a blogger's tale

"my background is copy-writing. that's why i enjoy those types of books." while pointing to this book on the etymology of words.
"cool. why don't you blog?"
"huh? ive got nothing new to say. what's been said that hasn't been said?"
"true. but may be you've got a different way of saying it"
"please, it's like everybody's a writer now. everybody has blog!" sounding exasperated.
"i mean, there's just so much trash out there. i don't want to contribute to that."
"and who really wants to read all that crap about what i do or what i think."
im slowly feeling my face turn red. thank God it was dark in his room.
"i dont want to add to that."
"i see. well, that's cool, too."
"do you have a blog?"
"yes, as a matter of fact, i do."
"oh. there you go. foot in the mouth."
"it's ok." but i still feel hot under the collar. i felt the sexual attraction dissipate.

my instinct was to get up and leave. but i fought that. and i diverted the conversation to another topic. it went ok. but i felt stung there, somehow.

sayang. he is a cute and sexy grindree. smart, around my age range. great big condo all to himself. obviously made. and looks like old wealth.

but it wasnt just that, of course. maybe he didnt like me either because he didnt really make any moves. so i left with just a handshake.

so im still mulling over that. i felt affected by that very honest statement. like im such a trying-hard writer wearing my heart out on a sleeve. like it's some important content. even steve jobs commented "“I don’t want to see us descend into a nation of bloggers. I think we need editorial now more than ever.”

my initial reaction was, of course, defensive. like an attack on me as a person who blogs.

but beyond that, i've sobered up and realized that cutie has a point. blogs have lessened the accountability of writers for accurate, relevant content. but it also makes me realize that i am blogger. and i've never claimed to be a writer or author or anything. but even as a blogger, i need to exercise enough effort to guarantee that my content, whatever it may be, will strive to make this world a better place to live in. perhaps through its entertainment, educational or resonance value. even if i only have one raider left. so i won't be guilty of being just an irresponsible venue of self-expression or even narcissism.

and the best way for me to achieve that is to continue to listen to my raiders, to read their comments. and that feedback is the best benefit one gets as a blogger. and finally, to rephrase emily dickinson

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not blog in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting raider
Unto his path again,
I shall not blog in vain.