the beginning of the end

I think we finally broke up. Just one post back I was still relishing our first argument after a long time. That was followed by another, and another one.

A few months back, he complained I wasn’t sharing enough of my new life, my life apart from him. Friends I’ve met, their lives, office stuff, etc. And I admitted that I wasn’t much of a ‘sharer’. Just never got into the habit. I would rather talk about what’s relevant to our life, or just listen to his stories. But I promised to try.

So I shared an insight from a nice, smart friend I met last Friday. His insight: There will always be a part of you that will never belong to your current partner. That part of you, that part of your past belongs to your exes. I admired the wisdom and shared it with partner. Partner dismissed the comment outright as something that came from someone sore with his current partner. I found the comment insensitive and told him about it. That became Argument No. 1. He reacted very negatively to my reaction. Found it pikon of me. But as I mentioned, he quieted down and made peace (no apology).

Sunday afternoon. After a massage, we agreed to meet up for dinner. He just finished his massage and was supposed to be wrapping up. I told him I was very near the resto (which was like 15mins away from the spa where he had a massage). I waited for an hour for him! I was pissed and showed it. He reacted very negatively again. He didn’t want to be blamed for being late. He apologized but was very pissed about my ‘over-reaction.’ He stopped talking to me the entire night. I let him be, also still angry. What got to me more is that he reacts to my reaction. Sinasabayan pa ang inis ko. Finally, Monday morning, he makes peace. I accepted and did not bother to discuss the subject. Argument No. 2

Monday afternoon. He talked to my secretary and told her we’ve been arguing. He insinuated that I was ‘masungit’. I was surprised he told her about it. He arrived late at the movie screening. I was already with my sister, my nieces and nephews for Harry Potter. No big deal. After the movie, he was telling my sister how ‘sungit’ I have been again, in jest. I told him, jokingly, to shut up. We passed by my parents. He again joked with my household help that I was masungit. That was the last straw. I raised the issue and told him I found it offensive for him to keep telling people I was masungit. He went ballistic. I’ve been too sensitive, over-reacting to him, nitpicking. Argument No. 3

And I matched his histrionics. I left the unit and went drinking. More texts about how different I have become… that I am now better off alone, he was getting in the way, blah blah.

I didn’t go home. I went to sleep at a friend’s place, of course I was quite drunk. Called me up super-pissed that I wasn’t going home. He was leaving for good. I was too tired to argue.

I am now back in the condo. Alone. He's not here. Bags all packed and ready to go. Smashed a picture frame, bits of glass all over the bedroom floor...

it wasnt supposed to end this way...