Tuesday, October 9, 2007

no easy way out

i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel yet.

partner knows everything, including this blog and its contents. he remains calm though the pain surfaces every so often.

we are still unsure where to take this after my revelation. i have a proposal which he wants to mull over.

he made some good points, some i totally did not anticipate. and i am at a loss with some of the questions he posted.

he doubts my resolve. or he doubts my sincerity. or he doubts my control over the situation. i dont blame him at all.

i.. we.. remain in the dark..

it's cold in here.

11 comments:

YAJNAT said...

run back to partner even if u tumbles or falls faster than the angel falls...
its dark but your eyes still can see something,,,just wait around,,,it will adjust,,,its not total darkness...
u still have him,,,and thats something...it'll be baby steps for now...

that IF you still wants and needs him...

but then again its your decision that matters...

Anonymous said...

Is it possible that this is "The Secret" at work? =) Me thinks there are no accidents in the world.

As long as you are still talking (or shouting, or figthing ) to each other, there will always be hope. The opposite of Love is not Hate, but Apathy.

D.C.

JOSH said...

now im dumbfounded... but u know CC, i think deep down your heart u already expect things like these will happen, just sooner than u think... prayer works in all things. I pray for u d spirit of bravery...

Shalom!

Anonymous said...

Malungkot nga istorya mo ngayon. Pero, di ba at some point, you know this will happen. Not a matter of if, but when.

Follow what you want. Baka tama rin yung sinabi mo. You're meant to be alone.

I am meant to be alone.

Ragnar

DATS said...

hi CC, I hope you wont mind sharing some thoughts regarding about your post...what you have is such a formidable set up with your partner and you have my great respect to that, hats off--God knows how effortful could that be...hence you and your partner can manage through it, that’s one thing I find it overwhelming.
However, I feel for your partner this could be very delicate for him handle... this may sound cheesy but I just hope you'll have each other back, 'we' all know how hard it is to be in that cold tunnel and wait for the light to shine in--the sleep ness nights hopeless thoughts and lots of tears...
Weight things CC…deep inside you have the true answer. All the best.

closet case said...

yajnat - beautifully said... very inspiring. its never really dark

dc - totally, totally agree. no accidents. ive been visualizing a 'peaceful' resolution... and it is coming about

josh, ragnar - yes... it was just a matter of time. and the time is here and now. funny lang how blogging made my teleseryistic life real-time

dats - very nice and kind words... the answer is deep within... ive seen it and ive read it. i just have to live it.

to all of you... thank you. cc

John Halcyon von Rothschild said...

Awww sweetie...all things come to an end. Hope everything works out for you. Be strong. Take life as it unfolds. Cheers!

Rob said...

CC, we are in a very similar situation... The only slight difference is, I may fall under the category of Enigma. Yes, I am in love with somebody who is committed. They've been together for quite sometime. I know its totally wrong for me to insist myself but how can loving somebody with all of your heart be so wrong? I also knew deep inside that he loves me. I have seen it through his eyes. I had seen it through his actions. And yes, he did say that he love me too. As of this time, everything is still hanging in the balance and the world may hate me for being 'mang-aagaw'. But what if you both love each other? Don't you want to give each other a chance? Don't you want to give yourself the chance to find the true happiness you've always wanted? I may be wrong, I may be right, but in the end, it's your feeling that really matters. Just follow it. Believe in it. You cannot have the best of both world. I'm pretty sure the light is also waiting at the end of the tunnel for the person who will lose you in the process.

closet case said...

thanks, john... the time had come, the time i was dreading... but it isnt nearly as bad as i thought it was going to be...

rob... reading your comment is like talking to enigma himself. i just hope the best for you, too. love is beautiful, even if it wasnt meant to be...

f i l l i b u s t e r o said...

like all card castles.
isang hatsing lang ang katapat.
*hugs*

closet case said...

korek ka jan, kapatid filli... thanks for the hug. needed that.