consulted with my therapist @mcvie :-) last night, over chocolate, coffee and coke zero.
he was so nice to offer some free time to chat, analyze, dissect cc at his emo moment. aside from the therapy session, i was eager to see him and just have a nice catch-up conversation, between two seahorses born weeks apart (pisces-horse zodiac signs).
why are you so bothered by comments from your readers? why dont you just zap those you don't agree with?
talking to @mcvie made me explore the answers in so many levels.
people-pleaser. perhaps partly an inborn trait. both my parents are very sociable. popular. and i was a natural, putting people at ease, being friendly and approachable. i liked seeing people smile and agree with me.
and also, it comes with being in marketing half of my life, a predisposition to think of the 'consumer', 'end-user'. a skill critical to my career.
affirmation-seeking. no surprise for a middle child. fighting for attention and affirmation with five siblings.
beyond that, the blog has become another source of affirmation with the raiders' comments as evidence. since day one of the blog, i looked forward to the comments, the contributions of the raiders eagerly. reinforced by positive comments, i become mindful of what raiders will comment, thinking that each and every raider is so precious because they even bothered to read and comment. i have then started to be bothered by nega comments, comments that may mean i have displeased the very few who have even taken time off to follow the blog.
that thinking also led me to aspire to be a better writer, aware that i dont even deserve the title 'writer'. i read with envy some of those well-written blogs, cited by others for their prose and poetry. a carry-over of my competitiveness, i also sought that recognition, even though at the back of my mind i knew it was a pipe dream.
all of these thoughts have led me to stray from the primary purpose of my blogging - to express my self, share my thoughts.
@mcvie knocked sense into my head. he reminded me of that blog soul (and the power of comments moderation). even as i truly appreciate raiders and their comments, i should not be held hostage by them. and though a public journal puts me in this predicament of receiving both positive and negative comments, i must be of a better disposition to appreciate either. yet not to be so affected either way as to change my style and my purpose.
ultimately, i write to record my thoughts and express myself, and to communicate sometimes even just to me. so even if i have just one raider, i would continue to churn out these entries, because i am already made a better person just by writing them.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
8 comments:
This is not about you... It is about @mcvie. Over lunch, I tried to discuss with him a paper that I was trying to finish and he gave me helpful comments. He truly is a wonderful guy; tries to listen and provides constructive criticism.
The day I found the courage to take out my comment box was the day I learned that I am not beholden to my readers anymore.
Love it or hate it, the souljacker still answers to me.
Way to go CC.
So, given your fair and objective justification.... are you going to repost your "letter to the family" and "my honest comment"? after all, you are just doing the primary purpose of your blogging - - express yourself, share your thoughts.
Vince
@CC: Good lord, I said all that?! The way that you've described it, gosh, I seem to make sense, hahahaha! And I thought I was just winging it while munching on to-die-for dark chocolate.
Seriously, you mentioned issues on both form and content; let me just remind you about the form part. You DO write well; clarity and simplicity are attributes rarely appreciated these days. (And besides, I've yet to hear of a Pulitzer Prize for blog writing.)
Labia, sis. =)
@MARKY: Thank you for your comment. =)
@CC (again): Thank you for not zapping Marky's comment, hahaha!
I would welcome all comments. They are good whether they're positive or negative :) You should get affected when no one bothers to respond to your posts anymore.
Honestly, I also sorta kinda somewhat raised a bit of an eyebrow very very lightly reading your letter post. Madaming labels, and unnecessary details (did we/your family really have to know it was "Bose" speakers? hehe) But I think it was all good, just a 40(?) year old guy being happy and proud of his trimmings and accomplishments, until you brought up 'old house'. Reading ko lang 'to ha, maybe I was stressed that day; the last paragraph seemed written with a kind of detachment.
After laying down Starbucks, Bluray, and personal trainers, you drop roaches, rats, and canal water; 'dun siguro yung sinasabi ng reader mo na medyo turn off. It read as if to make the point that you've really really come a long long way noh tologoh. Which, without blogging about it, your readers already know naman and love about you.
Maybe you're bugged about the comment not because you disagree with it, but maybe you sorta kinda somewhat uhhhhmmm...agree? (*Ducks under the couch for cover* Please don't hurt me, cc, I love your blog. But should you try to hit me with something, please please throw the iPad!)
i don't know if this helps...somewhere sitting probably in your pile of junk(or spam) folder there might still be an email subjt:room for rent sent a couple of months back. ego booster alert.
buti naman at natauhan ka teh. basta wag mo lang i-delete ang comment. pramis, hindi ako magnenega. :)
There is no need to please everybody; you may end up pleasing nobody! A blog is an opinion, a form of self-expression. Not everyone may desire what we write. Some may even read it with contempt! But everyone is entitled to express his or her opinion freely. Since this is your blog, then be the boss! Either they follow your rules or they stay out of your cyberworld!
--Henry
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