it was the first time for ALL fabcasters to be present in an out of town trip, with migs back in town again. we were joined by friends from the peanut gallery and some new (for me) faces from mggff.
what makes me want to post was when migs accosted me with the query: what's up with you, cc? all these things happening to you, you sound... desperate. is it because time is running out for you? i mean, getting old will surely catch up with how you look.
trust migs, and the rest of the fabcasters, to surely catch me off guard. they never fail. so there i was groping for answers. and frankly, the things that i mouthed off i wasnt so sure of. it's not as if i've been doing these things and analyzing and dissecting my motivations. but heck, that provoked me to ponder on the query and come up with a SOCA: state of cc address
friends and raiders. the posts of the past months in various online sources must have puzzled, confused and discombobulated some of you. so i earnestly try to lay out what i have been up to lately.
i have been dating a few nice people. they are nice enough to hang out with me and i enjoy their company.
i also have been meeting and on a few occasions, mating (LOL) some new grindrees. grindr has actually strengthened my resolve to be in the best shape possible, if only to make sure that when they meet the real thing, my virtual to real ratio would be 1. (my torso profile pic just like here)
i am obviously having fun and enjoying my singularity. (love this physics term) i choose not to commit because i don't want to give up this freedom.
is this something new to cc? not really. even before blogging, i have been one to indulge, again on occasion, in recreational sex. i would control this when i was still in a relationship. but when the relationship was going south, i let go of the restraining order.
so what's new? at first thought, i would have said nothing. but now i realize that what changed is my new attitude towards recreational sex in the light of my faith. i have slowly extricated that catholic guilt so firmly entwined in my system. i have started to relax about it and just enjoy adult consensual sex.
with that change came technology (grindr), access became easier. my perceived improvements in fitness have led to even better confidence. and with a little less stress in work and personal projects, there was more dating time available. a perfect storm of opportunity i am now taking advantage of.
i am proverbially striking while the iron is hot. and i have stopped apologizing for it.
it finally dawned on me. life is too short to have guilt weigh me down.
7 comments:
hmmm, it looks like you haven't grown at all. but at your age?
wow! its good to see that you are having such a great time. what is important is you are happy and at peace with what you are doing. and of course acting responsibly.
as for the catholic guilt, my take on this is that it will be a lifelong dilemma. it may be gone for now but it will be back to haunt you later. the way i see it is that our all knowing and compassionate god would not have made us gay and be unable to live our sexuality. the church in its 2000 year history has erred so many times. the teaching on homosexuality may yet be another one that will be changed in the future to be more understanding of our situation. it may not be much but its a perspective i take.
take care.
pinoybkkian
*clap clap clap*
no one needs to apologize for who they are and what they do as long as they don't hurt or step on other people to do it.
@TONY: But one should apologize for posting the same comment TWICE. (Etchoz! Jowks lang powhz.)
@CC: But I for one should apologize. It's my fault this new attitude of yours in recreational sex. Mea culpa! Mea culpa! Mea... ay teka. ANSAYA-SAYA KAYA NG ADULT CONSENSUAL SEX NOH! That's something the Catholic priests aren't supposed to be having, thus they resort to sexually abusing kids. *KA-POW!* ehehehehe
gow lang ng gow!
just always take care of yourself CC...
and be happy!!hehe
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