a friend’s place, of course I was quite drunk. Called me up super-pissed that I wasn’t going home. He was leaving for good. I was too tired to argue.

I am now back in the condo. Alone. He's not here. Bags all packed and ready to go. Smashed a picture frame, bits of glass all over the bedroom floor...

it wasnt supposed to end this way...

6 comments:

Marcus: Bading Down Under said...

Hey dude. Sorry to hear about what happened to you and your partner. Yikes. I hope that things turn out the better.

If you want email cathartic rants, email me at bading.gerzie@gmail.com - take care, champ, and I wish you all the best.

Baklang AJ said...

i feel for you. *hugs* hope everything's gonna be alright. :)

Petra Pan said...

you're right. it's can't end this way. you may cool off if only to calm the still brewing rage, but try everything to salvage the relationship. sayang!

migs, the manila gay guy said...

*faints*

iknw_now2 said...

Hi der!!Hope things get better pa..sayang naman..So much for the relationship, eh ikaw how are you, okay ka lang ba?? I can actually relate to the feeling na sometimes I am better off alone but don't buy the idea ha, sa akin lang yun..How I wish I can walk out in my sticky situation that easy..hahaha..

f i l l i b u s t e r o said...

*hug*