Wednesday, July 28, 2010

a foul mood

admittedly, i am moody. little things set me off. and i can't stay put until i've expressed disappointment, irritation, anger, even.

i'm pissed off now because my living room window view is ruined. two weeks back, my mom ordered the male help to cut off the branches of the kaimito in front of my window. without my permission, without my knowledge.

i love that kaimito tree. i went through great pains to make sure that it becomes an integral part of the new house. during construction, it seemed dead, with most of its major branches cut-off. but when everything cleared, it started growing again, lushly. i was happy the way the branches and leaves were actually blocking part of my window, providing a nice foliage from the inside, and screen from the outside. it took months for the tree to grow that way.

she had it cut off. she was afraid that it was growing wildly.

that was two weeks ago. when i saw it cut, i went to her and told her, respectfully, trying to maintain my composure, that she shouldn't have done that. that she should inform me of decisions like these that affect my unit. she apologized. i stepped out.

i've somehow managed to forget it for the past weeks. but today, as i try to enjoy my living room, i look out and see a ruined view. and my temper just rises instantly.

i am not the loud type. i will show my foul mood by clamming up. by not engaging in conversation. i want to express this displeasure to her again. and tell her i feel so pissed.

but i won't. i can't. nothing will come out of it. the branches and leaves won't grow any faster. and telling her off will just hurt her. no matter how tactfully ill try to put it.

though i know my sudden mood change, my cold treatment also affects her and affects them, i can just lie about it, if asked. a bad day at work.

so this post is for me, raider. sorry. i just had to let it out.

15 comments:

Martin said...

Good for you, this speaks to me as a wise thing to do in those situations. Feel better.

tots said...

poor kaimito tree..parang caimito ata yan ah..it bears fruit?hehe..kasi we had that in our backyard..hehe

maginoongbulakenyo said...

Relax lang sir, tutubo rin ang caimito..I love reading your blog!

Jedd said...

Caimito trees grow really fast. With the rainy season, it should look better by the time the holidays come. A little tree talk and hug once in a while ought to help as well.

toffer said...

galing naman..you love trees...:)

Myth Maker said...

what else sets you off? i can relate to this. the little things are the prickly ones sometimes .

cutemarc17 said...

there there. star apple trees grow fast. it will growing leaves as soon as you know it. like you blogged before, let go of this. it will be green, with fruit, in no time. til then, always smile!

Ming Meows said...

lilipas din yan.

CladestinePlanet said...

i can totally relate. i have mood swings too. and often, it's translated to anger. they say, "why are you so angry ba?" and sometimes call me pikon. they attempt to define my anger/mood it terms they can understand.

and they end up asking questions like- may naka-away ka? woke up on the wrong side of the bed? or worse, do you have pms?

but i just can't explain. there are no reasons, only triggers.

Guyrony said...

For in due time everything will settle back to what they were again.

A beauty sleep is what you need to take away your irritation.

Anonymous said...

mothers are mothers...

with their age, for almost every wrong that they do, you just have to forgive them and be quiet about it... especially when you know for a fact that there is practically nothing that can be done about it...

Anonymous said...

Kaimito grows so fast. before you know it parang acacia tree. worst of all, the roots of a kaimito tree grow horizontally and not vertical. besides, kaimito tree lang yan.. plant a mahogany tree instead.

CladestinePlanet said...

@Anonymous(yung 2nd anonymous na nag comment) -nosebleed!

CC, pls explain his comment nga... pretty please. na-ihi ako nang 3 drops trying to connect the dots. hahaha...

Peace anonymous!

parteeboi said...

i still think you are a sweet son... but i think i feel a little for your mom too... miss mom...

Anonymous said...

i respect your opinion but please bear with your mom...even how unpleasurable it may seems as a result of her action...
a mom is a mom...we ought it to them...for without them we are nothing...