i didnt mean to

i really didnt mean to hurt you. you have to know that. but im so sorry for the pain i've caused.

i did say that it was all for fun, right? i did tell you not to expect. that i can't offer anything. you said it was fine. you agreed.

and now, after some months of this situation, you are hurting. i'm really sorry.

i didn't mean for you to fall. but i know that despite all my earlier disclaimers, it is still my fault. and im sorry for the pain.

i didnt even plan this for this evening. weren't we just having fun? but when i broached the topic of wanting to hold you and kiss you again, i told you that i'm now questioning whether i should. whether it was the right thing to do.

then it dawned on you. my hesitation was my admission. that i was not mr right. i was just mr right now. that burst the bubble of hope. a bubble i also helped build. because i was selfish. because i was near-sighted.

im sorry for hurting you this way.

if you hate me, id understand. i dont like me, too, either.