man-crush: restraint

the next few dates were just heavenly. with uncertainties gone, we were now more comfortable talking about our selves, our interests, looking for more common ground to establish a future.

i was also keeping my hands to myself. i didnt want to appear too aggressive and jump at the opportunity to make out. i bumped into mcvie one time, on one of our dates. he asked whether something has happened. i told him nothing yet. not even a kiss. in true mcvie fashion, he exclaims "impostor! you have snatched cc's body! bring him back! hahaha" i guess it is totally uncharacteristic of cc!

one time, i invited him to watch a dvd at home. though we were going to watch in my bedroom, i still managed to restrain myself from even touching him. we just sat beside each other on the bed intently watching the movie.

the movie "the stoning of soraya m" was actually a drama made heavy with its statement about the treatment of women in khomeini-iran. the stoning was particularly graphic and heart-wrenching. and with each rock thrown, he would try to look away from the tv, ending up burying his face on my shoulder.

as the movie was ending, i gingerly wrapped my arm around him. i just let him rest his head on my chest.

slowly our fingers interwined. my other hand was tenderly stroking his hair. it was a beautiful moment, just lying there.

then he raised his head and faced me. his lips found mine. the kisses turned from gentle and tender to intense and passionate.

i can never adequately describe that feeling. "rapture" seems too tame. but it went on and on. both of us just bursting with this all shared affection focused on our lips, our tongues, our embrace.

in between the kisses, we would look at each other. i would behold the beauty of his face, marvel at perfection - the nose, the lips, the eyes. i was looking at forever in his eyes.

neither of us pushed it further than that. eventually, we broke the embrace, after what seemed to be an eternity. and we came back to earth.

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