ave maria

warning: a religious post

at the ministry renewal, we were reciting the holy rosary. i havent recited the rosary in quite a while.



when i was young, we used to recite the rosary as a family every night. early on, i have learned to just mouth the words of all the prayers. i believe in God... Our Father, who art in heaven... Hail Holy Queen, mother of mercy... i memorized them all!

in school, a catholic boy's institution, there was a special devotion to Mary. there would be daily noontime recitation of the rosary, led by a school org dedicated to mary. i'd attend but not as regularly. but there was some sense of fulfilment of responsibility that came with it.

but all that time, it was empty recitation of verses. those prayers didnt mean much, i have to admit. and soon enough, reciting the rosary was a chore.

as i gained more knowledge about my faith, i decided to be conscious of these prayers, to bring back my mind to my words as i recite the formulaic prayers. i would recite the memorized words slowly, internalizing, visualizing.

hail mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you! id imagine the overwhelming feeling her cousin, elizabeth, must have felt as she said these words. imagine her feeling to look at her cousin in a whole new light! this young pubescent girl is pregnant, with the seed of the God most high.

holy mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners. i need to humble myself and realize how sinful i am compared to her without blemish. she could intercede for me. she could help me gain forgiveness and grace from her Son.

now and at the hour of our death. every time i recite the prayer, i remind myself of my mortality, of a mortality that could happen anytime. my prayer to mary becomes urgent, important and humbling.

i tried to do this each and every time i recited the prayer. 50 times in one rosary. and the danger to go back to an empty recitation is always there. so i employ more tactics. i pictures of images of the mysteries of the rosary from different movies ive seen, or paintings, or pictures.

then i took it further. aba ginoong maria, napupuno ka ng grasya. ave maria, gratia plena. dios te salve, maría, llena eres de gracia. i memorized the hail mary in different languages. and tried to recite them during a rosary. 50 times.

there was time i would pray the rosary while running, during my morning runs. that was refreshing but again, just empty recitations. until i stopped altogether.

reciting the rosary today reminded me of all these. and the fact that i still mouth the prayers mindlessly. tsk. tsk. but my singing has given a new dimension to prayer. my favorite ave maria is by gounod. the chorus is just stirring. im almost in tears. so now, im learning to sing it well. and pray in the process.

my voice teacher said it best. when he sings the ave maria, or any church song for that matter, and he sings it well, there is that moment where the congregation is in full attention. and he believes he is able to bring them into prayer at that moment. and he is no longer just a singer with a song. he is one with them in one intense communal prayer.

i hope to be able to do that, too.

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