confused clerics

ive just watched two shows: a Twilight Zone episode "The Crossing", and full-length film, "Priest". Both are about catholic priests. both are old.

The Crossing (1988) - A priest is tormented by the appearance of a station wagon that repeatedly crashes and bursts into flames, with a young lady inside. She turns out to be a lady he once knew. and the accident happened years back. he was almost part of it. but he jumped out and was too scared to rescue his friend. he never really forgave himself for this cowardice. and in spite of all the achievements, he carried that guilt with him. the episode ends with his salvation - he gets into the station wagon once again, with his lady friend and dies.

Priest (1994) - Father Greg Pilkington (Linus Roache) is torn between his call as a conservative Catholic priest and his secret life as a homosexual with a gay lover, frowned upon by the Church. Upon hearing the confession of a young girl of her incestuous father, Greg enters an intensely emotional spiritual struggle deciding between choosing morals over religion and one life over another. Written by Eric Chor {spiritcircle@yahoo.com}, Lifted from IMDB.

Priest is moving though I feel the directorial treatment was sometimes trite. There was the juxtaposed scenes of Fr Greg crying out to Jesus for being callous towards the abused child as the mother discovers the incestuous relationship. And scenes of him sorting out his life, with the background chorus of "you'll never walk alone".

The Crossing was more direct with its treatment. the Twilight Zone animates Fr Mark's guilt. and there could only be one resolution for him.

i am drawn to the complex characters both struggling with their demons of guilt. guilt for cowardice, guilt for sexual behavior and for not being able to help an abused girl, due to the vow of secrecy of confession. Fr Mark's demons actually drove him to be very productive in the episode. But it wasnt enough.

and just like them, demons reside in the deep recesses of cc's soul. though i let them be, i know that i would need to confront them, when the time is right.